One of the problems with buying a house in Mountain View is that much of the housing stock is old yet expensive.  And by “old” we don’t mean “charming,” we mean “out of style” and “needs major renovation.”  We’re still talking about cookie-cutter tract homes, but in Mountain View, they’re million dollar cookie-cutter tract homes.

Not today’s property!  Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater found us a new property, so new we’re having trouble figuring out where it is.  And that’s where you come in!

291 Geary Way
Mountain View, CA 94041
$1,249,900

Loan Payment:  $4,283/mo
Bedrooms:  4
Bathrooms:  4
Size:  1,744 sqft
$/Sqft:  $716/sqft
Type:  Single Family House
Year Built:  2012
Lot Size:  1,768
Days on Movoto:  48 days
Neighborhood:  Downtown
MLS#:  81231702
Status:  Pending – Do Not Show

This gorgeous new 4 bedroom home is sure to impress with its stunning wrap-around balcony. This Home is in a prime location on the park AND it is an end-unit! The open floor plan is spacious and fully equipped with all the latest interior finishes. The first level has a bedroom and full bath which is perfect for a guest or the in-laws. Hurry in before it’s too late!

You didn’t hurry in and now it’s too late!  Despite the lack of interior photos, you cannot buy this house (for $1.25M!!!!) because someone’s already beaten you to it.  And note that by “house” we really mean “who are they kidding, if they admit this is an ‘end unit’ then why not just call it a townhouse?”

Note the clever home type: “Single Family House.”  Nothing about whether it’s attached to or detached from anything (other than pricing sanity). 

Does anyone know where this complex is and if anything is still for sale there?  Could it be this one?  Because if it is, you have better like trains.  And by “like” we mean “like listening to them.” Lots of them. Most realty sites don’t map the location, and the one that did seems to be somewhat lost.  (Hint: Fremont is not a neighborhood in Mountain View.)

More importantly, are you impressed with its stunning wrap-around balcony?  PS: If you liked this house, you might also like this one, which is on the same street but not too late.

When a market is as hot, hot, HOT as Mountain View, it pays to look at what won’t sell.  Take a gander at this gorgeous gatehouse and let us know why you think it’s still without a prom date.

140 HORIZON Ave
Mountain View, CA 94043
$899,900; raised from $879,900 on 8/24/12

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,419 Sq. Ft.
$634 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1970
Lot Size: 6,100 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 38 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: North Shoreline
MLS#: 81230153
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

LOCATION!LOCATION!LOCATION! Beautiful home in downtown MtView! Mostly dual pane windows/doors; gleaming hardwood flr, plantation miniblind/shutters, skylight, mirror closet drs, newer roof, newer landscaping. Relax in leafy backyrd. close to everywhere–downtown restaurants, light rail and train station, high tech companies/google/facebook. .Ready to move in!

Yet another house in Mountain View, but this one has a “bunus”!  It’s right here in Picture #21.  We had to use a different Red Arrow, because while we were busy finding housing fail, Aviary went and dumped its Advanced Suite of Red Arrow Drawing Tools.

Yes, we found a real Dude Hanging Out, plus flash in the mirror.

Maybe if the agent goes back and takes this picture again, from an angle with no DHO and no flash, the house will go Pending in a day.  After all, LOCATION!LOCATION!LOCATION!

Gosh, they raised the price two weeks after listing it, too!  Doing everything right like this should make this house as popular as Bill Clinton at a haiku convention.

People sometime ask me, “How is the real estate market in Silicon Valley?”

Well, let’s look at this e-mail I got recently:

Townhouses across the street from train tracks, light rail, a high way, and a major road – starting at $624 per square foot?

If you ask me, the market is doing pretty darn well. Everything is back on track, just as nature intended. Finally the Real Bay Area is back on track to eventually overtaking lesser places like Manhattan, London, and Tokyo for most expensive real estate.

The real question is: will you be lining up for 3 days or 3 weeks on the street to get one of these units?

Thank goodness!

What’s that?  Burbed readers want to know about more houses close to Google?  Then you’ll have many thanks for Burbed reader mabel du, with this momentous manse in Mountain View. And it was submitted along with a Guest Post to go with it.  Oh, you can’t buy this house.  It’s Pending.  We told you: Mountain View is hot, hot, hot!  So thanks for getting us all excited for nothing.

Please give mabel du a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome as today’s Guest Blogger!

152 THOMPSON Ave
Mountain View, CA  94043
$819,000

BEDS:  3
BATHS:  2
SQ. FT.:  1,280
$/SQ. FT.:  $640
LOT SIZE:  5,300 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Modern/High Tech
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT:  1955
COMMUNITY:  Thompson
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81221321
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN:  19 days

Charming, updated home in Monta Loma. Close to Downtown Mountain View, Palo Alto & Google. Light filled living room with hardwood floors and fire place. Spacious updated kithen with view of back yard and open to the dinning area. Beautifully landscaped yard with pavers, great for entertaining. Master bedroom with hardwood floors, updated bath and the view of the back yard. Just move in and enjoy.

Yipppee!  Another entry from Monta Loma.  Don’t know where that is???  Here’s all you need to know:   “Close to Palo Alto, Google and other companies.“

F@#k Mountain View!  This house is sooooo close to the land of your dreams:  Utopia, fairies & unicorns.  And it comes with a free choo-choo just yards away.  And by ‘yards’ I mean a mere 4 houses or about 200′.   Wait a sec, my math is off…  First you have to hop over Central Expressway (not so expressy at 8:00am or 5:00pm, tho), then you get your choo-choo.

 

Please allow me to translate realtor-speak “Beautifully landscaped yard with pavers, great for entertainment“ = There’s not one f@#king blade of grass.  Just what every family with kids or pets desires – warm, inviting bricks to play on.  Better stock up on band aids for the skinned knees, and plastic glassware when you entertain on your new, cold, hard reality  (tho, it’ll be about 110* in the summer on that heat sink).

 

 “… and the view of the back yard.”  Nothing is more comforting than staring out a window at an expanse of pavers.  Why not just move into a condo?  You’d have numerous options to select from in Utopia Palo Alto.  Well… there must be at least a couple PA condo options for $819k.

 

I don’t have time for a full rant about “updated bath“ other than:  Two bathrooms, two pedestal sinks…  I can hear the ghosts of Christmas past yelling “Great!  Where’s the f@#king extra roll of toilet paper???”

 

All this for not so much money in the RBA.  Wait…  is Mountain View even in the RBA anymore?  According to this realtor, not so much.  F@#k Mountain View, all you Googlers who really want to live in PA!  

Have you ever realized that you aren’t spending enough of your time parking all of your cars?  Why not buy a house that fixes that terrible lack in your life?  After all, pure parking pleasure requires just the right property, and perhaps this is the perfect palace!  Thanks much to Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater for this beauty of a building in Belmont!

820 EL CAMINO REAL
Belmont, CA 94062
$669,000, reduced from $709,000

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 2,200
$/SQ. FT.: $304
LOT SIZE: 3,250 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
STORIES: 2
VIEW: City Lights
COMMUNITY: Belmont Country Club
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81211546
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 76 days

Single family home locate on commercial zoon, city may allow home office use for light industry. Interest party need to confirm with city ordiance. 3 bedroom 2 bath upstairs (one master), two additioanal bedroom 1 bath downstairs done with permit. Spacious garage park up to 4 cars tandem.

Today’s featured house convenient to, well, everything (how much more central can you get than the Street of Kings?).  Plus, by only including one photo the agent has made it easy for you to review this listing as quickly as possible.  Not only that, this house is even more Special than you think.  It’s been on Burbed before!

Wow, you can buy it for less than its 2009 asking price, despite it being in the middle of a red-hot market.  And that’s an old asking price, because the home was delisted the day before it appeared here back in 2009. 

Also we just had to sneak in this really old listing picture from when it sold in 2000.  For $535,000.  Think of how much this place is really worth now!  And there’s more good news!  The Redfin agent has done the legwork so you don’t have to.

This location is perfect.  If you don’t already have four cars, step next door and buy them.

Don’t like what they’re selling next door?  No problem at all!  Just head across the street to the CalTrain station and check out what’s chillin’.

Look, you’re a busy person.  This house has a four car garage.  That works out to 25 years per covered parking space.  Now that’s a DEAL.

Let’s have another look at Los Gatos, as it’s one of those Real Bay Area cities.  You can tell it is when you see a property listed for twice as much as it sold for in the bubblicious days of 2005.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for this peerless property.

138 SMITH RANCH Ct
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$888,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2.5
SQ. FT.: 1,582
$/SQ. FT.: $561
HOA DUES: $85/month 
LOT SIZE: 3,484 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 2
YEAR BUILT: 2005
COMMUNITY: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81211027
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 31 days

Beautiful 7 yr new home walking distance to Courtside, Netflix, LG trails, restaurants and shopping within Los Gatos school district. Regular sale, shows like a model, with high ceilings, recessed lights, granite kitchen & stainless appliances, hardwood floors in the family room/kitchen areas. Large, bright master with over sized tub and walk in closet. Private back yard and large 2 car garage.

Note the HOA fees prominently listed next to key features such as size of the house, size of the lot, and how many beds and baths.  When did Redfin start doing that?

Now here’s what nomadic had to say about the house.

Purchased two weeks ago at foreclosure (auction?) for $730k and now listed for a lucky $888k to cash in on $158k of instant equity!  It’s on a postage stamp lot that backs up to the 85 off ramp at Winchester.  The most recent sales on the street were in June 2010 for $460/sf, but those were about 1/3 larger – maybe the price isn’t as ridiculous as it seems…

Let’s see if Zillow agrees with “ridiculous.”

Um…whoa.  Those ZEstimates are all OVER the place.  And the “bunus” is the railroad tracks (shown as the dashed line) that run behind the homes across the street, the cherry on top of the awesome sauce that is Winchester plus the freeway ramp.

What do you think this home should sell for?  What do you think this home should sell now that you know it has “corporate ownership” plus “agent has financial interest”?  Usually corporate ownership means you’re looking at an REO, but in this case the place is owned by “Petwun LLC,” and the agent is the “manager” of said entity.

Real estate is a great investment that can pay you to live in your house.  That is, it pays you to live in your house if you rent some of it out.  Here’s an investment opportunity too good to miss from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer.

3799 PARK Blvd
Palo Alto, CA 94306
$1,149,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 2,236
$/SQ. FT.: $514
LOT SIZE: 6,930 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 2
YEAR BUILT: 1979
COMMUNITY: Ventura
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81207935
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 30 days

Duplex home set up as a two separate units of 1,100sq feet each rents for $1,950. 1 level is a 2 bedrooms/2 baths and the other unit is a 1 bedroom/1 bath rents for $1,500 on a month to month. 1 car garage is rented for $100 a month. Home can be shown by appt only every TuesdayRight fence to be fixed before close of escrow.

The market is hot, hot, HOT here at Ground Zero of the Google-Facebook Nexus.  I don’t understand why this one hasn’t been snatched up yet.

Any ideas why some dot.com entrepreneur hasn’t moved into one unit, rented out the other, did some internets magic in this amazing Garage, and raked in the Profit?

Is it because the listing copy has even Redfin too befuddled to compute a rent ratio?

If we just add up all the dollar amounts mentioned above, we get $1149000 / ($1950 + $1500 + $100) * 12 = 26.97.  That ratio would say “RENT!” anywhere but in Palo Alto.  Here, just getting the privilege to bid on a neglected rental property in a dynamic neighborhood right on the cusp of High Speed Rail is such an honor, the agent won’t show you the inside.  Even though today is Tuesday.

Let’s finish out our workweek with a magnificent Menlo Park manse, courtesy of Burbed reader Moxie Girl.  And fortunately, Moxie has enough to say about this luscious listing that she’s sitting in as today’s Guest Blogger.

So please give her a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome and enjoy this Burbed Guest Post!

1427 GARWOOD Way (Unable to map)
Menlo Park, CA 94025
$699,950

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2.5
SQ. FT.: 1,655
$/SQ. FT.: $423
LOT SIZE: 4,503 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 2000
COMMUNITY: Middlefield to El Camino
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81207110
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 13 days

Fantastic like new 3BD/2.5BA for under $700,000 in Menlo Park. Spacious living area, hardwood floors, crown molding, new paint & carpets and beautiful kitchen wih granite counter top tiles, walk in pantry. Private yard with deck & grass area. Close to downtown. Price is right!

I found another gem. This one is based in Menlo Park, for which I have deep affection, having worked and briefly rented there for some years. But hold the train (literally), folks, here is an RBA winner. Now this is clearly a steal: RBA real estate in the highly desired downtown Menlo Park area, and such a bargain it’s priced for $699,950, which just squeaks by at $50 under $700,000. But how can this be, you ask? Surely nothing in the desirable 94025 zip code can be for sale for such a ridiculously low price! Au contraire, mon ami.

Now, the first glaring bit of information that is odd is the “unable to map” in the header line of the address. Clearly the real estate agent thinks savvy buyers are incapable of mapping the true address of this property.

Luckily for us, one of Redfin’s cracking real estate team does note from a tour last September that the property is literally next door to a PG&E power facility. AND, based on the Google map…within about 20 steps of Caltrain train tracks. That’s right. Southern view/bedroom window: power facility; eastern view/from front door: gravelly train tracks. So you’ll be humming and/or rattling to your heart’s content as you revel in the fact that you are now living in the sought-after 94025 zip code you always longed for.

Well played, “Eliz. Bianchini, Coldwell Banker-Woodside” (from Redfin listing). Can we really trust someone to publish correct information about a listing when she can’t be bothered to fully spell out her first name? Just wondering.

We appreciate listing copy that tells it like it is.  Don’t let frank talk like this scare you: this is an opportunity!  And you can’t beat the price. Thanks to Michael Boltonestater for this palace of possibilities in Palo Alto!

Update 3/7/2012: Added additional comments from Gallileo, who also sent this house in.

3370 PARK Blvd
Palo Alto, CA 94306
$508,888

BEDS: 1
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 928
$/SQ. FT.: $548
LOT SIZE: 5,684 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Cottage/Bungalow
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1928
COMMUNITY: Ventura
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81203012
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 33 days

Perfect for the client looking for an opportunity to get into the Palo Alto market at the low end – to use their own talents to develop. This property has been abandoned for years and all of the structures are in deplorable condition. Located in a very convenient neighborhood of nice homes.

Whoa, that is one friendly looking house.  I bet all the neighborhood kids play here, or at least dare each other to step on the lawn.  Here’s what Gallileo had to say about the place:

A house in Palo Alto for Not a Lot of Money

Palo Alto finally goes affordable! Yes, you too can buy a house for not a lot of money. You only need 100K down and your Facebook salary will cover that without even waiting for the IPO.

Sure, the house has been abandoned for years and all the structures are in deplorable condition, but with a little draino and a couple of light-bulbs (total cost: $47.98), you’ll be right back enjoying that 7% annual appreciation that everyone in this most real of the real bay area gets. 94306 never left the RBA! Its even close to public transportation–very public transportation.

Oh come on, everyone loves trains!  Now let’s have a good look at that very convenient neighborhood.

Convenient all right!  Walk to the Mercedes dealer… and Fry’s! Plus “bunus” PG&E substation across the street.

We’ve done with our whirlwind tour of the cheapest home in every Bay Area County (plus Santa Cruz).  But what about our favorite cities?  We can’t leave them without a big ol’ Burbed hug! 

Go West, young man, west of San Jose over to the delightful city of Santa Clara!  Don’t get lost, now, because when you go West in San Jose, that means taking 101 or 280 NORTH.  But don’t actually go North.  You’ll end up in Alviso, and we’re headed there another day.

Today: The Mission City!  Tomorrow: The World!  Muhahahaha!

1647 LAFAYETTE St, Santa Clara, CA 95050

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 988
$/SQ. FT.: $302
LOT SIZE: 9,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1920
COMMUNITY: Santa Clara
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81144289
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 47 days

Short Sale As Is with only one Lender. Nice floor plan with a large back yard. This charming home is a fixer upper, located in a central location of Santa Clara. Easy access to highways, Santa Clara University and within walking distance to the surrounding business places, shops & restaurants.

Don’t let that Pending status worry you, it’s Pending With Release!  That means you can slip in a non-contingent offer, even better if it’s all-cash.  But don’t plan on getting to see the inside until you take possession.  Here’s another view courtesy of Google.

And when the agent said centrally located, she wasn’t kidding!

Sold for $474K in 2003, that’s $175K in instant equity waiting for you!