October 24, 2013

Those of us about to be sold short salute you

Here’s a fantastic find in Fremont for ya with fab fotos!  Plus, there’s an AUCTION. Oooh, excitement!  Whoops, they already had it. Think it sold?

131023-bowling-redfin34179 BOWLING GREEN Cmn
Fremont, CA 94555
$385,000

HOA Dues: $275/mo.
4 Beds
2.5 Baths
1,474 Sq. Ft.
$261 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1970
Lot Size: 1,027 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 23 days
Status: Active
HOA Dues: $275/month
Style: Traditional
View: Other
County: Alameda
Type: Townhouse
Stories: 2
Community: Northgate West
MLS#: 40633445

This 4 BR and 2.5 BA townhome is convenient to shopping, park and 880. Lots of light in this two story end unit with patio. DP windows. Needs TLC. Finance incentives – Call Nationstar Mortgage 877.825.2432. Open house 10/12 & 10/14 11- 4. Offers to homesearch.com auction 10/18-24th.

Oh oh.  View is usually “Neighborhood” unless it’s something awesome such as “Golden Gate Bridge” or “Mountains” or “Skyline.”  What do you think an “Other” view is? Is this house appearing on Point/Counterpoint?

Then again, with real estate photography this poignant, this house is more likely to show up on some Reality (not Realty) show such as Real Housewives of Fremont.

131023-bowling-kitchen131023-bowling-salute131023-bowling-living

And since when is $385K under Redfin’s minimum commission?

Alas, the reserve for the auction was not met.  But check out the page for more awesome photos like these.

131023-bowling-auction1131023-bowling-toilet

Comments (5) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:07 am






October 5, 2013

Open Thread Salute

It’s the weekend! Time to see what’s available because YOU SHOULD BE BUYING A HOUSE! Or selling one.

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We hope you appreciate the two-tone paint job as well. Now tell us how your Open House visits go in this Weekend Open Thread.

Comments (12) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:05 am

August 15, 2013

Flowing open floor plan in the far-flung exurbs

We have been spending FAR too much time in Silicon Valley. Let’s take a look at a property far away from Google in the far-flung San Jose exurbs. Or would that be Mountain View exurbs, given our comments about San Jose yesterday? This one’s a good fifty miles from Downtown SanHo, so it definitely is a long enough commute to be beyond a mere suburb. And like most exurban homes, it’s bigger than the usual Monta Loma Eichloid.  Whoops, Pending, even in the exurbs!

Thanks very much to Burbed reader amer_icongrl for today’s listing!

130814-17th-redfin1571 17th Ave
San Francisco, CA 94122
$1,049,000

3 Beds
3 Baths
2,140 Sq. Ft.
$490 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1930
Lot Size: —
On Redfin: 26 days
Status: Pending
Property Type: Single-Family Home
Community: Inner Sunset
MLS#: 410598
View: Panoramic, Water, Ocean
County: San Francisco

Panoramic ocean views are just the beginning in this exceptional Spanish Mediterranean home on a premier 17th Ave block. With a flowing open floor plan, 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, wood burning fireplace, and hardwood floors throughout, there is everything needed for gracious living. Enjoy the views from enclosed sun porches and dine casually in the eat-in kitchen.

130814-17th-sunporchYou’re going to have to enjoy views from the enclosed sun porches because this house doesn’t have a lot size. Oh, wait, the public records say it’s 3,000 square feet.

You’re welcome.  Here’s a typical example of the spectacular sunshine you’ll enjoy on the sunporches when you’re 50 miles from San Jose.

Now let’s hear from amer_icongrl.

17th Ave is the new "Inner Sunset"

130814-17th-stackedI gasped when I saw the location of the stackable washer & dryer.  Also, an overpriced home in SF is no surprise, but typically for 1mil + they put some effort into staging the place (or at the very least, put the toilet seat down).

I just love the "why bother? they’ll come with cash and overbids anyway" attitude!

It’s pending, right?

130814-17th-toiletWait, did you say open toilet? You are talking some serious Burbed win, here.  We’d been doing such a good job educating realtards on basic Dos and Don’ts, (Do include more than one photo, Don’t shoot until you’ve cleaned up the room, that sort of thing) that it’s been ages since we’ve seen a toilet salute.

Thanks for making our day! We’ve added it to our grand collection of Saluting Toilets over on Redfin Collections!

Be sure to check out more of the photos. These are some of the saddest, loneliest listing pictures in a million dollar house we’ve seen in a while. If only this place knew the way to San Jose.

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:10 am

August 14, 2013

Vintage property on Park Avenue, shown by appointmnet only

Sure, Park Avenue is a destination address in The Big Apple. Today’s house, however, is located in a different Big City, namely Wait, That’s A Top Ten City? or as it’s also known, Bigger Than San Francisco? RU SRS?  Being serious, can you name one major company headquartered in San Jose? Neither can we, and we already mentioned a big one named Apple that’s over in Cupertino.  Okay, Adobe, but that’s ONE. There probably aren’t any more.

Meanwhile, we’ve got a Park Avenue property from Burbed reader Swan for you today. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did.  (That is if by “enjoy” we really meant “avoid.”)

130813-park-redfin1083 PARK Ave
San Jose, CA 95126
$599,000

3 Beds
1.5 Baths
1,492 Sq. Ft.
$401 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1925
Lot Size: 6,560 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 97 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Central San Jose
MLS#: 81315666
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

Single family home with additional rooms attached to garage. Showing by appointmnet only.

130813-park-fromstreetHere’s Swan’s song:

Saving the best for last, I give you 1083 Park Ave., San Jose. This listing is full of Burbed Win!  First, five beautiful, out of focus pictures of the front of the house. 

Second, there are some fuzzy photos of the interior.  These pictures start off showing what seems to be pretty decent living and dining areas.  Is that a glass of beer on the dining table?  If so, it goes with the beer ad on the TV! 

130813-park-tv130813-park-dining

130813-park-kitchenThe kitchen, other than the post near the refrigerator, isn’t bad either.   In pictures #12 and #13 we are given a slow introduction as to what is to come.  Have you ever watched "Hoarders?"  Well, pictures 14 and 15 could be right out of an episode!

Before you call the cleanup crew, look at pictures 16 and 17.  Apparently only the storage area is a mess because the bathroom and laundry area aren’t too bad.  Notice the toilet seat is up in the bathroom!  Also, does the random arm in #17 count as a Dude Hanging Out? 

130813-park-another-fine-mess130813-park-neat130813-park-bath130813-park-partial-dho

We aren’t done yet!  Check out Streetview for a bunus!! Porta-potty next door!

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That’s an even better bunus than a trash bin! Plus… Holy Jughandle, Batman, is that a sound wall? No! It isn’t!

130813-park-laundromat

Wow, this is exciting! Whatever are they building next door? A liquor store? An adult movie emporium? So many exciting possibilities for making new friends!

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:08 am

August 6, 2013

SELLER PREFERS “AS IS SALE”. FOR GREAT JUSTICE.

Let’s now return to what makes Burbed the destination real estate site for the entire Bay Area. No, we’re not referring to our excellent Bay Area Bubble 4.0 coverage or our extensive featured looks at half million dollar crapboxes.  Today’s entry is what makes the Real Bay Area so very Special: Listings at WTF prices and WTF problems.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for sending in today’s Los Gatos Gotcha.

130805-blackberry-redfin16480 BLACKBERRY HILL Rd
Los Gatos, CA 95030
$1,795,000

3 Beds
3 Baths
3,046 Sq. Ft.
$589 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1976
Lot Size: 5.17 Acres
On Redfin: 28 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81324314
Style: Ranch, Spanish
View: Bay, Canyon, Valley, City Lights
County: Santa Clara

Excellent Candidate For 130805-blackberry-fadeddyeRemodel or Build Dream Home. Sweeping Views From Most Rooms. Upstairs 3BD/2BA/KIT/DR/LR/UTIL. RM. Downstairs Game Room w/ Slider, Office W/ Bath & Large Storage Room. Lots Of Storage, Cabinets and Closets Everywhere. 1.5 Miles From Los Gatos. WATER WILL BE TURNED OFF. DO NOT USE TOILETS. Seller Wants NO CHILDREN in property. .FOR SAFETY REASONS. SELLER PREFERS "AS IS SALE".

130805-blackberry-bath

Let’s have Swan float in here.

[Today’s home] is in the same area as the Kennedy home [submitted last week].  This house is on Blackberry Hill Road:  .  You know it’s Burbed material when then listing starts with, "Excellent candidate for remodel."  In this case, the listing gets even better!  "WATER WILL BE TURNED OFF. DO NOT USE TOILETS. Seller Wants NO CHILDREN in property. .FOR SAFETY REASONS."  There is an open house this weekend.  I so want to go with a full bladder and a few small children who can run wild while I try to use the bathroom!  Be sure to check out the pictures of the lovely wallpaper in the kitchen and master bath!

130805-blackberry-kitchenThat is quite something, although our gaping is for the photo above it of the grounds. It looks like it was taken in 1972 and left in a shoebox so the dyes would age properly.  And it makes the kitchen treatment look almost contemporary. Oh wait, we meant contemptuous. Using that white tile isn’t fooling anyone; that kitchen was remodeled in 1987 whether it needed it or not!

Remember the WATER WILL BE TURNED OFF.  FOR SAFETY REASONS.

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:03 am

June 14, 2013

Game of Thrones in Daly City

130613-parkview-throneWe love featuring all kinds of Bay Area Real Estate win: the bad listing photos, the atrocious listing copy, the ridiculous pricing, the uncorrectable defects better known as location fail, the horrendous décor choices, or any other example of Realty WTF that our readers send us.

Today’s entry will start your weekend off well.  While Game of Thrones just finished its third season on HBO, you can play the game on the Peninsula! Thanks very much to Burbed reader waiting_for_the_fall for this fantastic installment!

130613-parkview-redfin96 PARKVIEW Ave
Daly City, CA 94014
$489,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,150 Sq. Ft.
$425 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1922
Lot Size: 3,300 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 40 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: ‘Original’ Daly City
MLS#: 81315124
Stories: 1
County: San Mateo

Complete fixer in great Daly City neighborhood. City approved remodel plans in place to create legal 3 bedroom 2 bath. Large corner lot close to transportation and shopping. Detached garage and private, low maintenance yard. Lots of sweat equity in this home ready for the handy buyer!

First let’s have a good look around, especially that low maintenance yard.

130613-parkview-gated130613-parkview-paint130613-parkview-window

What does waiting_for_the_fall have to say about this charming cottage?

I got another one for you.  This one is a real stinker.

Check out the steps up to both toilets.  I’ve heard of toilets called thrones before, but this is taking it a bit too far.  The listing history is like a roller coster.  How can anyone think this crapshack (with toilet thrones!) is worth 489k?!?

130613-parkview-bath130613-parkview-bath2

If anyone buys this house at the listed price, they are mentally insane.

If everyone is high on bubbly, that’s not mental insanity. That’s a day in the Bay Area that ends with “-y”!  Y for Yes We Are!

Comments (2) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:04 am

May 9, 2013

You will own the house that everyone talks about

Let’s continue looking at some homes untouched by Bay Area Bubble 4.0 fever!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader dollarbin for this fantastic find: over 200 days on the market and wait until you see the price history! Amazing!

130508-83rd-redfin1915 83RD Ave
Oakland, CA 94621
$189,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,526 Sq. Ft.
$124 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1963
Lot Size: 5,400 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 210 days
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Alameda
Style: Custom
Community: East Oakland
MLS#: 40592548

Come and see this custom built Eichler in Oakland. You will own the house that everyone talks about. This house is an architectural masterpiece and the additional master bed and bath make it incredible. This is the only Eichler in this part of Oakland. Open House April 6th, 10 AM- 12PM.

130508-83rd-saluteHere’s what dollarbin thought of the place:

I’ve been sitting on this one for quite some time and it’s finally pending but as a short sale, I bet it will have a long luxurious escrow.  Check out the listing price history, more ups and downs than a whack-a-mole game. Bring on the Eichler lovers!

There’s so much to salute about this property, it’s hard to figure out where to start the rollout.  How about we take a look at all the attractive price points it has offered in search of the One True Buyer.

130508-83rd-history

No wonder it’s selling shortly!  Don’t miss the Open House, either! Um, whoops.  Hey, this is the only Eichler in this part of Oakland!

Comments (12) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

April 25, 2013

Vaya con Vacaville

BlogAtoZ-VToday’s featured Villa is brought to you by the letter V. Yes, the danged Blogging from A to Z Challenge has not been Vanquished yet.  Verily, we have a Vague suspicion that some are Vexed that we’re skipping over the Rodney Dangerfield of the Bay Area, Vallejo. We feel Vallejo’s been Vanquished and another Village needs the Vital exposure this site gives to Bay Area real estate.

Translation: Vacaville, on Burbed for the Very first time, show us your Virtues!  We could mention the Very name means, literally, “cow town.” At least Vallejo was named after a Victorious general.

130424-brown-redfin200 Brown St
Vacaville, CA 95688
$114,900

2 Beds
1 Baths
904 Sq. Ft.
$127 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1950
Lot Size: 6,098 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 33 days
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Solano

This fixer has a good size lot and tremendous potential close to public transportation schools great freeway access.

This listing copy has a good start and tremendous potential close to acceptable noun plural noun adjective concept whoops run on sentence.

130424-brown-back130424-brown-wooden

We can smell the potential from here.

130424-brown-double-hammered130424-brown-toilet

Ah, a saluting toilet! We’ve missed these.  Maybe more agents read Burbed than we thought, as open toilets are getting more difficult to find in listing photos.  And that’s a Good Thing.

130424-brown-kitchen130424-brown-double-windows

Sunny yellow kitchen and space to dine.

Also this house was foreclosed on in February.  February, 2013. And that’s Vexing, as foreclosures and NODs and other housing fail are down substantially Virtually everywhere. 

Comments (5) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

February 21, 2013

HOUSE for under $300K with colorful history, we bet

Yes, you heard right, today we have an actual house for sale for less than $300 big ones.  That means you have no more excuses for not becoming a homedebtor.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader holyzoo for passing along this palace in Pacifica!

130220-edgemar-movoto627 Edgemar Ave
Pacifica, CA 94044
$289,000

Loan Payment: $1,022/mo
Bedrooms: 3
Bathrooms: 1&1/2
Size: 1,000 sqft
$/Sqft: $289/sqft
Type: Single Family House
Year Built: 1950
Lot Size: 5,104
Days on Movoto: 14 days
Neighborhood: Pacific Manor
MLS#: 81303817
Status: Active

This is a total fixer upper. The house needs everything! Swimming pool full of rancid water. Considered uninhabitable . Sewer lateral needs to be replaced. This is a contractor special. The house needs all new systems and total restoration. Large termite report calls for further inspections. Holes in walls. Wood floors ruined.

130220-edgemar-hardwoodDid you hear that? This house has EVERYTHING!  Let’s check in with the zed.

Yeah, I know it’s totally not RBA, but how often do you actually see a listing for under $300k?

I think we’ll be heading to the open house just to feel thankful we don’t have cancer or gangrene.

Speaking of the open house, let’s see how open the walls are.

Wait a minute, wait a minute… Remember when we last saw floors like this?  Sure you do.

130220-edgemar-chemstains-article

130220-edgemar-entryNow, we are definitely not saying that this house could have allegedly been a hypothetical meth lab.  And we are definitely not saying that this house could have been used for any non-normal innocent suburban purposes whatsoever OH PLEASE DON’T SUE US PLEASE DON’T THROW US INTO THAT BRIAR PATCH JACKPOT JURY PROCESS. 

But we are saying that it’s a good thing the nearest fire station is, we swear we are not making this up, only 88 yards from this house.

Have a look at some more pictures, including one that is very definitely NSFW, after the break.

(more…)

Comments (29) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

December 5, 2012

Far from the maddening crowds [sic] in Napa County. Rural Napa County.

121122-blackfridayYou thought we forgot about our Black Friday Deals Deals DEALS? Of course not!  We’ll be throwing in our rock-bottom sale items whenever the mood strikes us, and right now, the mood slapped us silly while saying, “Hey, how about you find another Cheapest In The Whole County” item?  We’ve only got two counties in the Bay Area left, so today we’re headed up to the Whine Country!

Warning: This is definitely not The Real Bay Area.

121204-lariat-redfin205 LARIAT St
CA 94567
$89,900

3 Beds 
2.5 Baths 
2,504 Sq. Ft.
$36 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1993 
Lot Size: 0.74 Acres 
On Redfin: 181 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Residential, Single Family
View: Canyon, Hills, Mountain, Valley
MLS#: Lc12071394
Style: Two Level
County: Napa

Far from the maddening crowds. .. your own private sanctuary located in Berryessa Estates! This home features parquet flooring in the dining area and living room. The living room has a fireplace with bench seating, two decks on either side while offering open access to the dining area right off the kitchen. The Master is located on the main floor and also 121204-lariat-kitchenoffers access to one of the two decks. Master bath features jetted tub to chase the cares of the day away. Downstairs is an oasis with a large family room with pellet stove and 2 additional bedrooms, bath, laundry room and the patio. Decks overlook the valley, what a great way to unwind! True there is work to be done but if you’re seeking seclusion, put this property on your list and take advantage of this great price reduction!

True there is work to be done.  Maybe it could start with rounding up this home a city to go with its street address.

121204-lariat-stairsWhat else needs to be on your list?  That is, aside from the bills from Cal Fire, the problems with the water and sewer services, and the growing number of foreclosures in the area due to residents unable to pay the huge water and sewer service bills. And bonds.  And fines for sewage spills.

Looks like if you move here, you’ll be tied up with all these exciting challenges!  But not as challenging as the previous owners who bought it in 2004 for $355K and were lassoed into foreclosure seven years later! 

Now when we said this place was rural, we weren’t kidding. You’ll be getting along your little dogie for a spell finding the place.


View Larger Map

Now will someone give this realtard a copy of the Hardy novel

Comments (6) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am