Let’s continue with our post-Christmas clearance sales!  Today’s fabulous find is in the fantastic framework of Milpitas, or as its fun-loving denizens call it, “What’s that smell?”  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for flipping this one forward.

1568 CLEAR LAKE Ave
Milpitas, CA 95035
$359,000

HOA Dues: $270/mo. 
2 Beds 
1.5 Baths 
1,008 Sq. Ft.
$356 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1971 
Lot Size: 810 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 21 days
Status: Active
HOA Dues: $270/month
Stories: 1-3 (Low Rise)
County: Santa Clara
Property Type: Townhouse
Community: Milpitas
MLS#: 81242591

Property well maintained and is ready for its new owners.

Or as PG notes:

It’s ready for a new agent too.

Oh don’t be such a stickler, Petsmart.  Just because the front image took a little rotation ride doesn’t mean the agent isn’t a knowledgeable professional.  Let’s enjoy the rest of the photos.

Excellent.  Start with the exterior shots first and then lure your customers in.

Here the agent skillfully picks up the wooden texture of the bed frame in both the dining room set and the beautifully shining hardwood floor.

Contextual linking continues in subtle ways with the kitchen towels suggesting whimsy, supported by the colorful devil-may-care display on the coffee table.

Now it’s your turn.  Do you see the ingenious way the agent finds elements in common from the living room entry to the bathroom sink?  And nice job leaving out the throne entirely. You’d be surprised how many amateurs not only include it but have the seat raised high.

Ending the photo show with nature at her most bountiful, we also note this property has a location, location, location (!) in a popularly-populated planning potpourri!  You can find everything here!

Today’s featured property was sent in by Burbed reader Swan! Thanks very much for this wonderful Woodside win.  (Oh yeah, PENDING!!!!!!)

133 MARVA OAKS Dr
Woodside, CA 94062
Listed at $1,895,000

2 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,400 Sq. Ft.
$1,354 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1961 
Lot Size: 3.73 Acres 
On Redfin: 112 days
Status: Pending Without Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Central Woodside
MLS#: 81231887
Style: Contemporary
View: Canyon
County: San Mateo

Driveway is a slight downslope, house is on the flat, then another downslope on a road to a lower, larger flat pretty area. From there property does go down to Raymundo, but too much brush to walk.

We sure like this description of the property.  Here’s what Swan had to say about it.

Let’s start with the realtard listing 3.73 acres in Woodside for $2250.  Why I didn’t jump on the deal then, I’ll never know!  Suddenly, the price went up to $2,250,000 only to be reduced to $1,895,000.  Of course, the listing is pending! 

Anyway, how about the realtard’s description of the property.  Huh?  Say that again?  The Redfin agent seems to sum it up nicely:  fixer.  Oh, and be sure to check the satellite view in Google.  There’s a an RV (or something) with a lovely blue tarp over the top.And, on the back part of the property, a broken down vehicle along with that burned down barn.  I’m sure the surrounding mansions love living next door to the hillbillies!

Wait, what’s this about 3.73 acres for $2250?

Yowza.  And the Redfin agent?

She did not actually say “fixer.”  Just “open your wallet.”

Let’s take a break from our Black Friday DEALS and see what a house can look like if you’re willing to spend more than what you find in your sofa cushions.  Instead of scraping the bottom of the barrel, let’s see what you can get for a million and a half.  Thanks very much to Petsmart Groomer for this magnificent Menlo Park megaplex!

1045 WINDERMERE Ave
Menlo Park, CA 94025
$1,549,000

3 Beds 
3.5 Baths 
2,856 Sq. Ft.
$542 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2007 
Lot Size: 8,923 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 77 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Flood Park Area
MLS#: 81234064
Style: Traditional, Craftsman
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo

Stunning 5-year-old rebuilt home | 3 bedroom suites & 3.5 ba | Kitchen-family great room | Incredible chef’s kitchen w/ custom cabs, center island, walk-in pantry, high-end stainless appliances incl 6′ wide double fridge | Bonus room off FR perfect for office or play | Fine finishes: 9′ ceilings, rich moldings, plantation shutters, hrdwd flrs, recessed lighting, AC | Great yard | Top MP schools

Isn’t it nice to see a place for sale that doesn’t look like a crime scene?  Don’t you just want to move in here?  We just hope that Flood Park Area is just a neighborhood name and not a description, or worse, an order.

And for this price category, you should, and here you do get some decent real estate photography.  (Although we think this house is  slightly radioactive: look at the sky color change near the roof and especially the trees) Think about some of the places on the sale rack that were shot with a disposable.

Remember, you get what you pay for!  And in this case it’s location, location, location!

Or should that be LOLcation?  Guess that explains the chef’s kitchen w/custom cabs.

We’re continuing our DEALS DEALS DEALS all week long!  As we work our way further and further from our usual comfort zone, we’ll be visiting the entire Bay Area, or at least every county. 

Today we stop off at the one with a serious diversity shortage.  Yes, we’re talking Marin County, where diversity means there’s a redhead in your kid’s class.  And we’ve found you the absolute cheapest house in Marin.

57 Ocean View Ave
Dillon Beach, CA 94929
$275,000

Price 
2
Beds 
1
Baths  680 Sq. Ft.
$404 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1927  Lot Size: 1,830 Sq. Ft.  On Redfin: 351 days Status: Active
Property Type
Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories
1
County
Marin
Style
Cottage
Community
Dillon Beach
MLS#
21131349

One level, no stairs.

Four pictures, no trash.

1,830 square foot lot. Wow. When someone said they weren’t making any more land, guess whoever owned this property said, “Nuh uh! I’m going to build a bunch of tiny shacks and sell them on 1/9 acre lots and I’ll be rich, rich!”

Now if you want to be rich, rich as well, you had better start buying up property in Marin now.  Because right now certain neighborhoods in San Francisco are ultra-hot with all those well-paid high-tech engineers and social media purveyors and game-engine optimizers.  Now what do you think is going to happen when these people get married and have kids?

Well, nothing.  But what do you think is going to happen when their oldest kids start turning four? They’re going to be out the door to the land of Safe Public Schools in time to register for Kindergarten. Watch Marin values skyrocket then.  You read it here first.

Remember, a little of something is better than renting a lot of nothing.  And today’s Black Friday Deal is about as little as you can get.  But it’s a little sliver 600 feet from the beach… and a little less of a walk every day!

Just because it isn’t Black Friday anymore doesn’t mean the DEALS stop!  Let’s see what you can get if you want to live in San Mateo County but don’t want to break the bank.  Or rob the bank.  Or get a ginormous bail-out because you’re a bank.

719 3RD Ave
San Bruno, CA 94066
$388,880

2 Beds 
1 Baths 
820 Sq. Ft.
$474 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1940 
Lot Size: 3,700 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 7 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Belle Air
MLS#: 81241202
Style: Ranch
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo

Lovingly kept & lived by current owner for a long time. Per county record it is 3BR/1BA; however, 3rd BR has no closet. Walking distance to BART/CalTrain/Elem School. Easy access to HWY 101 for commuting to SF, E. Bay and So. Bay. Regular Sale (Not a Short Sale or REO). Open House 11/18(Sun 1-4 pm) & 11/25(Sun 1-4 pm). Offers, if any, due by 11/25,3 pm. Information believe to be accurate but not verified.

We’re already doing better than yesterday’s cheapest property in Santa Clara County, because the first find is an actual, detached house.  It’s also eligible for the “cozy” tag, but you can’t have everything, can you? Come on, this is vintage pre-war, and it looks like it’s still in vintage condition! Plus that awesome “No, no, no, this isn’t a distressed sale, really!” plaint in the listing copy.

You want a house? You now have zero excuses. Plus, just like yesterday’s third house, easy access to both 101 and the airport!

This house is the deal of the century! (Information believe to be accurate but not verified.)

Can you judge a book by its cover?  You’re going to have to if you’re interested in this beauty in Belmont!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader alyson for sending this foreclosed fortress in.

612 Hiller St
Belmont, CA 94002 
Price:  $624,900

Loan Payment:  $2,094/mo
Bedrooms:  3
Bathrooms:  2
Size:  1,970 sqft
$/Sqft:  $317/sqft
Type:  Single Family House
Year Built:  1953
Lot Size:  7,072
Days on Movoto:  15 days
MLS#:  81239349
Status:  Pending – Do Not Show
Go See This Home Make an Offer

Great opportunity to own a home in Belmont! Walking distance to schools, shopping and easy freeway access. This is great for 1st time buyers or investors. Only cash buyers for this property, the buyer(s) are to take possession with the occupant(s) in possession. There will be NO interior inspections for this property, only drive by.*** DO NOT DISTURBE THE OCCUPANT(S) *** Thank You.

Here’s why alyson sent us this listing:

“great for 1st time buyers” but you can only drive by before buying!

Who says you can only drive by?  You have many other options!  You could also walk by, jog by, bike by, skateboard by, rollerblade by, or wait for the next snowstorm and cross-country ski by.

Also, if you’re really feeling adventurous, you could descend down the chimney wearing a cable harness like in Mission: Impossible, to avoid the laser-activated alarms this house is obviously secured by.  That’s why there’s no photos inside.

We do like how Movoto encourages us to Go See This Home when the listing copy tells us we can’t.

Bunus: Home sold for $640K in… 2004!

And — holy cow, it’s Friday already.  How about something aspirational for those of you with some seriously studly stock options?  Check out this little lulu in Los Altos!  Thanks very much to long-time Burbed reader/first-time caller RM for this find.

1380 HOLLY Ave
Los Altos, CA 94024
$3,495,000

6 Beds 
6.5 Baths 
4,559 Sq. Ft.
$767 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2009 
Lot Size: 0.28 Acres 
On Redfin: 20 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Mountains, Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara
Stories: 2
Community: South of El Monte
MLS#: 81238438

Quality built architect designed custom home. Features top rated Los Altos School. incl. Oak Ave School. Close to schools and park. Easy access to hwy 85,Foothill & 280.Gourmet Kitchen Overlooking rear Patio, Great master suite. Two Bedroom suites on main floor & Two Mirror Image Suites in Basements. Spacious Livingroom w/ Vaulted ceilings. 4 car garage two car attached two detached oversized.

This was built in 2009?  Srsly?  Just a casual glance gave me all these 1974 tingles.  Now, let’s hear from RM on why this house belongs on the front page.

This is a very odd house for sale in my neighborhood. Garage in the center of the house, two basement bedroom suites, and a giant detached garage in the back, with no paving for the driveway to the back. (And no pictures.) Lap pool combined with swimming pool in a very constrained space.

Check out the google maps for a good overhead view of the oddness. And confetti colored tile in the kitchen and baths. Whoever buys it will be really sorry if they do not remove the redwood by the front driveway, or if they pay $3,495,000.

Wait, there’s a pool?  Is it in the Basements?

When did “confetti tile” become A Thing?  Didn’t we ran a house recently that had the same fascinating design choice?  Well, there was this.

Alas, this Quality built architect designed custom home is 441 square feet too small to merit the ginormous tag.

Are you feeling handy? Here’s the kind of property you should be perusing.  Our thanks to Burbed reader nomadic for this luscious landholding in Los Gatos.  Um… too late!

18 FILLMER Ave
Los Gatos, CA 95030
$899,000

2 Beds 
1 Baths 
992 Sq. Ft.
$906 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1938 
Lot Size: 8,400 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 42 days
Status: Pending Without Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara
Stories: 1
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81234420

Extraordinary opportunity right off of Los Gatos Blvd. One of the last homes on this street with renovation/complete redo potential. Majority of land is behind the existing structure. Old “barn” (one maybe two car garage), wishing well, bbq pit and extra dry storage.

Here’s what nomadic had tied to the rock that broke our window:

Tear down for $900k, listing by California Dreaming Real Estate and property is complete with a wishing well.  Yet somehow the listing price just isn’t outrageous enough.

That’s why it went pending! Massive overbidding brought the selling right price back up where it needs to be! Good luck finding the house, though.  But with fun neighbors like these across the street, once you do maybe they’ll help you decorate.

Bunus: House is assessed for $140K, which means vintage everything inside! Too bad only the buyer got to see how vintage.

Happy Friday!  Let’s finish out the week with a super structure in Saratoga, courtesy of Burbed reader wahnny!  And break out the red arrows, because we’re hunting mawbul kawlums!

15181 BELLECOURT Ave
Saratoga, CA 95070
$6,000,000

5 Beds 
5.5 Baths 
6,600 Sq. Ft.
$909 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2003 
Lot Size: 1.02 Acres 
On Redfin: 10 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: French
Community: Saratoga
MLS#: 81236964

This unbelvble Gorgeous French Style Masterpiece Estate is spanned graciously on one level. Magestic & quality craftd, combind w/ architctural excellnce. Nestld in most desirble & prestigious area of SAR * Situatd on a Flat Acr+, * Guest Hse * amazing Media Rm/cinema * Game Rm * Exercise Rm w/ steam showr * 2Family Rms/wings * invitng grounds w/ Pool & Spa perfect4 entertainng * Orchrd * Nr downtwn-sar schls-Not a cornr lot

Was this house listed on Twitter before they put it on MLS?  With 6600 square feet of living space, certainly the broker could make room to stage some more vowels.

Now heeeeeeeeeere’s wahnny on why this wigwam’s a winner!

It’s been a while since multimillion+ RBA houses were featured on Burbed, but I just came across one that seems to go overboard in its ostentatiousness.

The house looks like an ad-hoc mishmash of architectural styles, with each room having different themes, some with painted ceilings, and of course, mawbul kawlums galore!

Curious who the seller/realtor thinks will be attracted to such a place, especially at their asking price.

We’re curious how high the overbidding on this kawlumned kastle will be when it’s so unbelvble.  We’ve included some more pictures for your perusal in case you doubt its awesomitude.  But we’re thinking of calling shenanigans on the home theater.  Either every high-end installation looks and photographs exactly the same, or the picture’s been nicked from another listing.

Bunus: See if you can figure out how this one acre property on the corner of Bellecourt and Highway 9 is not a cornr lot.

Menlo Park, like its nearby neighbors, is having a bit of a real estate run right now.  Fortunately, some properties have that certain je ne sais pas that put them on our front page no matter how much Facebook employees want to buy a house.  Today’s featured facade, foisted upon us by Burbed reader peninsula.man, punctuates this perfectly.  Please proceed.

410 8TH AVE
Menlo Park, CA 94025
Offered at $699,000
- Pending (Do Not Show)

Type: Single Family Home
MLS #  ML81233923 
SqFt  2,170
Beds  5  Baths  3 Full / 1 Partial 
Lot Size 5,350 SqFt
Year / Age  1935 / 77
Virtual Tour
BuildFax 
 
This spacious and newly remodeled home with 2170 sf is in immaculate move-in condition. Beautifully updated kitchen, baths, recessed lighting, crown moldings, dual-pane windows, and Cherry engineered hardwood floors. Secure front gate with professionally landscaped yard. A perfect home with great convenient location, ready and waiting for its new owner.

And here’s what the P-Man himself has to say about this place:

Can not wait to live next to pizza hut! for just over half a million

More like almost half again over half a million. You’ve been living on the Peninsula too long if $199,000 isn’t worth mentioning in a home price.

More importantly, these photos suggest that this not-quite-vintage-enough-to-qualify-for-the-old-house-tag listing has had a few upgrades put in recently.  Very recently.  Because let’s have a look at the last time this place went pending.

410 8TH Ave
Menlo Park, CA 94025
$355,000 –  Last Sold Price

4 Beds 
4.5 Baths 
2,000 Sq. Ft.
$178 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1935 
Lot Size: 5,350 Sq. Ft. 
Sold On: Jan 13, 2012
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo
Stories: 1
Community: County Area/Fair Oaks Ave
MLS#: 81150047

This property is a fixer upper need cash buyer to buy this property

Someone had the cash, as the place went pending in eleven days.  Now look what they did to it!  This time it went pending in only seven days. 

Whoops, according to Zillow it went pending in seven days after the $76,000 price reduction five weeks after the $50,000 price reduction which was a month after this place was first listed for an eye-popping $825,000. 

Where the heck do they think they are, Mountain View?  Bunus: House is not actually next to Pizza Hut. 

You can clearly see there is a Quik-Stop in the way.  Be sure to check out the Streetview so you can appreciate this location, location, location! 

Score! Trash bins and DHO!