41 BOTANY Ct, Redwood City, CA 94062 | MLS# 80941626
41 BOTANY Ct Redwood City, CA 94062
Price: $1,899,995

Beds: 4
Baths: 2.5
Sq. Ft.: 4,420
$/Sq. Ft.: $430
Lot Size: 0.28 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Traditional
Stories: 2
View: Bay, Neighborhood, City Lights
Year Built: 1988
Community: Cordilleras Heights
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 80941626
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 3 days
Gorgeous recently remodeled home. Incredible partial Bay view. Immaculate condition, soaring high ceilings, gourmet chef’s kitchen w/ stainless steel appliances, large master suite w/ stunning bath, elegant extra bonus rm. for entertainment ctr. etc. , custom designed with exquisite finishes throughout, large three car garage w/ extra storage. Lush gardens and yard perfect for family entertaining.

Thanks to Burbed reader RinkRat for sending this in. This is what he had to say:

Check out the realtard’s description on this one.    There must have been an adjective sale at the Dollar Tree, because he used all the good ones in one paragraph…How exquisite!

Well… sort of. Here are some other terms that I usually see in Bay Area listings that I think are noticably missing here:

1. Rental income for garage.
2. Instant equity waiting for you to be unlocked.
3. Great for first time buyers (who like to buy million dollar homes)
4. Great schools (compared to ones in Somalia)
5. Environmentally friendly.

Can you think of other adjectives that this house is missing?

253 KELTON Ave, San Carlos, CA 94070 | MLS# 80921524
253 KELTON Ave San Carlos, CA 94070
Price: $1,179,000
Beds: 4
Baths: 2.5

Sq. Ft.: 2,484
$/Sq. Ft.: $475
Lot Size: 4,400 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Contemporary
Stories: 2
Year Built: 1947
Community: El Sereno Corte
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 80921524
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 44 days
LAST CHANCE! COMING OFF MARKET ON 6/30!! 10K REDUCTION. Remodeled 2-story home in White Oaks! 4 lg BR, 2.5BA. Maple h/w flrs, chefs kchn w/ granite counters, luxury stnlss appliances, built-in fridge & freezer. Downstairs master w/ walk-in closet. French doors open to slate patio. 2 upstairs bedrooms w/ Jack-n-Jill BA. Ceiling fans throughout. Upstairs family room away from bedrooms for privacy.

Thanks for Burbed reader Rink Rat for sharing this!

Here’s what he had to say:

Oh my god.  Now I see where the term “Realtards” comes from.  Take a  look at MLS 80921524. It has been on the market since 6/17/08 –  basically a year — under a variety of brokerages.    So what do they do to convince people to buy a house that’s obviously massively overpriced?????  They drop  it $10,000.  I can hear the stampede of  buyers from here….

Could someone please call the police in San Carlos to let them know about a possible pending riot. I can see it now, hordes of people are going to descend on this house from San Jose, Washington DC, Seattle, Shanghai, Moscow to snatch it up before it goes off the market.

Traffic is going to be zoo. They’ll need riot gear.

Once this house goes off the market, it will be like the sun imploding – there will be no hope left. People will freak out. 4 horsemen, and all that.

$10,000 has already been droppped from the price. The warning shot has been fired.

Be prepared. Strap on the kevlar before you go.

Any predictions as to what will happen on 7/1?