Yesterday we featured a humongous three and a half million dollar spread on half an acre in San Jose. It was a block from the actual Rose Garden that gives the Rosegarden district its name, but still, San Jose. For three and a half million. Yeah, we don’t think it computes either, unless we want to talk Bay Area Bubble 4.0 some more.

Now, today’s property and its pricing won’t make your eyes pop out because it’s in the Real Bay Area! Let’s find out why it won’t sell!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for sending in this Real Realty Reject.

11860 FRANCEMONT Ave
Los Altos Hills, CA 94022
$3,999,000

6 Beds
6 Baths
5,250 Sq. Ft.
$762 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2006
Lot Size: 1 Acre
On Redfin: 387 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 3
Community: Los Altos Hills
MLS#: 81214828
Style: Mediterranean
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Property available at full price. Fabulous nearly new 5250 square foot home in a quiet cul-de-sac location on 1 acre with easy access and outstanding quality. Excellent floorplan with a huge kitchen/breakfast/family "Great Room" opening to a beautiful backyard. Luxurious master suite. Guest suite on main floor. Excellent Los Altos schools. 6 bedrooms, 6 baths.

Upcoming Open Houses

Saturday, May 18: 2:00-4:30 pm

First let’s check in with nomadic.

I sent this to a friend a few minutes ago before taking a good look at the listing copy and history.  This should go on burbed.  “Available at full price.”  It’s been on the market since November 2010 and went pending twice, failing to close both times.  The price has been raised at least twice in the past year – now up $700k from last April.

The icing?  It’s an REO.

Well, it doesn’t say it’s an REO in the listing, but the history admits to a foreclosure back in June. June, 2010.  But still, compare this property to yesterday’s! It’s on a full acre instead of a half, it’s got an extra bed and bath, and it’s in the RBA! All this for just “not a lot of money” more! Yet it’s been a languishing listing for at least a year, and that doesn’t even cover all that time before it went pending twice.

Why didn’t this place sell? There are definitely homes in this price range on this street.  Maybe this comment on short sales from a local Realtor might explain things:

The only active short sale in Los Altos Hills, located on Francemont, has been on and off the market since 2006. While it’s a nice house, it has had many offers and still seems to be having trouble closing. It’s unusual for any home to remain on the market so long. In my opinion this is an issue with the bank and not the home.

And the owner of the home is… BAC Home Loans Servicing, through ReconTrust! Thanks a lot, B of A! We all know it really stands for Bunch of A-holes.

Bunus: Virtual tour guaranteed to give you motion sickness.

As we move Into the second week of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, we note that some letters are Indeed more Inconsiderable than others. We Imagined X to Induce Irritation. But what’s a good I for a Bay Area place name? There’s the Irvington district of Fremont, but we’ve been showing Fremont waaaaaay too much Burbed love lately.

Fortunately, an Inch further north Inducts more I’s without Invading Sonoma County. Yes, I is for Inverness.  And a few other Items. 

12641 Sir Francis Drake Blvd
Inverness, CA 94937
$519,750

4 Beds
3 Baths
1,939 Sq. Ft.
$268 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1977
Lot Size: 3.13 Acres
On Redfin: 1 day
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Inverness
MLS#: 21307625
Style: Contemporary
View: Bay, Hills
County: Marin

Bank Owned Bargain! Classic views of Tomales Bay and the countryside beyond from this two level home with three beds and two baths upstairs, and one bed, bath and living room downstairs with separate entrance. Don’t miss the loft storage areas too! Nestled on over three acres, this home needs a little TLC to be a perfect retreat, ideally located near the Point Reyes National Seashore. Don’t miss out on this wonderful opportunity!

Ideally located! But when the front Image Is of anything other than the Indicated Inhabitance, there’s a reason for the Inhibition. And speaking of the Impossible to Itemize letter X, just look what’s In the sky In both these Images.

Do you need more Impetus to buy this house Immediately? The Zestimate is $962K, while eppraisal comes In at an Illustrious $1.15 million!

Inquire now and Indulge In the Instant equity for Infinity!

Today is the first day of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, so we’ll Abjure their Authorized Arms And Affirm our Abecedarian Attempt. And we Aspire to give A tip of the Aviator’s cap to Arlee Bird for Activating this Affair, with over 1700 blogs Associated!  Most All of them Aren’t in the Real Bay Area, so while we Advocate your Auditing Any and All, you Aren’t Accountable to Acquire Any properties.

We’re delighted to be part of this Amazing Alliance!  Now on to today’s Apt Acreage.

6792 ALMADEN Rd
San Jose, CA 95120
$865,000

5 Beds
3 Baths
2,704 Sq. Ft.
$320 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1969
Lot Size: 7,169 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 13 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County": Santa Clara
Stories: 2
Community: Almaden Valley
MLS#: 81308508

Large 5 bedroom Almaden home with swimming pool, corner lot. Top Almaden Schools: Graystone, Bret Harte & Leland. Property is Lender-Owned, being sold "AS-IS, " US Bank makes no representations or warranties. US Bank financing available. All US Bank loans to be approved by US Bank. .

US Bank may make no representations, but we Aim to. Zillow says this house is worth $1.1 million, which might Account for why the bank sat on its collective Ass for An Absolute Annum After they foreclosed. That means $250 thousand of Alleged instant equity for you, the buyer! What Are you Anticipating?  You Assume every listing has an Attractive Appearance by Instagram?

Arrive in your Automobile, And Ask your Agent to Arrange for An Attractive Advance deposit! Actung!  This Allotment is still Active! And that Aerial Aspect sure is Attractive!  Remember, Abode, Address, Area!

And… do you think we’re going to Adjust the daily Alphabet in All of the 25 Afterward Articles? Absolutely not. April Fool!

Who’s priced out forever, and getting more priced out by the minute in Bay Area Bubble 4.0?  Not you! Not when you check out this completely affordable home in Oakmmphf CLOSE TO SAN FRANCISCO. Heck, you could pick up this sweet little lodging on your way home from the grocery store.  Well, you could if there were a grocery store anywhere near it.

Undisclosed Address
Oakland, CA 94621
$133,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
997 Sq. Ft.
$133 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1905
Lot Size: 3,200 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 4 days
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Alameda
Style: Victorian
Community: E Oakland
MLS#: 40607349

Great 3 bedroom / 1 bath home with Tall ceilings! (Public records 2bd/1ba buyer to verify all property information) Spacious family room. Large eat-in kitchen w/ tile flooring. Spacious bath with tiled flooring. Homepath and Homeapth Renovation Approved!

Again with the undisclosed addresses?  Burbed laughs at the idea and discloses them.  We know how to use… teh Google!

2070 85TH AVE
OAKLAND, CA 94621
$133,000

Single Res | 2 beds | 1 baths | 997 sq. ft. | 3200 acres | 17 days on market | MLS# 40607349
Active
Price : $133,000
Bathrooms : 1
List Date : 03/04/2013
Approx Square Feet : 997
Listed Days Back : 17
Price per sq. ft : $133
County : Alameda
Approx Lot Feet : 3200
Location : 2070 85TH AVE, OAKLAND, CA 94621
Approx Lot Acres : 0.073
MLS# : 40607349
Approx age : 108
Status : New-REO
Homeowner`s Association Fee : -1 / n/a

Anyone know the difference between Homepath and Homeapth Renovation? Don’t ask Redfin. This is below their minimum commission.

That’s right, who doesn’t love a pink house?  Especially a pink house in San Jose!  How about East San Jose, because that’s what Burbed reader Tracy Tea House has found for us.  And once more, you are TOO LATE.  Seriously, would you get off your butt and buy another house? Do you want to be PRICED OUT FOREVER in Bubble 4.0?

50 PICKFORD Ave
San Jose, CA 95127
Listed for $324,950
Sold for $391,000 on 11/28/2012

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,381 Sq. Ft.
$283 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1930
Lot Size: 10,000 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Nov 28, 2012
Status: Sold
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: Craftsman
Community: Alum Rock
MLS#: 81239001

BANK OWNED REO! Excellent opportunity to own a home with lots of upside potential. Property has two garages, both have had permits pulled but never finaled. Property needs lots of work and is to be sold in its present “AS IS” condition. Home is in fairly good condition inside but you will need to replace some doors and windows. Some kitchen appliances are missing.

Opportunity! Potential! Fairly good condition! Unfinaled permits! Bank Owned REO! (What other kinds of REO are there?) What are you waiting for, don’t walk, don’t run, rent a helicopter and FLY over there right now!  Let’s listen in on Tracy’s nomination speech:

Pink and dismal. So much more than “some of the appliances are missing.” How about the sheet rock? Stinking Pink, tiny halls, open toilets, this bank owned house has it all.

Is this the “RBA?” I like the three pictures of the street in the wild west of East San José.

Wild West is right, they even show the broken windows.  We don’t know where Tracy got the above shot because it’s not on Redfin, and ZipRealty wanted us to sign in (As If, ZipR!)

Enjoy the pictures.  We included a bunch, because we never know when some real estate site will make us sign in.  The street, the open toilet, and many more right after the break.

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We’ve been spending too much time in Santa Clara County, which means we’re forgetting about the other eight counties in the Bay Area.  So let’s head north for today’s front-page feature.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tom Paine for this deep subject.

4291 Gravenstein Highway S
Sebastopol, CA 95472

Listed for $535,800 on 2/1/12
Several price cuts, to $315K on 10/19
Sold for $310,000 on 11/8/12

BANK OWNED
1 Story Detached
3 bedrooms
2 bathrooms
2,535 sq ft
3.45 acres
13 years old
15 Photos
Style: Ranch
Lot Size: 3.45 ac
Mortgage Payment: $1,114/mo
Taxes –
Year Built: 1999
Subdivision: Sebastopol
Stories: 1
MLS #21202510
WalkScore™:18

Nice piece of property on 3.4 acres. Cash only buyers. No financing. Serious defects include well contamination, rotted foundation and extensive wood rot.

Here’s why Tom thought this nowhere-near-the-Real Bay Area estate deserved to be all tarted up on Burbed:

Think of enjoying the beautiful views in the morning, sipping that cup of extra flavorful coffee and smelling the sweet scent of rot. And you get that special REO deed that doesn’t guarantee title as a bonus!

Can’t imagine why this didn’t sell faster.  Nothing is more authentically Marin than extensive wood rot.  But you get all this prestige at a Sonoma County price (complete with a Sonoma County address)!

This is also one of those listings we had to play Where’s Waldo with, because it didn’t show up on Redfin or several others.  Plus it had different listing copy with fewer but blurrier photos on Zillow:

4291 Gravenstein Hwy S
Sebastopol, CA 95472
Not for Sale

Zestimate $392,863
Rent Zestimate $2,458/mo
Est. Mortgage $1,371/mo

Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sqft: 2,535
Lot: 150,282 sq ft / 3.45 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1999
Fireplace: Yes
County: Sonoma
Legal description: MAP D5 151
Parcel #: 062240030
Per floor sqft: 2,535
Total rooms: 7
# Stories: 1.0
Unit cnt: 1
Zillow Home ID: 15806148

Excellent country estate on over 3.4 acres. Home features tile entry, large living area with fireplace & fish tank, granite counter tops & island in kitchen, oversized master bedroom w/sitting area. Outside kitchen with built-in BBQ. Fantastic views of pastures, hills and seasonal creek. Pre qual with BOFA required on all offers. Cash buyers are subject to Deed restriction.

Bunus: Check out the listing history!

Can you judge a book by its cover?  You’re going to have to if you’re interested in this beauty in Belmont!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader alyson for sending this foreclosed fortress in.

612 Hiller St
Belmont, CA 94002 
Price:  $624,900

Loan Payment:  $2,094/mo
Bedrooms:  3
Bathrooms:  2
Size:  1,970 sqft
$/Sqft:  $317/sqft
Type:  Single Family House
Year Built:  1953
Lot Size:  7,072
Days on Movoto:  15 days
MLS#:  81239349
Status:  Pending – Do Not Show
Go See This Home Make an Offer

Great opportunity to own a home in Belmont! Walking distance to schools, shopping and easy freeway access. This is great for 1st time buyers or investors. Only cash buyers for this property, the buyer(s) are to take possession with the occupant(s) in possession. There will be NO interior inspections for this property, only drive by.*** DO NOT DISTURBE THE OCCUPANT(S) *** Thank You.

Here’s why alyson sent us this listing:

“great for 1st time buyers” but you can only drive by before buying!

Who says you can only drive by?  You have many other options!  You could also walk by, jog by, bike by, skateboard by, rollerblade by, or wait for the next snowstorm and cross-country ski by.

Also, if you’re really feeling adventurous, you could descend down the chimney wearing a cable harness like in Mission: Impossible, to avoid the laser-activated alarms this house is obviously secured by.  That’s why there’s no photos inside.

We do like how Movoto encourages us to Go See This Home when the listing copy tells us we can’t.

Bunus: Home sold for $640K in… 2004!

Our pleas have been heard!  A couple of weeks ago, when posting the nine kajillionth house in Mountain View “close to Google,” we asked for homes that were not in the hot, hot, hot Mountain View/Palo Alto area.  And Burbed reader JL has delivered, with this attractive attached abode in Alameda.  Yes, Alameda, as in the island in Alameda County.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you about this one, because we certainly did.

2909 BAYVIEW Dr
Alameda, CA 94501
$465,000

4 Beds
2 Baths
1,716 Sq. Ft.
$271 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1964
Lot Size: 3,051 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 10 days
Type: Duet
Stories: 2
Community: Alameda
MLS#: 40590093
Style: Contemporary
View: Water
County: Alameda

Open – Sunday, Sept 23rd, 2 – 3 pm only. A 4 bedroom single-family attached home situated on a quiet lagoon, close to the beach and walking path. TLC needed for this contemporary home.

So far, nothing too alarming here, other than this “duet home” having a garage door face-off.  One looks like a paint sampler and one doesn’t.  One has a peaked roof feature and one doesn’t.  The windows and shutters aren’t matched either.

Guess our standards shouldn’t be so high when buying a house directly from the bank instead of through a pesky owner.

So first, let’s first admire that Water view we were promised.

Delightful!  Ready to see the inside of the house?  Sure you are.  You may need to take a minute to adjust your eyes from the bright sun glinting off the water.  We’ll give you a brief rest by making you click through to see them, and many more pictures!

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Here’s a cheery news item, submitted by Burbed reader wahnny.

Silicon Valley’s Boom Creates Shortage of $1 Million Homes

Published: Wednesday, 29 Aug 2012 | 10:22 AM ET
By: Robert Frank, CNBC Reporter & Editor

The home of venture capitalist Kelly Porter in Los Altos, photo, right.

The capital of high tech is now the capital of high-priced real estate.

Silicon Valley currently leads the nation in the number of homes sold for $1 million or more, according to Realtytrac. Sales of $1 million-plus have more than doubled in many communities in the Valley this year, toppling longtime luxury real-estate leaders like Beverly Hills or Miami.

Topping the list is Saratoga, Calif., in Santa Clara County, which had 225 homes sold for $1 million or more. That marked a 162 percent increase over last year.

Ranked second was Burlingame, Calif., which had 211 sales of at least $1 million, more than double last year’s rate. Cupertino and Los Altos ranked third and fourth in the nation, with 175 homes and 170 homes respectively.

Booyah!  We lead the nation in million dollar homes.  Sayonara, Scarsdale!  Meet you later, Miami gator!  Buh-bye, Beverly Hills!  Buh-… there’s just one problem with this article.

CNBC is comparing Silicon Valley to other “longtime luxury real-estate leaders.”  And up there on millionaire’s row is… Cupertino?  That’s not exactly the first town that comes to mind when we think “palatial estate.”

We don’t think this CNBC reporter understands the Real Bay Area.  Any region can feature a town full of luxury homes, towns like Atherton or Hillsborough, only somewhere that isn’t very Special.  You can find some real big, expensive estates in cities such as Bloomfield Hills, Michigan (boyhood home of Mitt Romney), or Winnetka, Illinois, or Greenwich, Connecticut.  Or Beverly Hills.

But only in the Real Bay Area can you find crappy houses for a million dollars.  Observe.

First, we look at Saratoga, since there were so many million dollar homes on the list they couldn’t find one to feature in the article (they just noted you could buy 1.2 acres with no house for more than a mill).  Find out what that same price gets you with a house… after the break.

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Ever thought about building you very own family compound?  Now you can!  These neighboring homes are for sale, so why not buy both?  Thanks very much to Burbed reader amer_icongrl for sending us these San Mateo specials.  And we promise, these are Real Special.

3815 EDISON St
San Mateo, CA 94403
$599,000

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 1,040
$/SQ. FT.: $576
LOT SIZE: 5,490 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1946
COMMUNITY: Westwood Knolls
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81222217
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 5 days

CHARMING WESTWOOD KNOLLS HOME! LOCATED ON THE WORLD RENOWN SAN FRANCISCO PENINSULA, WITHIN MINTUES FROM SCHOOLS, SHOPPING CENTERS, TRANSPORTATION AND THE SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT! THIS HOME FEATURES GLEAMING HARDWOOD FLOORS, AN UPDATED EAT IN KITCHEN WITH GRANITE COUNTER TOPS, FRENCH DOORS LEADING OUT TO A PRIVATE PATIO AND AN ATTACHED GARAGE! HURRY! THIS HOME WON’T LAST LONG!

..but wait, there’s more!

3821 EDISON St
San Mateo, CA 94403
$596,600

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 1,040
$/SQ. FT.: $574
LOT SIZE: 5,490 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1946
COMMUNITY: Westwood Knolls
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81219113
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 27 days

Great starter home on the west side featuring two bedrooms and one bath. Nice large deck, yard, views and more. This is your oppportunity. .. don’t miss it

We’ve got plenty about both houses… after the break.

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