Today’s house shows the importance of architectural design rules, such as balancing all the elements on each wall.  In this case, perhaps they were followed a bit too literally.  Our thanks to Burbed reader holyzoo for this superlative structure in South San Francisco!  Pending?  But of course!

Please enjoy this Guest Post, and give holyzoo a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome as today’s Guest Blogger!

114 B St
South San Francisco, CA 94080
$575,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,270 Sq. Ft.
$453 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1953
Lot Size: 6,144 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 29 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: Bi/Split Level
County: San Mateo
Style: Contemporary
Community: South San Francisco (Industrial)
MLS#: 81304306

A great home in lovely South San Francisco. This lovely home is located on a large corner lot. 3 large bedrooms, 2 full baths. including a mastersuite, Large spacious kitchen, dining area off the kitchen, nice size living room, 4 car attached garage, lots of light thru out the home. very private location, perfect place to park a lot of cars.

Well I have lenders jumping through hoops to see how much of a shovel I can have them hand me.  So far it looks pretty sweet.

So the search continues to see if something can persuade us. 

Which leads to this bizarre anomaly. 

It’s a bargain at $595k for a 3/2 1270sq/ft. SFH that looks like an apartment, no?

There’s an open house this weekend and we are there.  The listing agent gets crafty – "very private location, perfect place to park a lot of cars", or dead bodies?

Let’s see if we can even figure out how you get to the house?

Here’s the bird’s dropping, er, I mean, bird’s eye view.   Say you need a new roof?  Mr. Roofing is a turd throw away. 

Now from the street named end, looks like a dead end to me.

Then from the 1st street past someone else’s teardown, I think we have solved the mystery?  Just *sneak* past the neighbors with my entourage of cars daily and nightly and see if they dare screw with ME!

These guys had no clue how to get there either. 

Longtime readers of this site might remember that Our Founder had this thing about pink houses.  Every once in a while we find a really Special one to keep the Dream alive!  Here’s a winner in South San Francisco, and you’ve already figured out what we meant by “winner,” didn’t you?  We mean that you can buy this house for only twice as much as your brother in Akron paid for his 5 bedroom spread on an acre.

826 W ORANGE Ave
South San Francisco, CA 94080
$325,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
930 Sq. Ft.
$349 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1945
Lot Size: 4,240 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 4 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: San Mateo
Style: Ranch
Community: Avalon Park
MLS#: 81233867

Great location in Southwood. Short stroll to the Library, and Adult School. Fixer upper, probate sale requires court confirmation. 1st showing on Sunday Sept 16 from 1 -4 PM. Termite inspection report and disclosure package will be available by Sept 21, 2012. Offer to use probate bid form provided in disclosure package. Seal bid to be delivered to listing office by Oct 16, 2012 before 5 PM.

Oh goody, court confirmation!  So this is a perfect house for you if you hate pushy agents who want you to fill out paperwork yesterday, and you’re not in much of a hurry to live anywhere, and you prefer vintage fixtures.

And at a whopping 930 square feet, it’s not like you’ll have enough room to move more than one U-Haul truck’s worth of furnishings.

Definitely check out the (only) bathroom, and then look under the cabinet for some bleach to clean your brain from any aftereffects of this photo.  There’s more photos of the other rooms on the listing!

But hey! The house is definitely pink and it can be yours… in October… we hope… just in time to paint it orange for either Halloween or to match the street name.

117 FRANKLIN Ave
South San Francisco, CA 94080
$369,900

This house isn’t actually that bad – I mean, it’s only $457 per square foot. And look, it’s got a “separate” storage room. Sure it looks like it’s slightly leaning in the photo, but you’ll be enjoying views of that pole for years to come.

And, check out this fence:

You don’t want a fence that says “I’m 1%”. You want a fence that says “I’m 99%”. And this, my friends, is that fence.

63 Randolph Ave South San Francisco, CA 94080

$399,000

Beds:	2
Baths:	1
Sq. Ft.:	750
$/Sq. Ft.:	$532
Lot Size:	-
Property Type:	Detached, Full, Single-Family Home
Style:	Bungalow
Year Built:	1941
Community:	South San Francisco
County:	San Mateo
MLS#:	366712
Source:	San Francisco MLS
Status:	Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin:	94 days

Very nice and clean starter home. Remodeled kitchen w/ granite countertop. Living/Dining combination. Newer roof. Location, Location, Location. Not a short sale. Not an REO. Will close in time for someone looking for tax credit. In very good move-in condition.

326 CASTILE Way, South San Francisco, CA 94080 | MLS# 80950128
$1,250,000
326 CASTILE Way South San Francisco, CA 94080

Beds: 4
Baths: 3
Sq. Ft.: -
Lot Size: 0.28 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Contemporary
Stories: 2
View: Green Belt
Year Built: 1999
Community: South San Francisco (Industrial)
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 80950128
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 25 days
Used to be model home, master bedroom was expanded. It used to be a 6 bedrooms house. now it has a big Master Bedroom and a loft. Do not crash Appointment only!!!

Thanks to Burbed reader sonarrat for this find.

As we all know, Realtors know the most about the market, and the hordes of buyers waiting on the sidelines. That’s why this Realtor had to explicitly call out “Do not crash” because otherwise desperate buyers, waiting to buy anything, will storm the house and snap it up.

Really, these buyers should just buy without looking inside, after all, that’s why there are no interior pictures!

It’s fascinating how this 6 bedroom house was expanded to be a 4 bedroom house. But let’s face it, it used to be a model (back in 1999 I guess) so it is still hot hot hot.

And… it comes with on a .28 acre lot. Let’s take a look!

Oh yeah. That’s quite the lot. I love especially how it tapers off at the very end. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Yeah… this would make a great miniature golf course! That’s where you’d put the windmill!

240 JUNIPER Ave, South San Francisco, CA 94080 | MLS# 80834807
240 JUNIPER Ave South San Francisco, CA 94080
Price: $350,000

Beds: 2
Baths: 1
Sq. Ft.: 740
$/Sq. Ft.: $473
Lot Size: 3,500 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Contemporary
Stories: 1
Year Built: 1906
Community: Old South SF/Rocca
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 80834807
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 269 days
LOOKING FOR A BARGAING? Fantastic Opportunity For anyone including contractors. Lots of Potential in this 2Bed/1Bath and 1detach car garage Home, plus 2Bed/1Bath in-law in basement with separate entrance(not warranted). New pluming and electricity. Good commuter location. Needs some work. Don’t Miss This One. Here’s Your Chance!

This house may need some work. Like making it visible! Actually this house was built originally as part of the government’s continuity plan. You see, by making it hard to find, terrorists can’t get to it. They just never got around to adding concertina wire to the fences on either side – but you can do that. Cool huh? If you like privacy, this house is for you!

And now it can be yours. It’s a BARGAING! And at $473 per square foot, definitely super affordable.

There. Now the Bay Area (unreal) is affordable. Problem solved.

115 FRANCISCO Dr, South San Francisco, CA 94080 | MLS# 80844119
115 FRANCISCO Dr South San Francisco, CA 94080
Price: $449,000

Beds: 5
Baths: 4
Sq. Ft.: 2,920
$/Sq. Ft.: $154
Lot Size: 4,770 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Year Built: 1948
Community: Francisco Terrace
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 80844119
Source: MLSListings
Status: Pending Without Release
On Redfin: 174 days
One Big Heck of a Wreck – Bring your Check!

It’s Friday!

I thought I’d share with you further proof that the affordable housing crisis is now solved in the Bay Area. Check it out! A 2,920 sqft home, 5/4 for just $449k! That’s $154 per square foot.

Let’s take a look inside, shall we?

They always say that honesty is the best policy, and this Realtor’s description is not only apt, but catchy.

I can’t help but to think of Grey Gardens (which I saw this week) when looking through these photos. Except that this house is located in beautiful South San Francisco, and not somewhere snooty like East Hampton.

Are you brining your check?

300 El Cortez Ave, South San Francisco, CA 94080 Francisco Terrace MLS# 80845235 – Property Details

300 El Cortez Ave, South San Francisco, CA
$399,000

* Status: Active
* Bedroom: 2
* Bathroom: 1
* Year Built: 1950
* Lot Size: 3780
* Square Footage: 970
* List Date: 11/13/2008
* Garage Spaces: 1
* MLS#: 80845235
2BD/ 1BA Bungalow with a convenient SSF location. Possibilities for this house are endless! This home’s large corner lot provides a perfect opportunity for a contractor/buyer looking for a home to put their own touch on. The LR leads directly into the DR. It?s perfect for entertaining! Both BD?s are well proportioned and have an abundance of light. The Eat-In kitchen has the opportunity to shine!

Here’s what Burbed reader Jeff had to say:

Not pictured: El Camino Real, See’s Candies factory

Literally. This dump is right next door to the See’s Candies factory..
and it’s on a frontage road right in front of El Camino. I was wondering how long it would take for this house to pop up on the MLS, and now I know.

Wow… easy access to chocolate. Sign me up! I think what Jeff is missing on though, is that the living room leads directly into the dining room.

Let me repeat that.

THE LIVING ROOM LEADS DIRECTLY INTO THE DINING ROOM. Hot damn! I’m tired of houses where the living room leads the bedroom, the bathroom, the sunroom, the datacenter, the garage and then dining room. This is an amazing improvement – a feature that you will never see anywhere else.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving – this house is perfect for entertaining guests. You wouldn’t want them to stumble through the bedroom, the bathroom, the wine cellar, when walking from the living room to the dining room after all – would you?

521 2nd Ln, South San Francisco, CA 94080 MLS# 80831073 – Property Details
$449,000

* Status: Active
* Bedroom: 2
* Bathroom: 1
* Year Built: 1925
* Lot Size: 1750
* Square Footage: 650
* List Date: 8/30/2008

* Garage Spaces: 1
This cute affordable home is not a distress sale. Owner has finished years of remodeling and is ready to sale. In the last 5 years owner has replaced the roof, exterior siding, interior sheetrock, all windows, back stairs and remodeled bathroom. In the past 2 years owner has remodeled kitchen with stone counter top, wood cabinets, new gas range, replaced water heater and central air heating system

Let’s face it, the tech sector hasn’t done as amazingly well as we had hoped this year. On the other hand, biotech is going to rock. Why? People keep getting sick!

It’s only a matter of time before South San Francisco becomes the next Palo Alto… or the next Atherton! Biotech! You think $691 per square is expensive – better buy now – $900 per square foot is right around the corner!

Plus, with a house this small, you’ll be able to spend more time at work working on solving the next major human illness. See, you’re helping humanity by owning this home.

If you’re not buying it, you don’t care about people. Sorry.

508 Rocca Ave, South San Francisco, CA 94080 Parkway MLS# 80759381 – Property Details

$680,000

* Status: Active
* Bedroom: 3
* Bathroom: 2
* Year Built: 1956
* Lot Size: 5096
* Square Footage: 1150
* List Date: 10/24/2007
* Garage Spaces: 2

* MLS#: 80759381
Come see this great starter home in one of South San Francisco’s most popular neighborhoods. 3 bedroom, 2 baths, hardwood floors throughout, large private,rear yard. NOT A SHORT SALE…..JUST REDUCED $40,000

Wow… who knew that dual tone houses were such a rage. Lately I’ve seen quite a few! You know what it reminds me of?

Oh come on… you don’t see the resemblance?

In any case, this is located in one of South San Francisco’s most popular neighborhoods – you know, that one. No no… you’re think of the other one. This is the most popular one. Yeah! Exactly!

Buy this house today. Whether you’re in your blue phase, or your minimalist phase, you can live with your multiple personalities just fine in this hot city!