Let’s check in with Burbed reader J from Alameda, who seems to be spending a lot of time not in Alameda of late.  Once more J has a house for us in Walnut Creek. Is it Burbed-worthy?  You know the answer!

2215 Buena Vista Ave
Walnut Creek, CA 94597
$599,000

(Overlook)

4 bedrooms
2 full bathrooms
1,416 sqft
Single-Family Home
For Sale / Resale
$2,682 / mo
20 Days on Trulia
476 views
Bungalow Architecture
Heating: Gas
Lot Size: 6,860 sqft
Built in 1930
Neighborhood: Overlook
MLS/Source ID: 81314840
Zip: 94597
1,416 sqft

2215 Buena Vista Ave Built in the 30?s this charming four bedroom home is in the process of being highly updated throughout property inside and out. Buyer can choose colors if upgrade work has not begun. Walk to BART, freeway around the corner and other amenities.

Well, we thought where it says Overlook up top that was an order. But J sent it in to us anyway. Here’s why, despite it being in the East Bay and everything:

More freeway! At least the agent almost told the truth – Joe says the freeway is around the corner but it’s really across the street. Of the 16 listings photos how many are the same? Finally, no inside pictures? I want to see the freeway view!

Your wish is granted.  That’s the streetview from the house.  Bunus: trash bins!

We apologize for not using Redfin today (that’s what J sent in) but they occasionally take their system down when we’re writing, so we had to give someone else a turn.  So helloooooooooo Trulia! Also this is another chance to complain about Redfin not linking to our posts anymore.

Oh, and we counted up the photos. We think there are only actually 3 of them.

But you can choose your colors if you hurry!

After wasting everyone’s time far far away from the RBA yesterday, the least we can do is finish strong for the week.  And what could be stronger than a house full of curb appeal for an amazing low price?  How about a house full of Burbed appeal for an amazing price you can’t have, because the listing got canceled?  We’ll leave it to you to figure out if this is a new way to say Pending/Do Not Show.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Dr. Jim for sending this one in.

3284 Ramona St
Palo Alto, CA 94306
$1,449,000

Loan Payment:  $4,966/mo
Bedrooms:  3
Bathrooms:  2
Size:  1,601 sqft
$/Sqft:  $905/sqft
Type:  Single Family House
Year Built:  1950
Lot Size:  6,250
Days on Movoto:  38 days
Neighborhood:  Midtown
MLS#:  81237014
Status:  Cancelled

Great Location Midtown home on one of the most saught after street in Palo Alto, home has good bones and sq ft. Bring your imagination to make this your dream home with few upgrades, North East facing lot with lots of sun light. Walking distance to El Carmelo Elem and JL Stanford middle.

The house has good bones, which you can dig up in the back yard.

And it also has sq. ft., namely 1601 of them.  But that’s not why Dr. Jim brought this princely palace to our attention:

Midtown Palo Alto crapshack for $1.45 million. And horrible ad copy to boot!

Oh dear, has Dr. Jim no poetry in his soul? Doesn’t he understand you have to to bring your imagination to make this your dream home with few upgrades?  And if you want a dream home with many upgrades, you should bring your stock portfolio.

Seriously, does nothing please you people?  It’s on a North East facing lot with lots of sun light.  That’s like two lots in one in only 6,250 sq. ft. to go with the good bones.

Bunus: The toilet is so awesome they show it twice.  Check it for additional good bones.

Mor Bunus: Check out the Movoto logo in the listing above.  The graphic designer let us know exactly what s/he thinks of the house!

If you’re looking for a house, or simply enjoy looking at houses, sometimes you may think that they all are starting to look alike. (Well, except for yesterday’s featured folly.)  Today we find out it’s true, courtesy of Burbed reader Dr. Jim.  The doctor is in, and he wants this Los Altos Hills listing to say “Ahh, instant equity!”

27540 Sherlock Rd
Los Altos, CA 94022
$1,649,000

Zestimate® $1,655,794
Est. Mortgage $5,754/mo
Beds: 4
Baths: 3
Sqft: 2,056
Lot: 119,790 sq ft / 2.75 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1952
On Zillow: 130 days
MLS #: 81219574
View Virtual Tour (opens new tab)

Private Retreat on 2.75 Acres with views out to the Bay! 2 level home with opportunity to remodel or expand. Wrap around front deck showcasing the view, paneled cathedral ceilings with exposed beams, spacious rear deck and patio with spa and fire pit. 4.2 kW solar panels (6400 kWh per year) supply much of the home’s electricity & heat the hot tub. Excellent Los Altos schools!

Since we had to showcase one property, we chose the 540.  Any listing that doesn’t lead with the front of the house must have a problem somewhere.  It’s peppered with photos (like these) that we suspect are not to be found anywhere on those 2.75 acres.

Now here’s what the doc had to say about this precious pair of properties:

I’m still enjoying Burbed immensely.

Here are a couple of listings in Los Altos Hills that use the same picture for the purported view.  Perhaps we should cut the realtor some slack because the street name is the same. 

However, he is looking at $100k in commission for these two babies, so I’m not cutting him any slack!  I think the street name is very appropriate, given my incisive powers of observation!

No ship, Sherlock! Click on either picture to observe the Zillow listings for yourself.  The photos are #13 for 27223 and #10 for 27540.  Also the former had a $100K haircut so far.  Just sayin’.

We note a couple other curiosities besides the matching photos (which may not be on either property).

1. According to Redfin, these properties are in Los Altos Hills.  But the Zillow entry states they are in Los Altos.  One of them rejects your realty and subdivides its own!

2. Speaking of Redfin, only 27223 is listed, and the duplicate photo has mysteriously been removed from the collection.  27540 is not to be confused with 27640 Sherlock Court. (which looks like it needs a big ol’ Burbed hug of its own someday).

Today’s fistful of awesome in Alum Rock is brought to you by Burbed reader Tracy Tea House. Thanks very much for this foothill find!

15865 East Alta Vista Way
San Jose – East Valley, CA 95127
$499,000

3 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 1 partial bath, 1,570 square feet, Single Family
Lot Size: 15,794 Sq. Ft.
Year Built: 1950
Days on ZipRealty: 34
Listed: 08/09/12
Price/sq ft: $318
Estimated Monthly Payment: $1,737
Neighborhood: East Foothills
School District: Alum Rock Union Elementary School District, East Side Union High School District
Source: MLSListings Inc.
MLS #: 81229860
Views: 61
Popularity: 8
Walk Score®: 9

Large yard w/deck & view of downtown SJ & Silicon Valley — marvelous! Newly improved driveway. Home is in move-in condition. Bonus room could be 3rd bedroom. Shows well. Level site on lot. Quiet residential hillside neighborhood is minutes away from shopping & parks. Not a through street — EAST Alta Vista Way has only a few (somewhat enormous) houses on it. Enjoy the view!

And here’s why Tracy chose this house out of thousands just for you!

Near a few enormous houses.  Truly poor photography. Value fail, great list copy.

What are you talking about?  This is great photography!  Do you have any idea how hard a photographer has to work to compose images like these?  Anyone can take pictures of a house, but this?  This transcends the artform by questioning its purpose.

For example, is the front of that fireplace actually carpeted?  Or is it a ginormous piece of hard candy?  Only a truly gifted photographer could make you wonder like that.

And instant equity galore!  Just check out the price history!  In no time flat the market’s going to heat up to eleven and every property price in this county will double in eleven minutes.  Yes, you read it here first.  The Real Bay Area is back, it’s booming, and it’s bettuh than evuh!

It’s been too long since we’ve checked in with Burbed reader Tracy Tea House and her amazing collection of what-the-heck-is-THATs from the East Side. 

Today she’s back with another San Jose special for all you would-be Silicon Valley millionaires, but this one’s on the other side of the Valley.  Tracy likes Trulia for all her househunting needs, so let’s check in with them.

1454 Bing Drive Bing Drive
San Jose CA 95129
$998,000

Bedrooms: 4 24 days on Trulia
Bathrooms: 2 
Property type: Single-Family Home
Size: 1,650 sqft
Lot: 6,098 sqft
Price/sqft: $605/sqft
Year built: 1965
MLS/ID: 81224226
Zip: 95129
Listing agent: Michelle Carr-Crowe, ABR,ACRE,ALHS,ASP,CDPE,RECS,SRES, Top 5% US RE Agents
Broker: Just Call (408) 252-8900 Michelle Carr Crowe at Keller Williams Cupertino 

HURRY! Special Fourth of July HOT BUY! 1454 BING Dr., San Jose 95129, Open Sat. & Sun., 1:30-4:30 You and the people you care about are invited to see our HOT BUY! Effortless Elegance & Entertaining can Easily be Yours in this Lovely & Upgraded Lynbrook High Home. Featuring a Formal Foyer, Separate LR & FR & Skylight-Illuminated Dining, a Custom Tile & Oak Kitchen, 4 Light & Airy Bedrooms, and 2 Jaw-Droppingly Gorgeous Remodeled Baths, it all add up to Fabulous! Quality Upgrades include Dual Pane Windows, Copper Plumbing to the Main and Cement Tile Roof. COOL Central Air Conditioning, Wet

Put your best foot forward, invite the reader into your book with a great cover photo, you’ve got one chance to make a great first impression so always lead your listing with a terrific all-over picture of the house.  A photo of the house.  Not a photo of the flyer for the house.  Wow, this is worse than confusing Call by Name with Call by Value.  And in this listing the facade shot at left doesn’t appear until the fourth photo, but don’t worry, the agent put in another one right next to it in case you skip past.

See that green thing above the flyer and left of the price?  This property is “Active Contingent,” which means an offer was accepted but you just never know which contingency could derail the whole deal. That’s good news for you, because that means you can submit your own backup overbid!

For old times’ sake, head over to Redfin, where’ you’ll find:

• Different first photo, plus photos of school signs (this one is second)
• All home photos repeated
• But the street name isn’t
• Lot is 124 square feet smaller
• San Jose address in the “Cupertino” community (while being 1.1 miles from Cupertino)
• Pending Without Release (can’t figure out if that’s the same as Active Contingent since Redfin doesn’t define Without vs With Release)
• A Virtual Tour link!
• And different listing copy:

Effortless Elegance & Entertaining Can Be Yours! Fabulous Floor Plan Features Sep. LR & FR! Custom Tile & Oak Kit. Boasts Garden Window, Roll-Outs, Custom Details! Skylights! E-Z Care Laminate, Hardwood, Quality Carpet! E-Z Walk to Rainbow Park! E-Z Walk to Nat. -Recgnizd Cupertino Scls! Miller-API 981 & Lynbrook-API 943! Cool Central A/C + Private Hot Tub for Summer Family Fun!

It’s not enough to name the schools, now they also include the API scores. But the listing copy on Trulia is more deserving of the Burbed Seal of Approval.

Here’s another San Jose Special from one of our frequent correspondents, Burbed reader Tracy Tea House!  Thanks very much for this Berryessa beauty, which has been snapped up by some lucky buyer. 

11260 CANYON Dr
San Jose, CA 95127
Listed for $699,000; Sold for $640,000 on 6/16/2012

BEDS:  3
BATHS:  3
SQ. FT.:  2,952
$/SQ. FT.:  $217
LOT SIZE:  0.48 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT:  1964
COMMUNITY:  Berryessa
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81213632
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Sold

WOW!WHAT A GREAT VALUE * GORGEOUS SWEEPING VIEW OF THE GOLF COURSE AND CITY LIGHT * ENJOY IT ON THE LARGE DECK * PRIVATE POOL AREA * IN DOOR SAUNA ROOM * HUGE BED ROOMS * HUGE LIBRIRY AND OFFICE * SUPER PRIVATE AND SERENE LOCATION * SURROUNDED BY MULTI MILLION DOLLAR HOMES * 3 MUNITES DRIVING TO 680

Here’s what Tracy had to say when submitting this property to our attention:

Something is probably truly wrong with this house! But what? We fell in love with the massive decks, tiki torches, groovy pool, amazingly large rooms, with indoor sauna and all over swag. The tee is directly out the back door and people are literally hitting golf balls feet from the deck. I think my dogs would have gone crazy!

Now the down sides. Shorty short sale, the price is very, very low, considering, and there are water problems. Some obvious, but I suppose, some hidden much deeper, with the big hill above. The house was pending shortly after we looked at it, and fell out, so its back on the market. A true treasure? Or a California size boondoggle?

All this, and only 3 MUNITES DRIVING TO SAN JOSE.  Are MUNITES more or less time than MINTUES?  We know, the unit of time used on the WORLD RENOWN SAN FRANCISCO PENINSULA are MINTUES.  But if you know the way to San Jose, you can conquer both time and space.

Don’t believe us?  Look at all 25 pictures of this listing and figure out what’s missing.  Go ahead, we’ll wait.

Did you figure it out?  Here’s a hint, courtesy of teh Google.

Yes, 25 pictures (several of the same exact tree), and not one of what the house itself looks like.  No wonder you have to ENJOY IT ON THE DECK instead.  At least you would be SURROUNDED BY MULTI MILLION DOLLAR HOMES.

Um.  Thank you, Zillow.  Opportunities to play with the Red Arrows are always appreciated.

Too bad the realtard didn’t find a dictionary in the HUGE LIBRIRY.

It’s becoming more challenging to provide a good variety of listings on Burbed.  Readers from all over send in their nominations for housing fail.  We work our way through the inbox looking to produce a good mix of home types, locations, submitters, and price range.  Lately, by the time we’re ready to write up a reader-suggested domestic disaster, all traces of the listing have been removed from the MLS. 

Back in the post-bubble doldrums when sellers had to promise a years’ worth of weekly car waxes and grocery delivery, an accepted offer wouldn’t lead to the agent yanking photos and description.  So what’s happening now?  Listings are evaporating faster than a YouTube video with a DMCA takedown notice.  Is this just another sign that there’s so little inventory, the selling agents feel besieged?

Today’s featured property is a San Mateo teardown that didn’t collect any dust, courtesy of Burbed reader SMParkster.  And since Redfin’s removed the info, time to play eenie-meenie-miney-mo with the other real estate websites.  Today’s “winner” is Trulia, which we thank very much for taking their time.

249 West Poplar Avenue
San Mateo CA 94402
$2,250,000

Status: Pending
Bedrooms: 5
Bathrooms: 3
Property type: Single-Family Home
Size: 3,121 sqft
Lot: —
Price/sqft: $721/sqft
Year built: 1906
Added on Trulia: 18 days ago
Neighborhood: San Mateo Park
Zip: 94402

Absolutely spectacular estate in San Mateo Park. Sprawling lot size of 24,000 square feet. High-reaching palm trees and mature redwoods welcome guests as they approach the main house down a gently winding driveway. This truly unique offering has been carefully maintained by the same family for the last fifty years.

Here’s why SMParkster passed this carefully maintained winner along:

I walk past that property all the time and the lot is truly really nice, but the house is set back much much further than any other house in the neighborhood and I’ve always kind of wondered about the owners.

The MLS listing says the current owners have been there 50 years which doesn’t really surprise me.  I was just surprised that the asking price is about in line with what a decent house on that size lot would currently go for (I think) around here, but the house clearly needs either tearing down (what the real estate agent seems to be implying) or major updating at the very least.

More photos inside, so click on in!

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Today is the last entry of a string of hella fine housing from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer.  We hope you have enjoyed Petsmart Groomer week.  Next week we’ll return to a mix of properties from all over the Bay Area submitted by some of our other readers (if we still have any).

Many thanks again to Petsmart Groomer for all the finds, including this, um, place that’s been on Burbed twice already!  But you’d have to go all the back to 2008 to remember this one.  That was so long ago we were still using the MLS website for our listings!

And then we revisited the same house again three months later!

Now it’s back, and it’s better than EVEH!  You can find out how much better after the break!

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1500 ALTURAS Dr
Burlingame, CA 94010

$1,198,000

These days it’s so easy to become overexposed with all these social services like Youtwitface. Tumyambook or Xanga.

So I appreciate it when I see a listing with some restraint and privacy.

Just click through the 5 photos. Enjoy the zen of the slight tilt of angles. Ahhhh.

And that, my friends, is why this house is priced at $1.2 in Burlingame.

If you wanted to see “under the kimono” – well… maybe you’re looking in the wrong neighborhood, sailor!

Here comes a three day weekend!  So let’s travel a little further away from the US 101/I-280 Axis of Specialness, and see what’s over the mountains, through the woods, and down by the bay ocean.  Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night find.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader The Klek for this beachy little number for a quick little getaway.

 

794 FRANCISCO St
El Granada, CA 94018
$346,800

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,270
$/SQ. FT.: $273
LOT SIZE: 2,800 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: Bi/Split Level
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1960
COMMUNITY: Lower El Granada
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81144716
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 81 days

LOOK AT THIS PRICE HURRY WON”T LAST!! GREAT LOCATION!! 3 Bedroom 2 Bathroom is priced to sell * . Wood burning stove. Split level with Master Bedroom. Hot Tub. Property needs TLC. Close to the beautiful Ocean Beach enjoy walking along the seaside. Close to the Princeton Harbor and restaurants. Enjoy the sites of watching the surfers. COME BACK and SEE THE Painting exterior/Interior Plus * * * *

Here’s what The Klek had to say about today’s fine listing:

Here’s a good example of some lazy work on the part of the realtor who couldn’t be bothered with turning on the lights before taking pictures and editing those same pictures to remove any duplicates.

Still, I suppose the shadows and general darkness really underline the cozy quality. The grammar of the description needs work but I like how she mentioned the local sights (all at least 1/4-mile away) confusing the reader that the house offers views of surfers curling on a wave. Views of your neighbor couch surfing is more likely.

Oh, the poor buyers, thinking they’re signing up for volleyball and shell-collecting, when this is what they’re going to be looking at every day.

And have a look at the neighborhood.  The Klek was right about how close the beach was (that is, not yet in the big picture).

There is something seriously hinky going on over on Redfin when you try to look at the house on Streetview, probably because, for some reason, it’s classified as being in Half Moon Bay.  You’ll find yourself a block and a half away, and on the wrong street as well.  But Google Maps had no trouble finding it right away.

Now that we’ve found Home Sweet Home, guess it’s time to soak in the hot tub.

¡Perfecto!