Today is day #5 of the A to Z blogging challenge:  Everything’s Easy. Eventually Excellent Estates would be Examined, as Everyone Expected we’d Essay on Entities Eastwards. Ever Espy how adding East to an Entity makes it Easier to Enjoy?  East Palo Alto is an Easier Expense than Palo Alto.  East San Jose is less Expensive as San Jose. And East Oakland? Empty. Ecch, Examine the Entire East Bay if you Endeavor to Evade being priced out forever!  Er, End Emit Equity Emerging Evermore.

2318 PALO VERDE Ave
East Palo Alto, CA 94303
$369,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
860 Sq. Ft.
$429 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1951
Lot Size: 4,800 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 3 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: East of U.S. 101
MLS#: 81310172
Style: Contemporary
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo

BEAUTIFUL REMODELED HM W/ MANY WINDOWS, GARDEN VIEWS & ABUNDANCE OF NATURAL LIGHT. INCL NEW KIT, GRANITE COUNTERTOP, BACKSPLASH, TILE FLRS, NEW STOVE, LARGE LR & BEDROOMS. NEW LAMINATED FLR THROUGHOUT. REMODELED BATH. FRESHLY PAINTED INSIDE & OUT. PROFESSIONAL LANDSCAPING W/ AUTOMATIC IRRIGATION. PEACEFUL SETTING AFFORDS PRIVACY YET REMAINS MINS TO SHOPPING & FREEWAY ACCESS. MUST SEE TO APPRECIATE!

There is one term for this kind of a building and that is “snout house.” It’s all garage and the front Entrance is not Eyeable. But there’s so much more to today’s Entry!

Not only is there a Gated Entryway, in Excellent snout house tradition, we still can’t find the front door. Note the addition of a stunt portal.

The remodeled Eatery is Eclectic, while the yard is Easy maintenance. Want to get an Estimate of Effort involved in the update? Examine this Earlier Eyesore!

Must see to appreciate. Eyeball, Extol, Expand!  The End.

Letters, oh we get letters… Here’s something to snuffle over from Burbed reader Kiki:

I would love to see some analysis on South Bay snout houses.  Why are there so many? It’s like mullets at Wal-Mart.

Do they sit on the market longer than other house styles? Is that a punishment? Do people actually like them or do they settle because of … ahem … “inventory” available?

I don’t think anyone has ever done a published, peer reviewed analysis on snout houses (because the people who would be interested in that sort of data sure don’t want to share it). I’m in Santa Clara – I know of one tract developed in the 1950s that’s almost ALL snout houses. It’s east of Lawrence & north of El Camino (yes, El Camino runs East-West in Santa Clara) and runs east to about Kiely. I’m not sure how far north the sprawl of snout goes but I can surf google earth later today.

thank you for your delightful daily snark. I love what you’re doing.

Given the location, location, location that Kiki provided, we went to Redfin and saw what was available.  Answer: nothing you can buy that’s particularly snoutside, but looking at recent sales yielded a winner from 1954 on our first click.

And in that same general area, no snout about it, different from the first one yet so much the same, and also from that excellent year of 1954.

Asnout these homes… yes, they do seem to be clustered in this area.  But we’ve featured this style of home before, and they aren’t all in West Central Santa Clara.

For example, here’s one we ran at the beginning of this year.  It’s all snout and nothing else to face.  It’s also not in Santa Clara, but in San Jose.  Such a delightful frontage, wonder why it took ten months to sell. No, it didn’t take ten months, it sold this October.  And also this June, so it’s a snout-flip.  (The June sale took 3 years to happen, and then sold for 1/3 less than the 2000 sale price.)  Wow, instant equity!

But there are all kinds of snout houses, just as there are all kinds of buyers and sellers.

F’rinstance, this lovely little luxury lulu in Milpitas (on the left, above) is better than the usual snout house, because it has bunus snout.  Contrariwise, on the right is a Mountain View maisonette, or as Burbed reader bmwman91 put it, a “single-nostril snout house.”

This delightful domicile à droit (that’s at right for the realtards following along from their home offices) looks like it could fit in a tract with any of the others up top, but this middle-class muzzle-mansion is in Atherton. Yes, it’s in the cheap-ass part that’s practically Redwood City, but it has an Atherton mailing address and more importantly, an Atherton property tax bill.

Let us know about snout houses you’ve seen, visited, or even lived in.  Or let us know about anything else you want, because it’s also time to get your schnozz into a Weekend Open Thread!

Update 10:07 PM: How could we forget this ode to snout housing from 1986? Put your hands together for David Byrne, who anticipated what endless expansion of exurbia would lead to.  This is a clip from True Stories.

2898 Bouveron Ct
San Jose, CA 95148

$329,990

The science fiction that you only dreamed about is here. Text now randomly pops up when you visit properties.

I bet this house says “Please wait while 19051 other buyers are touring, bitch!” when you step up to it. What else could it possibly say?

But, as they say – true love is always worth the wait…

Yesterday’s featured property in Milpitas was well-received, so let’s return to the City of a Thousand Aromas with this great find from Burbed reader nomadic!

682 KIRKWALL Pl, Milpitas, CA 95035
$788,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 2,690
$/SQ. FT.: $293
LOT SIZE: 10,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Mountains
YEAR BUILT: 1982
COMMUNITY: Milpitas
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81118480
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 63 days

PRICE REDUCED!! NICE HOME IN A GREAT AREA OF MILPITAS. 4BEDS/3BATHS, 3 CAR GARAGE. BEAUTIFUL BACKYARD AND NEW LANSCAPE OF FRONT HOUSE. NEW INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR PAINT. SUNROOM BUILT WITH PERMIT. TOTAL SQUARE FEET OF THE HOUSE: 3000sf.

Here’s what nomadic thought of this NICE HOME:

The neighborhood across the freeway from today’s featured house is filled with snout houses with HUGE noses.  Check out this hideous example.  Fitting street name too: as the Redfin agent helpfully points out, it’s next to the sound wall for the freeway.

But wait!  That’s not ALL you get!  How about this poorly lit living/dining room? The same effect in the bedroom?

The late 80s kitchen décor?  The two-tone ceiling in the bedroom? 

The indescribable feeling you’re in a shotgun shack in a 2,690 square foot house?  The mismatched marble-like surfaces in the bathroom?

Good thing they included those gorgeous pictures of the back yard.  You’re really going to enjoy that holiday from the humdrum by relaxing out here instead of staying indoors.

Ahhhh!

Many thanks to burbed reader sonarrat for finding this “hidden treasure.”  Wow.

5534 Starcrest Drive, San Jose 95123
$499,900

Beds: 4
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,697
$/Sq. Ft.: $295
Lot Size: 6,327 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Ranch
Stories: 1
Year Built: 1962
Community: Blossom Valley
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81028558
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 1 day
New Listing (24 hours)

Hidden Treasure in Blossom Hill. The garden with built in pool and outdoor area is just luxurious and you would think you are in the hills of Saratoga. .. .WOW. .. .must see. Unbelievable floor plan flows, step down from the large eat in kitchen to the open family room, great room, dining area with spectacular fireplace, lovely eye catching chandeliers. Perfect for family parties. Garden sold sep.

You would think you are in the hills of Saratoga, but you’re trying to convince a bank to let a short sale go through.  And even if you can convince them to think they’re in the hills of Saratoga, you’re offering less than $500,000.  In Saratoga, that won’t even build a pool house.  You would think the bank would give you a pool and a house?

You would think that for half a million dollars, your house would show more than just the garage when you drive up to it.  WOW.

You would also think that if the bank were serious about selling, they would think about some of the decor that prevented you from thinking about the Saratoga Hills.  Large photographs of family members have this way of interfering with “Imagine yourself in your very own home.”  You would think you are in the living room of some unlucky homedebtor instead, and you would think, “What if this is still overpriced and I end up underwater like these people?”

The unbelievable floor plan just flows.  You would think these liquid metaphors are ill-advised with so many mortgages under water.

Then when you step into the garden with built in pool and outdoor area and you would think you are in the hills of Saratoga, the agent will remind you that said luxurious garden is sold separately.  After all, you may think you are in the hills of Saratoga, but you step down to Blossom Hill.  WOW.