May 26, 2012

Walk to Cupertino Schools!

Thanks very much to Burbed reader B Parker for today’s find on Craigslist!  Ads there rarely last long, so we’ll capture everything for posterity.  Posterity in Silicon Valley terms is probably even less than a Friedman Unit.

$2064 / 1br – 650ft² – Walk to Cupertino Schools from Your Brand New Home! (sunnyvale) (map)


Date: 2012-05-22, 2:24PM PDT
Reply to: see below [Errors when replying to ads?]

120522-brookside-ad

ESXPT220
Belleville Way at Homestead Road (google map) (yahoo map)

  • cats are OK – purrr
  • dogs are OK – wooof
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 3031817347

120522-brookside-kitchen

Here’s why B sent this rental ad in (and we don’t see enough examples of rental ad fail, so we’re quite pleased with this one).

Walk to cupertino schools from your 650sqft 1br apartment

The photo on the Craigslist ad goes to the apartment’s website, which is really great or we wouldn’t have found this awesome kitchen.

But walking distance to Peet’s Coffee AND Starbucks?  SOLD to the caffeine fiend with kids who don’t mind sharing your bedroom!

Comments (50) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:10 am






April 17, 2012

UPDATED: Two Million Dollars for a Sunnyvale House. Good Luck with That.

Recently, we took a look at a house in Midtown Palo Alto that a number of commenters thought was overbuilt for the neighborhood.  That reminded me of a similarly situated structure in Sunnyvale, so I pulled it up for nostalgia’s sake.  What a delightful surprise to discover that it’s once again for sale!  It was relisted just in time for April Fool’s Day, and at the same attractive price as it was three years ago.

1474 VALCARTIER St
Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$1,999,000

120406-valcartier-redfin

BEDS: 6
BATHS: 4.5
SQ. FT.: 4,790
$/SQ. FT.: $417
LOT SIZE: 8,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: French
STORIES: Tri-Level
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1991
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81211851
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 7 days

Extraordinary six-bedroom, four and one half-bath custom estate perfect for executive lifestyle of luxury and unmatched class. Within this showcase home you will find a remodeled ONE-OF-KIND gourmet kitchen featuring best-in-class appliances with close access to the formal dining room, casual family room and truly alluring outdoor venue that is perfect for entertainment.

120406-valcartier-kitchenThis time around, they’re not letting us see the inside.  And it would need a lot of pictures, because this property has a FAR of 0.60.  That can’t even be LEGAL in Sunnyvale. 

But, this is a Custom Bahl Home!  And if you haven’t heard of Bahl Homes, they built a few tracts around Silicon Valley, including some zero lot line curiosities and the snout-house “patio homes” just around the corner from this place. Now that they’re done with building tracts, they remain as a real estate company. Fortunately for us, today’s house has its own webpage on Bahl’s site, with pictures even!  We don’t know when these were taken, though, as it’s been listed and sold many times since its construction.  Have a look at those pictures and more, after the break.

(more…)

Comments (65) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

November 10, 2011

HOW MUCH do you want CUPERTINO SCHOOLS?

Today’s listing is courtesy of Burbed reader Swan, who sends us a Sunnyvale spectacular.  That’s provided that by “spectacular” I really mean “OMG what a crapbox!”  Seriously, I have had my eye on this house for several years and have been waiting for it to get listed so I could share it here.

 

1035 W HOMESTEAD Rd, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$899,999

image

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,890
$/SQ. FT.: $476
LOT SIZE: 7,171 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1958
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81146339
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 4 days

Very Nice Eichler with enclosed Attrium and Cupertino Schools, Spacious Living Room and Family Room w/ a gorgeous fireplce, Master Suite w/ Walk-In Closet, Tile, Attached 2 Car Garage, Large 7200sf lot with a Pool, Indoor Laundry, additional 500sf with enclosed Attrium not on MLS, West Valley Elementary, Cupertino Middle, Homestead High! This Home will sell fast, all offers considered. Needs TLC.

imageHere’s what Swan thought about this delightful domicile:

It’s on Homestead, right next to the entrance to the CMS [Cupertino Middle School] track.  My hubby and I have noticed this house for years as it becomes more and more run down.  I love how the agent says the home will sell fast.  I went by it on my bike the other day.  The house needs a new garage door, new fence, new roof, and who knows what else.  Though the agent did not go out of his way on the photos, he at least took them from an angle and from across the street to hide the poor condition of the home.

I agree that the price is insane. That home, especially the roof, has not been cared for in years. My husband is a contractor and every time we go by, he says, "That poor house."

image

imageI am just happy the owners listed this place while it was still standing upright.  I don’t know when the Streetview shot above was taken, but it could hardly have gotten much better.

But that asking price? On what planet will this pile “sell fast”?  Are there really people out there that eager desperate for Cupertino schools?

Remember this place?  At least it’s on a court (right off another busy street) and it isn’t moving for $30K less, with lucky 8s instead of 9s).

imageI also love that this place has an Attrium that has an additional 500 sf not on MLS.  Maybe the realtard made a spelling oops and is really saying this house is full of expensive rare earths like Yttrium!  It must be important, because the Attrium is mentioned twice, just like the Cupertino schools.  I SAID CUPERTINO SCHOOLS, EVERYBODY!

Now, everybody into the pool!  Ahhhhhh.

So who would buy this?  Somebody who really, really, really wants those schools.  Somebody who wants them enough to put up with a busy street near a freeway interchange, a house falling to pieces, and the delightful shrieks of children being forced to run the mile over and over.

image

Comments (16) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

September 19, 2011

Here’s Another Chance at those Cupertino Schools!

Today’s listing is courtesy of Burbed reader Swan, who noted that this property is right up the street from the Butte-ugly house. But it’s also literally steps away from this one we featured back in March.  The price, however, is not just steps away.  Your job is to figure out why!

 

1548 S BERNARDO Ave, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$795,000

image

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,435
$/SQ. FT.: $554
LOT SIZE: 7,956 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Mountains, Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1956
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81135131
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 24 days

Award winning cupertino school, Hardwood floors throughout great large yard for the Family, Convient location

Ah, I’ve figured it out already.  This house only has “award winning cupertino school.”  The other house down the street was “with all three good Schools- West Valley, Cupertino Middle, Homestead High (FUHSD).”  It even ordered us to “Compare the price to other homes with all three Good schools!”  So it’s two schools better despite being on the exact same block!  That should cover eighty thou, no problem.  After all, if you don’t claim the schools, you don’t get the sale.  Don’t believe me?  Ask the owner on Butte Court how fast that place turned over since being listed 31 days ago and counting.

Meanwhile today’s tragedy is asking $80K less than the one up the street that wouldn’t shut up about schools.  Someone ought to take that pricey house down a peg and remind it that CUSD is a failing school district anyway.

image

image

image

image

These pictures re-emphasize what a crapbox we’re looking at, but at least this house seems to have included a refrigerator.  And a convient location.  To the freeway.

image

Comments (18) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:15 am

September 2, 2011

Staged for sale: Garage converted into a large well

Here’s a great find in a decent part of Sunnyvale, which is like the quality line of Velveeta products, or the Premium label at JC Penney.  You know it’s not that terrific, but it’s better than what the typical shopper buying that brand is going to get.

 

1090 BUTTE Ct, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$903,000

image

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,380
$/SQ. FT.: $654
LOT SIZE: 7,752 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1957
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81134393
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 23 days

Staged for sale. Court location, just off of 85 freeway. Fresh interior paint. New flooring and crown molding accent. Great year around patio room, makes for great office. Garage converted into a large well finished multi-purpose room and separate laundry. Updated kitchen. Detached workshop taken as is. Large landscaped yard.

imageMaybe this listing needs to be translated from Realtardese back to English.

Staged for saleAs opposed to staged for impressing the neighbors

Court locationSee you in bankruptcy court

just off of 85 freewayThis is completely 100% true!  If the house were any closer you could use that solar-powered call box!

image

Fresh interior paintTo cover up all the blood, phlegm and tobacco stains on the walls

New flooringAbove dripped onto the old flooring

and crown molding accentOwners need dental work AND elocution lessons

imageGreat year around patio room1957 was the bee’s knees!

makes for great officeSince every year after then was a pretty ordinary one

Garage converted into a large wellIt was pretty easy, we didn’t repair the roof and let the water collect

finished multi-purpose roomYou can eat AND watch TV!

and separate laundryGet to work! Darks here, lights here, bright colors in this basket.  Don’t put your clothes drying rack in the garage, we converted it into a well.

imageUpdated kitchenPremium Formica with Naugahyde stools in harvest gold and avocado green!

Detached workshop taken as isLeaving you with none of it

Largecompared to lots in South Palo Alto

landscaped yardWe didn’t rip the lawn out yet.

Oh, oh.  You know what they didn’t say?  There’s no mention of those amazing CUPERTINO SCHOOLS.  Gasp!  Is this seller not aware that this house has CUPERTINO SCHOOLS?  And the Realtard didn’t mention it either?  Maybe none of them know!  Hurry!  Buy this house before they figure it out and mark the price up to $1,088,888!

Comments (16) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:08 am

May 14, 2010

Drought? What drought? Wash your car twice!

$899,500

image

Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,406
$/Sq. Ft.: $640
Lot Size: 6,254 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Ranch
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1961
Community: Cupertino
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81020758
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 11 days
Gorgeous home in nice neighborhood- Upgraded kitchen w/ maple cabinets, grantnite slab counters, and built-in microwave oven. Recessed lightings. Copper pipes. Dual pane windows & sliding door. Hardwood flooring in living room, Laminate flooring in kitchen & dinning room. Fire Place in living room. Updated all doors. Top Cupertino schools Homestead/Cupertino/West Valley. Easy access to 85/101/280.

Thanks to Burbed reader Madhaus for this guest post. Take it away, Madhaus!

Drought?  What drought?  Wash your car twice!
Admittedly, this is not the year Northern Californians are worrying about water conservation, but it’s only a matter of time before the reservoirs are 20% full and we’ll be calling out Southern California again for stealing our water.  What’s felt like a rainy year is merely 116% of normal San Jose rainfall, and most of our reservoirs are below capacity.

So if you’re worried about buying a new house just for the privilege of watering your own lawn, and then not being allowed to use any water, here is the perfect home for you.

clip_image001You’re probably wondering where the house is in the photo above.  No problem, here’s the “cover photo.”  I just wanted you to admire all that greenery and wonder how you’d keep it that way if we have another low rainfall year.  You could do some “hardscaping” and cover the front lawn with low-maintenance asphalt.  It will look a lot like the photo anyway, since this Realtard wouldn’t invest in a wide-angle lens and took the photo from the sidewalk across the street.
Or, you could take advantage of a terrific feature not called out in the property listing.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, the place has a shower over tub, a dishwasher, sprinklers — although those sprinklers won’t do a lot of good if your water gets rationed.  Are those Real Cupertino Schools going to make up for an eyesore like a dead lawn?
A number of people are going to drive over to check out this property, and most of them are going drive away even faster.  This house has “Easy access to 85/101/280.”  And by easy access, they mean just steps away from 85 and 280!  Just steps!  Close your eyes and pretend you’re hearing the seashore!  And the part about 101?  Well we all know Realtards like to stretch the truth a few miles.
clip_image003
Okay, okay, so there’s a few too many freeway ramps near the property.  But do you see those big white circles?  Those are WATER TANKS.  A humongous water tank right across the street from you!  Plus a spare!  Are you thinking what I’m thinking?  Are you handy with tools?
clip_image005
Plus, think of all the shade you’ll get on those hot summer afternoons!

Comments (29) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:24 am

April 12, 2010

With Real Cupertino Schools

Thanks to Burbed reader Madhaus for sending in this guest written post. Here it goes:

901 Cascade Drive — With Real Cupertino Schools

Here’s another typical overpriced house in a “special” zip code.  What makes 94087 so special?  Some of it has REAL CUPERTINO SCHOOLS!

image

Can you think of anything else to explain the price these sellers are asking?  $1.15 million?  (Whoops, cut to $1.099 million!)  AS IF!  The last $1.15 million sale in this tract went down in Spring, 2008, which just happened to be the local market peak.  And the property was on a 9500 square foot lot!

Let’s take a look at this one.  Oops!  Not quite as generous, is it?

 clip_image004

Oh, dear, that looks like quite a busy street only one house away.  Oooh!  Looks like this house is on the corner of a couple of arterials! Well, let’s go inside, shall we?

The original design in this tract is an L-shaped 4/2 with a large living room.  901 Cascade has had some remodeling done in the 1970s.  The garage was turned into a room with a half bath and a laundry room off it.  Since the new space was set up as a formal living room, the effect of these

utilitarian offshoots is jarring.

 clip_image006

Here’s a view of it that cleverly leaves out those rooms that don’t belong.

A free-standing garage was built next to the front bedrooms, ensuring little sunlight.  A continuous roofline/gating thing connects the garage with the former garage, giving the house some unity of concept but hey, it’s still an awful shade of olive green.

The smallest front room had a doorway (not a door) installed from the entrance hallway and is used as a piano room.  The two rear bedrooms, including the master, were extended five feet into the back yard, so they don’t seem as pitifully small as the front rooms are.

The hardwood was nicely done throughout.  Homes in this 1956 tract do have hardwood floors, usually covered with carpeting.

The kitchen made no impression.  Probably not enlarged at all but the appliances are newer than 1980.

clip_image008

The front shared bathroom appears to be either the fifties original or a very old update.  The master bath was enlarged to replace the tiny shower with a smallish jacuzzi tub.  The tiling looks old and feels dated.  Well, what do you expect, with a remodel done in the early 1970s?

The agent is from Willow Glen (clearly a wanna-be ZIP who doesn’t know about Special) and obviously doesn’t know this neighborhood.  Yes, it has REAL CUPERTINO SCHOOLS, but even so, this is overpriced. Corner undersized lot, too close to Mary Avenue, schools threatened with layoffs and severe budget cuts, 2008 peak sale of 1.15m was on 9500 sf lot on quiet street.  Agent admitted this Green Home was listed for $1.2m last summer and the sellers didn’t get the price they wanted: 1.15m.  Now they’re just asking for it up front.

Not many other visitors, either, just 2 couples, one when we arrived and one as we left.

Evidently the agent decided to drop the price after a month of no “serious” offers, and now it’s Pending Without Release.  Given that only ePraisal estimates this home as being worth anything remotely near that, do you think those those REAL CUPERTINO SCHOOLS will keep adding as much value as they had?

clip_image001

Comments (31) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:38 am

March 11, 2008

Contest: Insert your own caption for this Sunnyvale house!

MLS-2.com: Property Details
544 CASHMERE CT, Sunnyvale,CA,94087 – $899,000

544cash.jpg3 Beds 1540 Sq.Ft. Aprx. 2 Car Garage MLS#: 770834
2.0 Baths 4,356 Lot Size 39 Yrs Old Aprx. List Date: 2008-01-09

What’s new on MLS-2: Search by % Price Drop // Search by “MOTIVATED SELLERS”

Description – 544 CASHMERE CT, Sunnyvale,CA,94087
?Gorgeous Newly remodeled European Single Family House Cupertino Schools. Immaculate, priced to sell and move in.Quiet, convenient prestigious and established neighborhood? Vaulted cathedral ceiling; Efficient, elegant floor plan and style. New roof . Easy living Excellent Cupertino schools: Nimitz elementary, Cupertino Middle, Fremont High

I thought I had seen everything – but this one… well… this takes the cake. Frankly, I’m speechless. I was thinking of making a joke about an armory. Or a 1960’s mall. Or a shipping container.

But frankly, none of them seem to do this house justice.

So – what would you say about this house?

Comments (43) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:41 am