December 16, 2013

This home is in need of extensive repairs… Ideally located

Thanks very much to all our readers, all five of them, who keep checking in, hoping we have some new content. Today’s what-the-fuck-is-THAT property has been brought to you by Burbed reader Swan!  Thanks very much!

Want to keep reading fresh new finds at Burbed?  Send us stuff!

131210-myrtle-redfin1072 MYRTLE St
San Jose, CA 95126
$369,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
600 Sq. Ft.
$615 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1920
Lot Size: 6,250 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 54 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
Community: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81338204

Rare Investors/Contractor’s Fixer Upper Special! This home is in need of extensive repairs, or it can be demolished and rebuilt. Zone M1 (Light Industrial) with many possibilities! Ideally located 5 minutes from Santa Clara University next to the beautiful Rose Garden Area. Walk across the street to the newly built Newhall Park with lawns, picnic areas and playground.

131210-myrtle-stuff131210-myrtle-saluteHere’s what Swan had to say about today’s house.

Just trying to help Burbed keep the masses happy!

I am pretty sure this house can’t say, "Done with permits."  I am not even sure it’s legal to live in this place, but the toilet seat is up welcoming the next owner!

We guess that says it all – except there’s way more pictures than this, so you can get an idea of just what they mean by “extensive repairs.”

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You know what else they forgot to mention? Close to transportation! This is the Nelson Mandela of Close to Transportation because it has accomplished everything.

131210-myrtle-aerial

Comments (1) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:08 am






November 15, 2013

Short ‘n Simple in San Jose

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for ensuring we had some content today.

131114-crestview-redfin738 CRESTVIEW Dr
San Jose, CA 95117
$785,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,481 Sq. Ft.
$530 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1954
Lot Size: 6,660 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 2 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: Traditional
Community: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81340890

There are no remarks available.

Yeah, we’ve been having a month like that.  Now let’s check in with Swan:

Once you see the realtard’s photography skills and the homeowner’s interior decorating skills, you’ll understand why, "There are no remarks available."

131114-crestview-shutters131114-crestview-tv131114-crestview-kitchen131114-crestview-dining

Click a pic to embiggen.

Comments (6) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am

October 14, 2013

We’re #1! We’re #1! We’re… PRICED OUT FOREVER!

Yesterday we shared a San Jose Mercury News (motto: Website now as thin as our newspaper!) piece showing many first-time buyers are going to remain full-time renters for the time being.  And that’s true even if we spot them places like Hayward and Mountain House.

That’s distressing news if you hate your blood-sucking landlord (but we repeat ourselves), your noisy neighbors, or your shiftless property “manager.”  Let’s balance that cup of cold crappy colloquy with some news that will turn your frown upside down.

Where Can the Middle Class Buy a Home?

131013-sf-least-affordable-ggbBy CONOR DOUGHERTY, The Wall Street Journal

If you’re in the middle class and want to buy a home here’s a piece of advice: Move to Ohio (if you’re not already there).

Some 86% of homes in the Akron, Ohio area are within reach of middle-class buyers in the area, the highest share in the nation, according to a report from Trulia, the real estate listings site. The next two cities on the list, with 85% of homes affordable to middle class, are Dayton and Toledo, respectively.

For those of you in the coastal elite who are reading this post for the perverse pleasure of finding out just how unaffordable your city is, you might be surprised to hear that New York isn’t No. 1. San Francisco is the least affordable place to be a middle-class buyer, with only 14% of homes within reach of those making the median San Francisco household income of $78,840, according to Trulia.*

However, we were slightly surprised by the next two most unaffordable places, Orange County and Los Angeles, respectively. New York was the fourth least affordable place to be middle class. After that were San Diego and San Jose and Ventura County.

Sooooo, SF is #1 but Silicon Valley is #6? But note, California completely PWN3D New York and the entire East Coast in the unaffordability sweeps. Washington DC? Shut out by the shutdown. Later, you imperialist running dogs no longer feeding at the public trough for the next few days!  When it comes to places nobody can afford to live in, we can revel in our Specialness!

131013-sf-least-listThe Trulia link above (yes, of course it works) says that while San Francisco has a 60% higher median income than most-affordable Akron, Ohio, homes there sell for (deep breath, now) seven times as much.  Only 14% of homes for sale are affordable to a household earning median income for the area.  Even worse, whoops, we mean better, San Francisco has dropped ten more percentage points in affordability since last October when 24% of homes could be purchased by a median income household.

To get slightly wonky, the real formula was what percent of homes’ monthly payments were 31% or less of the median household income, which shows the problem right there.  Everyone knows if you want to buy a house in SF, Cash is King. Monthly payment? Might as well ask if they’ll sell you the house for a hogshead of buggy whips.

San Jose’s affordability index per Trulia was 31%, but then again, none of the contenders were anywhere close to SF.  Second-place Orange County came in with only 23% of homes rated affordable by the “middle class.”

Trulia also provided a “maximum affordable home price” for each area.  Let’s take a look at what you get for that price.  Here’s a 5 BR/3 BA in SF at only $10K less than the maximum affordable amount. Of course this house is in Bayview and it has some permit issues, but you can’t have everything.

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Contrast to how far your dollar S-T-R-E-T-C-H-E-S in San Jose!

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Wow, a gated estate with lots of CAPITAL LETTERS and it’s yours AS IS, which means the seller won’t switch houses on you!  And just for giggles, let’s see what an “affordable” house in Akron (highest affordable house: $226K) looks like.

131013-sf-least-akron

OMG look at that house! Those bricks are going down into a big ol’ pile as soon as The Big One hits! Not only that, it would take at least a couple more hours to get to Google from here than the other two houses we showed you.  And when you look out in the boonies like this, notice what you don’t get: a decent fence around the place to keep the nosy neighbors away.

We won’t even get into the difficulty of transferring into Cupertino schools.

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:08 am

October 8, 2013

Seller Prefers No Photo in Willow Glen

A great listing should be chock-full of photos to make you drop everything you’re doing and run over to your agent to say I MUST HAVE THIS HOUSE THIS INSTANT.  A so-so listing will have at least a couple of photos that intrigue you enough to see yourself possibly moving in.  And then there’s today’s listing.

Yes, we know there was no listing yesterday.  Unless all three of our readers decide to send in voluntary donations to keep us motivated, there sure are times we just don’t feel like writing. You want fresh content each morning? Then go ahead and MAKE MY DAY.

Ahem. Anyway, on to today’s featured property!

131007-william-redfin572 W WILLIAM St
San Jose, CA 95125
$299,999

3 Beds
1 Baths
1,204 Sq. Ft.
$249 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1905
Lot Size: 6,000 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 122 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Willow Glen
MLS#: 81320113
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

Great fixer upper in Willow Glen. 3 Bedrooms 1 bath, shopping and schools nearby. Large kitchen with cute built-ins. High ceiling adds space.

Why would the seller prefer no photo when their agent could give us this one?

131007-william-streetview

Or an even better shot, like the LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION! This place is close to EVERYTHING!  Like extra added emissions!

131007-william-aerial

And we’re sure you can find even more amazing benefits to this property that the agent neglected to share! Have at it!

Comments (14) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:05 am

October 2, 2013

Investment opportunity! Tenants willing to rent back.

10200 TORRANCE Ave
San Jose, CA 95127
$399,000

20130930a

It’s Silicon Valley! Who doesn’t like an investment opportunity!

So, if this has been renting for $1,800 per month for more than 4 years, doesn’t that mean that this is underpriced? As the new landlord, would you immediately double the rent to the market value of $3,600? After all, the rent was based on the price before the remodel! That seems awfully low.

What’s your pricing strategy for this?

And let’s not forget this large lot in the back!

image

It’s so… triangular! That just means you can build an incredibly unique, and therefore, incredibly expensive (because it’s rare!) house in the back as well! You could market this as the Triangle House – TriHo for short!

Comments (2) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:48 am

September 30, 2013

Buying A Home Still Beats Renting By 35% In America’s Biggest Cities

Buying A Home Still Beats Renting By 35% In America’s Biggest Cities

Despite rising home prices and mortgage rates, it’s still cheaper to buy a home than to rent one in America’s largest cities. A new report from San Francisco, Calif.-based real estate site Trulia finds that, nationally, it’s 35% less expensive to own a home. Even in notoriously pricey, renter-heavy cities like San Francisco and New York, it remains 9% and 21% cheaper, respectively.

Of the top 10, eight are located in Calif., a state in which many cities, despite being plagued by high unemployment and the foreclosure crisis, never saw prices fall enough to fully align with other local economic fundamentals like median income.

The metro area that will swing back toward renting first is San Jose, Calif., when mortgage rates climb to 5.2%. It’s currently 4% cheaper to buy than rent in the Silicon Valley hub, a dramatic change from last year when it was 31% cheaper.

This really proves what we’ve all known: buying is cheaper than renting. It’s always a good time to buy.

I’m not sure what you’re doing this Monday morning, but if you’re not buying a home, you’re probably starting off this week in the wrong way.

What does your calculations show? Is buying cheaper than renting?

Comments (8) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:42 am

September 20, 2013

Cheapest House in San Jose: Just add imagination & love

Tired of seeing three million dollars for a cracker box in Palo Alto?  Us, too.  Here’s how far you can S-T-R-E-T-C-H your dollar if you’re willing to look in San Jose. Well, the Special parts, anyway.

130919-drake-redfin602 DRAKE St
San Jose, CA 95125
$319,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
966 Sq. Ft.
$330 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1948
Lot Size: 4,840 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 8 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Willow Glen
MLS#: 81333635
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

Diamond in the rough, Corner lot with potential, with some imagination and love you can turn it into your dream home. Large backyard with room for RV or boat parking. Detached garage, perfect for an at home workshop. ALL CASH ONLY. Property condition restricts financing options.

Didn’t we already have a diamond in the rough this week? This one appears to be a little rougher. At least it won’t set you back too much scratch. And here’s why.

130919-drake-patio130919-drake-rear

Not only do you get these lovely pavers, the shadowing on the house makes it look jauntily nautical. Um, that is if “tugboat” can go in that nautical category.

130919-drake-room130919-drake-bedroom

And don’t worry about the low price meaning you’ll do without amenities! As you can clearly observe, the house does have rooms in it!

130919-drake-rous

There’s more! Looks like we found another R.O.U.S, stronghold as well!  That’s two this week!

And here’s really why this place is such a bargain: Location, location, location! Although this location sure ain’t Willow Glen.

130919-drake-satellite

Bunus: Dorky datestamps on photos are from July!

Click here to post a comment -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:03 am

September 6, 2013

East San Jose Mawbul Kawlums! This house sits on a lot of square feet

Okay, East San Jose hills, but still! Oh my gawd who lives here, the POPE?  Thanks very much to Burbed reader TL in San Jose for sending in this feature that indicates what makes a joint classy. KAWLUMS!  Put some in your bedroom!

130905-chaboya-redfin4227 CHABOYA Ct
San Jose, CA 95148
$2,988,000

7 Beds
6.5 Baths
8,314 Sq. Ft.
$359 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1989
Lot Size: 3.40 Acres
On Redfin: 14 days
Status: Active


130905-chaboya-kawlums1

130905-chaboya-kawlums2Not only this mansion teeming with MAWBUL KAWLUMS, the listing isn’t full of much of anything. We didn’t forget the description; there isn’t any. Also missing are basic entry items such as the County, the house style, and how many stories in the building. But this agent doesn’t have any stories to tell. Instead, we’ll let the photos do all the talking.

We did find this description on MLSListings:

130905-chaboya-kawlums3*BREATHTAKING UNSURPASSED VIEWS OF SF BAY AREA, SILICON VALLEY, AND THE BEST SUNSETS IN THE AREA* 7 BEDROOMS* 6.5 BATHS*2 MASTER SUITES* 2 KITCHENS W/ S.S. APPLIANCES* EXTRA LARGE BUILT IN FRIDGE* GRANITE SLAB COUNTERS HUGE ENTERTAINMENT/BONUS AREA* UNPARALLELED CUSTOM FINISHES THROUGHOUT *HIGH CEILINGS* MARBLE FLOORS* DRAMATIC STAIRCASE* BASKETBALL CT* VINEYARD * SOLAR POOL* EXCELLENT SCHOOLS*

130905-chaboya-kawlums4Best of all, it links to a virtual tour with, we shit you not, 80 pictures.  Because the 25 on Redfin are obviously not enough. Also not enough are the missing description in Redfin and the ALL-CAPS one above. So we are delighted to share the one from the virtual tour as well, because it demonstrates the care and consideration taken with selling a three million dollar house.

130905-chaboya-description

It certainly does. 148,104 sure is a lot.

130905-chaboya-kawlums5130905-chaboya-kawlums6

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am

August 28, 2013

Resort Style Community… for Railfans and Trainspotters

Not everyone can afford to live close to Google.  For everyone else there’s real life and real budgets. That means properties like the one we’re bringing you today.  Oh wait, this property has an asking price of $850,000.

130827-dahlia-redfin1340 DAHLIA Loop
San Jose, CA 95126
$849,900

HOA Dues: $180/mo.
3 Beds
3 Baths
1,977 Sq. Ft.
$430 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2006
Lot Size: 3,920 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 4 days
Status: Active
HOA Dues: $180/month
Style: Contemporary
Community: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81331315
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 3
County: Santa Clara

Stunning Single Family Home in Resort Style Encanto Community. Located walking distance from Santa Clara University and a short drive from Santana Row and San Jose International Airport. This is a unique corner lot with one of the biggest lot size in the community. Beautifully done Front/Back yard which are rare in this community. Bonus Room big enough for a pool table. Perfect for entertaining.

130827-dahlia-closeupLet’s have a real good look at this “Resort Style Encanto Community,” because streetview is not available. Obviously this is such an exclusive resort, self-driving Google robot overlord vehicles aren’t allowed in.

You may not realize it, but the photo above and the other one of the pool are not the building that is for sale.  As a Burbed exclusive, we’d like to show you just what exactly it is they’re selling.

And then we’ll pull back a bit and give you another thing the agent didn’t.

Context.

130827-dahlia-satellite

130827-dahlia-poolSee that house in the lower left corner of the plex, right next to both the railroad tracks and the kitchen & bathroom warehouse? Yup, that’s it. But hey! Front/Back yard which are rare in this community.

Wait until you find out what’s on the other side of those railroad tracks!

Bunus: Another unit is for sale in this community, which doesn’t have all the benefits such as the whopping 3800 square foot lot. What it does have is 26 photos for you to enjoy Resort Living.  And lots of trains.  Perfect for entertaining, provided the people you are entertaining are all three year old boys.

130827-dahlia-caltrainWhoo-whoooooooooo!

Comments (6) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am

August 14, 2013

Vintage property on Park Avenue, shown by appointmnet only

Sure, Park Avenue is a destination address in The Big Apple. Today’s house, however, is located in a different Big City, namely Wait, That’s A Top Ten City? or as it’s also known, Bigger Than San Francisco? RU SRS?  Being serious, can you name one major company headquartered in San Jose? Neither can we, and we already mentioned a big one named Apple that’s over in Cupertino.  Okay, Adobe, but that’s ONE. There probably aren’t any more.

Meanwhile, we’ve got a Park Avenue property from Burbed reader Swan for you today. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did.  (That is if by “enjoy” we really meant “avoid.”)

130813-park-redfin1083 PARK Ave
San Jose, CA 95126
$599,000

3 Beds
1.5 Baths
1,492 Sq. Ft.
$401 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1925
Lot Size: 6,560 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 97 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Central San Jose
MLS#: 81315666
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

Single family home with additional rooms attached to garage. Showing by appointmnet only.

130813-park-fromstreetHere’s Swan’s song:

Saving the best for last, I give you 1083 Park Ave., San Jose. This listing is full of Burbed Win!  First, five beautiful, out of focus pictures of the front of the house. 

Second, there are some fuzzy photos of the interior.  These pictures start off showing what seems to be pretty decent living and dining areas.  Is that a glass of beer on the dining table?  If so, it goes with the beer ad on the TV! 

130813-park-tv130813-park-dining

130813-park-kitchenThe kitchen, other than the post near the refrigerator, isn’t bad either.   In pictures #12 and #13 we are given a slow introduction as to what is to come.  Have you ever watched "Hoarders?"  Well, pictures 14 and 15 could be right out of an episode!

Before you call the cleanup crew, look at pictures 16 and 17.  Apparently only the storage area is a mess because the bathroom and laundry area aren’t too bad.  Notice the toilet seat is up in the bathroom!  Also, does the random arm in #17 count as a Dude Hanging Out? 

130813-park-another-fine-mess130813-park-neat130813-park-bath130813-park-partial-dho

We aren’t done yet!  Check out Streetview for a bunus!! Porta-potty next door!

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That’s an even better bunus than a trash bin! Plus… Holy Jughandle, Batman, is that a sound wall? No! It isn’t!

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Wow, this is exciting! Whatever are they building next door? A liquor store? An adult movie emporium? So many exciting possibilities for making new friends!

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:08 am