And we haven’t had a Search Engine Saturday for many, many Saturdays!

Recently someone used a Search Engine and found his or her way over to Burbed by entering the following search:

what kind of toxic dump is whisman station on

What kind indeed?  The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) can certainly tell you all about it. But who wants to read a bunch of boring government reports?  That’s why there’s Burbed!  We’re happy to pass along any news about what kind of toxic dump your neighborhood is sitting on as well.  (Pro tip: Most Bay Area neighborhoods are infested with Bubbling Exuberance.)

Here’s our article that answers the above question, and the kind of toxic dump Whisman Station sits on is very nasty indeed.  Specifically, it’s a Tricoroethylene (TCE) plume.

Moreover, according to this article shared by Burbed reader Real Estater, this delightful area of opportunity is expanding into new territory!  Now who says they aren’t making any more land?

This is also your Three Day Weekend Open Thread!  W00t!

We haven’t had a Search Engine Saturday for a long time.  Do you know why?  It’s because there have been enough on-topic items to cover for our weekend open threads.  Search Engine entries mean either nothing’s worth discussing or I’m too lazy to write a real article.

And after researching and writing six very long pieces on zip codes, it’s time for a break.  For us.

Recently, someone used a Search Engine (I won’t say which one, but it rhymes with kugel) and found their way to Burbed using the term Palo Alto house crazy.  I’m pleased to report that Burbed comes up second on that term, losing out only to CineArts @ Palo Alto showtimes and tickets.  (Burbed readers are invited to speculate just why a foreign film theater would be of interest to off-their-meds real estate enthusiasts.)

I suspect that the searcher probably wanted this article from Palo Alto Online covering the crazy difficult time people are having in renting a place there.  But perhaps they were looking for the YouTube video with a crazy DUI high-speed crash in East Palo Alto.

That’s the great thing about using a Search Engine.  You can’t look for Palo Alto without getting its neighbor to the north as a “bunus.”  Anyway, this is an Open Thread, so have yourself a house crazy time today.

And you know what that means!  It means no zip codes today.

Today’s first search term that bought an Escondido reader to Burbed was more business and people leaving california.  That’s negative talk, and we don’t need no negativity on Burbed.  We do snark and sneer, not doom and gloom.  Besides, if more business and people are leaving California, that means everyone left is going to have low Prop 13 tax bases and nobody will ever sell.  BAD IDEA!

Our second interesting search term that brought a San Francisco someone to Burbed is most intelligent city san francisco.  Our readers sure are confident!  And modest!  Yet the search makes perfect sense.  With all the foolish business and people leaving California, the only ones staying are the smart folks.  End result: San Francisco is the most intelligent city.

This is an open thread (like we ever had one that wasn’t).

Recently someone found this site by searching Google for “low income housing mountain view ca.”  How trashy!  If you’re going to search Mountain View for low-income housing, then use a low-income search engine, preferentially one that isn’t located in Mountain View.

Here’s just one result the lucky looker found!  Affordable housing’ bad for quality of life – Mountain View.  That sounds like a NIMBY worldview, absolutely perfect for a Real Bay Area (RBA) city like Mountain View!  It’s much better quality of life to spend half your income on rent, or even better, 2/3 of it on buying a house!

It turns out that there are enough results for “affordable housing” and “mountain view” on burbed that this is a starred site for that search term!

Well.  We had better do something about that.  Everyone knows there is no affordable housing in the RBA.  If it were affordable, anyone could move in.

Recently someone found this site by searching for “best car to afford with 100k salary.”  Too bad the reader doesn’t live anywhere Special, because in the Real Bay Area (RBA) everyone has a 100k salary.  Heck, my hairdresser’s housekeeper’s dog walker makes 100k.

So, think back to when you only made a hundred thou a year and tell us what the best car for you would have been.  I’m assuming if you’re a fairly recent homebuyer, the car would be a 1988 Honda Civic. For a renter, maybe an Audi R8 is almost good enough to make up for your meaningless transient life as you pile up wads of cash rather than fork it over to a friendly mortgage company.

Today we’re having a two-for-one special.  Another reader found burbed by searching for “$150k income $600k mortgage.”  Are banks letting people borrow only four times their income?  That could lead to the collapse of our whole RBA way of life!

Recently someone found this site by searching for: feel trapped in my house with this market

It’s true! Many Real Bay Area citizens feel trapped! What do you do when you’re sitting on this enormous gold mine of equity, in a land where all the smart people and great sushi restaurants are? How can you move anywhere else, which would be a step backwards? A move that might force you to resume paying your fair share of property tax, instead of 1/10 of your neighbors?

Like the great philosopher The Notorious B.I.G. said, “Mo Money Mo Problems”. Word.

Recently, someone visited this site via a search for “meth superlab.” Here’s a possible candidate if they’re still looking to start one!

380 PAMLAR Ave San Jose, CA 95128
$499.000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,697
$/SQ. FT.: $295
LOT SIZE: 9,180 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1947
COMMUNITY: Campbell
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81020518
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 47 days

Bank Owned fixer on big lot * Hardwd flrs thruout * living rm w/ fireplace * Large kitchen family rm hi ceilings * wood cabinetry, butcher block counter tops, slate tile flrings * bdrms w/ ceiling fans, closet space * Skylights * Indoor laundry rm w/ side yard acess * above ground Swimming pool * 1 car detached garage * storage shed * decks * no thru traffic * easy access frwy 17 & 280,campbell downtown * home on east side of 17

Low cost, big lot, you could buy this as an investment property, slap on some new paint, and start collecting rent tomorrow.  Or you could use it as is and it would make a super meth lab!  Your neighbors won’t hear or smell a thing because it’s all about location, location, location!

Remember, there’s no thru traffic, so anyone driving down this street is coming to do business with you!  Isn’t that just super?

Recently someone found this site by searching for: twenty to thirty year olds making a good salary 

That, my friends, is the definition of the Bay Area. I can’t think of anyone twenty or thirty year old who isn’t making at least $85k. And, that’s a good salary. Sure it almost qualifies you for government assisted housing in Mountain View, but it’s good. Unfortunately, this can happen in other areas as well.

The key is the stock! Cha-CHING! So… the right search should have been “twenty to thirty year olds making millions through stock” – and then the Bay Area would be the definitive winner!

It’s been a while, but it’s time for Search Engine Result Thursday!

Recently someone found this site by searching for: average high school donation 

Great question! I think the average in the Bay Area ranges from $250-$10,000. It’s a function of how much you care about your child’s education, and how much you care about the welfare of the senior citizens, landlords, and corporate land holders that pay 1/10th of what you pay in their property tax.

How much do you donate to your school?

Recently someone found this site by searching for: what to do to get additional driveway in san mateo

Um. Uh. Well. That’s certainly an unusual question.

My advice? Buy a house near SFO. Perhaps you can use some of the runways or taxiways during offpeak hours for parking your RVs and boats.