We are done with the April blogging challenge, so let’s get back to what made Burbed what it is: ridiculously overpriced crapboxes! And what better place to find it than in our very favorite city, Palo Alto?  Thanks much to Burbed reader Pizzawillcome for this, um, thing you could seek shelter in if you absolutely had to.

3375 STOCKTON Pl
Palo Alto, CA 94303
$1,299,900

4 Beds
2 Baths
1,716 Sq. Ft.
$758 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1958
Lot Size: 6,400 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 52 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: South Palo Alto
MLS#: 81307408

Classic Eichler home with central atrium. Nice backyard. Large utility room can also function as a den, office, or playroom.

Here’s why Pizza sent in this house:

I didn’t pull the trigger on this one, and now it is back! Same pictures as a month ago. Gotta burb-alert it now.
Unfolded laundry on the couch and floor, littered stuffed animals and toys. When I get bored with overly staged houses, I think of this one.

Fortunately, the Redfin agent has some useful comments to share as well!

Original condition! That’s excellent news! None of those second-rate replacements of vintage pressboard walls.  But these photos just sell the house, don’t they?

And note how the use of light draws your attention in to all the details.

That is, if you can see them. This technique seems to work just as well in the outdoor shot of the yard, demonstrating just what kind of a professional we’re dealing with.

So, if a house is for sale in the Real Bay Area, but it’s on a street named for somewhere that is Most Certainly Not In The Real Bay Area, how high will the overbids be?

Yesterday we showcased the cheapest house we could find in Napa County.  Today we continue with our vineyard labors.  Except, we’re late to the grape-stomping.  Burbed reader JL sent this one in a couple months ago and we’re only now getting to it.  We apologize to all our readers who would have bought this house instantly if only we had featured it sooner.

18069 VINEYARD Rd
Castro Valley, CA 94546
Sold for $475,000

4 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,991 Sq. Ft.
$239 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1960 
Lot Size: 10,125 Sq. Ft. 
Sold On: Nov 16, 2012
Status: Sold
Type: Detached
Stories: 2
Community: Castro Valley
MLS#: 40589131
Style: Contemporary
View: Valley
County: Alameda

Beautiful upper Castro Valley home with a great private backyard that has valley views. The property has a new roof, interior doors, paint, carpet, laminate flooring, and other miscelaneous improvements recently performed. A must see!!

Here’s why JL shared this house with us.

This one is not all that notable, other than that it’s a really ugly house. But the street view REALLY sells it.

Of course it’s notable! It’s on a street with a name straight out of Napa County, which makes us wonder why the trellis is so bare. 

Yet like yesterday’s home, the photographer gives us some of those artistic stairway views.  Plus the kitchen shot is completely awesome, that is if by awesome we actually mean another word that starts with “aw.”

The street view, you say?

Indeed.  These must be the “other miscelaneous improvements.”

If you haven’t already gotten up at 5 a.m. to start shopping for holiday bargains, you’ve still come to the right place!  Thanksgiving is over, so get on your steel-toed cyber boots, the better to kick your fellow shoppers out of your way!  Yes, it’s time for Burbed‘s Black Friday Sales, where we find the absolute rock-bottom in housing prices all around the Bay!  And we’re opening an hour early just for you!

Here’s how Black Friday Sales will work this year. We’ll again feature the cheapest properties in each county all around the Bay Area, plus some of our favorite cities.  But we won’t forget that our readers are sending in listings as well, so you just never know if each day will be a Sale Property or something else entirely.  You’ll just have to tune in every day to find out.

Let’s begin our sales in Silicon Valley, because even Googlers like to bargain-hunt.  Here we go, the absolutely cheapest house in all of Santa Clara County!  Ready?

8282 Murray Ave #97
Gilroy, CA 95020
$18,000

1 Beds 
1 Baths 
542 Sq. Ft.
$33 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1966 
Lot Size: — 
On Redfin: 38 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Mobile Home (Single Wide), Mobile Home (Expando)
County: Santa Clara
Community: Morgan Hill/Gilroy/San Martin
MLS#: 81237950

Pre-owned, 1966 Kit, 1 bedroom/ 1 bath Single-wide mobile home in a senior park (one owner must be at least 55 years of age). Includes refrigerator, washer & dryer and window air conditioner. Low space rent!

Oh, not what you had in mind?  Even with a low space rent of $560 (which will probably double as soon as you finish signing those papers at the title company)?  Even with 15 pictures?

If you insist, there’s this.

5591 CARRYBACK Ave
San Jose, CA 95111
$245,000

2 Beds
2 Baths
1,121 Sq. Ft.
$219 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1989
Lot Size: 2,184 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 265 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Attached Single Family
Community South San Jose
MLS# 81208122
Stories: 2
County Santa Clara

Good home conveniently located. This is a short sale. Please do not disturb occupants.

Whatever developer named this street sure has a twisted sense of humor, because it’s a short sale.  There ought to be a Piggyback Lane here too.  Be sure to check out the listing history, because this place has gone pending four different times in the last three years, plus it sold in 2000, yes, twelve years ago, for $247K.

What? You want a detached house?  Okay, but this is your very last chance.

2138 HURAN Dr
San Jose, CA 95122
$248,000

3 Beds
1 Baths
912 Sq. Ft.
$272 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1960
Lot Size: 5,150 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 16 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County Santa Clara
Stories: 1
Community Alum Rock
MLS# 81240311

Another opportunity to own this 3 bedroom 1 bathroom single Family home located in San Jose. Very close to shopping centers, mall, and schools. Easy access to freeway 101. Sell is an “AS IS “ condition. Some dual Pane windows. Garage converted but permits unknown.

Oh, we’ve got a winner here! This one has everything! It’s also selling shortly, plus questionable permits and for sale as-is.  The listing copy mentioned the “easy access” to 101, but they didn’t mention the just as easy access to Reid-Hillview Airport. Hope you like the sound of takeoffs and landings!

And remember, more Black Friday Sales to come!

It’s Halloween!  We’d love to hear what you’re dressed up as today, and what your kids are wearing to their Real Bay Area schools!  But first, the trick. 

Burbed reader Tracy Tea House is serving this San Jose special today, and we’ll leave it for you to unwrap.  Remember, Tracy likes Trulia for listings, so you can too.

1747 Vollmer Way
San Jose CA 95116
$429,900

Reduced $20,000 on 10/12/12
Est. payment: 
Bedrooms: 4 
Bathrooms: 2 full, 2 partial 
29 days on Trulia
171 views
Property type: Single-Family Home
Size: 1,658 sqft
Lot: Ask agent
Price/sqft: $259/sqft
Year built: 1947
MLS/ID: 81236242
Neighborhood: Alum Rock, 95116

San Jose, CA – Single Family Detached
Description provided by Trulia
This Single-Family Home located at 1747 Vollmer Way, San Jose CA is currently for sale and has been listed on Trulia for 29 days. This property is listed by CENTURY 21 Alpha for $429,900. 1747 Vollmer Way has 4 beds, 4 baths, and approximately 1,658 square feet. The price per square foot is $259. The property was built in 1947. 1747 Vollmer Way is in the Alum Rock neighborhood in San Jose, CA.

Here’s what you get when you ring this doorbell:

Lord Voldemort’s street… This one scares me and the listing croppy is just that, strange and mystifying. Seems like, from the satellite,  there is some kind of evil carnival located on the street behind.

Listing copy?  We see no listing copy here.    Redfin says, menacingly, “There are no remarks available.”  Maybe Lord Voldemort… disposed of it… along with the lot size the agent won’t disclose online. Hint: 6477 sf per Redfin. They also have three completely different photos, including this kitchen as classic “before” snap, and a yard perfect for burying mistakes.

Now here’s a treat: pictures inside the house from three years ago.  Plus an even older listing (nine years! for $388K! with overbidding!), no photos but actual description:

MOTIVATED SELLERS HAVE ALREADY FOUND REPLACEMENT HOME AND READY TO MAKE A DEAL NEW ROOF HAS BEEN DONE WITH GUTTERS * * * TILE KITCHEN, FRENCH DOORS TO BACKYARD CENTRALLY LOCATED TO FREEWAYS AND SHOPPING * * GARAGE CONV. PERMITS UNKNOWN

Like Dr. Frankenstein, we’re digging up pieces all over the place to assemble this monster.  Movoto cached the recent listing description!

Price:  $429,900
Loan Payment:  $1,497/mo
Bedrooms:  4
Bathrooms:  3
Size:  1,658 sqft
$/Sqft:  $259/sqft
Type:  Single Family House
Year Built:  1947
Lot Size:  6,477
Days on Movoto:  26 days
Neighborhood:  Alum Rock
MLS#:  81236242
Status:  Pending – Do Not Show

This is a very large home at a reasonable price. Look no further for these one`s in a life time opportunity home. Close to all convenience for your benefit.

That does sound creepy.  Have a look at the carnival and Happy Halloween!

If you’re looking for a house, or simply enjoy looking at houses, sometimes you may think that they all are starting to look alike. (Well, except for yesterday’s featured folly.)  Today we find out it’s true, courtesy of Burbed reader Dr. Jim.  The doctor is in, and he wants this Los Altos Hills listing to say “Ahh, instant equity!”

27540 Sherlock Rd
Los Altos, CA 94022
$1,649,000

Zestimate® $1,655,794
Est. Mortgage $5,754/mo
Beds: 4
Baths: 3
Sqft: 2,056
Lot: 119,790 sq ft / 2.75 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1952
On Zillow: 130 days
MLS #: 81219574
View Virtual Tour (opens new tab)

Private Retreat on 2.75 Acres with views out to the Bay! 2 level home with opportunity to remodel or expand. Wrap around front deck showcasing the view, paneled cathedral ceilings with exposed beams, spacious rear deck and patio with spa and fire pit. 4.2 kW solar panels (6400 kWh per year) supply much of the home’s electricity & heat the hot tub. Excellent Los Altos schools!

Since we had to showcase one property, we chose the 540.  Any listing that doesn’t lead with the front of the house must have a problem somewhere.  It’s peppered with photos (like these) that we suspect are not to be found anywhere on those 2.75 acres.

Now here’s what the doc had to say about this precious pair of properties:

I’m still enjoying Burbed immensely.

Here are a couple of listings in Los Altos Hills that use the same picture for the purported view.  Perhaps we should cut the realtor some slack because the street name is the same. 

However, he is looking at $100k in commission for these two babies, so I’m not cutting him any slack!  I think the street name is very appropriate, given my incisive powers of observation!

No ship, Sherlock! Click on either picture to observe the Zillow listings for yourself.  The photos are #13 for 27223 and #10 for 27540.  Also the former had a $100K haircut so far.  Just sayin’.

We note a couple other curiosities besides the matching photos (which may not be on either property).

1. According to Redfin, these properties are in Los Altos Hills.  But the Zillow entry states they are in Los Altos.  One of them rejects your realty and subdivides its own!

2. Speaking of Redfin, only 27223 is listed, and the duplicate photo has mysteriously been removed from the collection.  27540 is not to be confused with 27640 Sherlock Court. (which looks like it needs a big ol’ Burbed hug of its own someday).

Today’s house is absolutely, positively, we promise and pinky swear, really, truly NOT IN MOUNTAIN VIEW.  It isn’t even in Palo Alto.  Today, we are headed up to Contra Costa County, where Burbed reader J from Alameda has a little real estate riddle for us.

Meanwhile, are you someone who doesn’t live in or look at houses in Mountain View or Palo Alto?  If you find one that’s #winning, send it on over!  Heck, send us more houses in Mountain View and Palo Alto too.  We’re willing to point and laugh at almost anything.

30 QUAIL Xing
Moraga, CA 94556
$3,100,000

$3,100,000 Price
1 Beds
1 Baths
1,200 Sq. Ft.
$2,583 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2010
Lot Size: 53.71 Acres
On Redfin: 258 days
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
Community: Rancho Moraga
MLS#: 40554737
Style: Ranch
View: Hills
County: Contra Costa

Newer 1200 SF Guest Cottage sits on 4.35± acres w/ flat building pad for a 5700± SF home, 6 stall Castlebrook barn, sport court & 360 degree view. 2nd parcel of 49± Agric. zoned acres has 2.5± acres planted w/ 3100 vines & expansion to 20+ acres possible. Abuts EBMUD open space and trails.

Here’s why J sent this in:

Over the hills and through the woods….I just had to send this in (not going anywhere fast) its just such an incredible RBA price per square foot – $2583 – but not in the RBA. Now you get a lovely barn, sport court and ‘guest house’ with one bedroom and one bath….some teeny tiny grape vines – and yes, that lovely cement pad just waiting for its 5,700 sf, give or take – house. What, by the way is sport court? And, it’s not even in the RBA! It’s a long way down the hill(s) to get on Orinda Bart (yes, Bart) to get to RBA land. Or the other hill into the backside of Oakland.

And the realator was nice enough to note – those 40 some odd acres are zoned agricultural – meaning, I imagine, no subdividing. What, exactly, was the original buyer thinking? Spec guest house? Forget to leave some money in the budget for the house?

Ps – out looking at houses on Sunday and drove by the half finished house – the one with the lovely garbage can shot on Olympic (Lafayette?) – I recognized the plywood. Looks about the same.

Wait, wait, you left out the best part.  The street name is half English, half Mandarin!  We can’t figure out if it’s named for where the quail are run over by vehicles or merely shot by Dick Cheney.

Today’s listing is another outlier to the hot, hot, HOT housing market in Mountain View.  Maybe you can spot what’s wrong with this house, because just about everything else is flying off the shelf.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this leftover listing.

590 PENNY Ln
Mountain View, CA  94043
$825,000

BEDS:  3
BATHS:  2.5
SQ. FT.:  1,196
$/SQ. FT.:  $690
HOA DUES:  $174/month
LOT SIZE:  3,255 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT:  2002
COMMUNITY:  Rengstorff
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81214154
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN:  68 days

Welcome to Penny Lane, where homeowners can enjoy living in the heart of Silicon Valley. New construction home replete with modern amenities and detached garage.

Replete?  Somebody was paying attention when those SAT words were passed around.

Now we need another word for wtf is going on with the garage (above).  The Beatles song it calls to mind is NOT “Drive My Car” because you’re never going to get it past those killer zombie vines.

Here’s a picture of the front of the house, just in case you suspect the agent took that bizarre first shot because there’s something to hide.

Oh no, it’s too late!  The whole house is GONE!  If you can hack your way through, maybe there’s a sleeping princess in there.  Could it be Lovely Rita?

Let’s finish up the week with a visit to the wonderful world of Woodside.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for this rococo residence that may have you ralphing.

110 KENMORE Way
Woodside, CA 94062
$1,699,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 3.5
SQ. FT.: 3,460
$/SQ. FT.: $491
LOT SIZE: 1.04 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Mountains
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Woodside Hills
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81218775
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 21 days

Enjoy this spacious, single-level, View Contemporary features 3 Bedrooms, 3.5 Bath plus formal Library/Study, on a quiet, private cul-du-sac in the highly sought-after Woodside Hills community. Live-in, remodel to suit, or build anew to take advantage of this huge 1.04 * acre lot with sweeping western hill views. The home at its prime was featured in Architectural Digest and Gentry Magazine.

That first sentence doesn’t scan at all.  It starts off telling you to enjoy the house but gets lost in panting over the features.  Just because you’re spending over a million on a house doesn’t mean you should expect a realtard capable of proofing his own copy.  Anyway, here’s why nomadic sent this property in:

This house isn’t that bad, but a phrase in the copy is amusing: “the home at its prime was featured in Architectural Digest and Gentry Magazine.  When?  I’d guess around 1960.  Hmm, according to their website, Gentry Magazine (apparently a pretentious publication) was established in 1993.  That hardly seems possible!

1993?  Then what’s with the mermaid on the website?  Splash came out in 1984, and even The Little Mermaid beat the 90s by a month and a half.  But if you read the current issue online, page 5 has a much pricier place in Woodside with the same high-falutin’ terms as eBay.  Yup, a minimum bid and a Buy it Now price.

Okay, back to this house.  “The house isn’t that bad”?  How could it be bad?  It has mawbul kawlums!  Some of the other photos, though, suggest someone with too much money and no understanding of the term “less is more.”  Because when it comes to the photos of this house, more is definitely not more.  Maybe someone should tell the agent that plastering his name prominently across every single listing photo only adds to that “gilding the gold-plated fixtures” feeling.

And that doesn’t include the utterly pedestrian street name.  Look, if you have enough wealth to buy in Woodside, you do not want to live on a street that reminds you of your mother’s crappy dishwasher.  Maybe you could make a donation to the Mayor’s favorite charity in return for a declaration renaming the street Miele Manor or Bosch Boulevard.  If you need inspiration, start leafing through Gentry Magazine.

Coming soon!  We can’t wait!

Tired of high prices in Palo Alto and its environs?  Don’t lower your standards, broaden them! After all, with the return of the housing bubble, you can pay high prices all over the Bay Area!  And some sellers think you’ll be willing to pay high prices at the very edges of the Bay Area.  You’ll know housing insanity has returned when you see a house like this one for a price this, um, dreamy.

Many thanks to Burbed reader Tom Paine for passing along this super spread in Sebastopol!

2881 Scotts Right Of Way
Sebastopol, CA 95472
$898,500

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 2,567
$/SQ. FT.: $350
LOT SIZE: 1.82 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Residential, Detached, Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Golf Course, Greenbelt, Vineyard
YEAR BUILT: 1974
COMMUNITY: Sebastopol
COUNTY: Sonoma
MLS#: 21101823
SOURCE: BAREIS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 488 days

Unique property on almost 2.0 Acres. The home is located over looking the Sebastopol Golf Course to the South and grapes to the North. Horse facility for at least 5 horses, tack room, paddocks, stalls, and more. The backyard is landscaped and includes a beautiful pool and spa with a waterfall. Private driveway.

Listed almost a year and a half ago for $998,500 and still on the market after a $100K reduction! Maybe it hasn’t sold yet because the right buyer hasn’t toured the house yet.  The kind of person who buys a house like this probably is cross-shopping Palo Alto.  The driveway (above) is just like what you get in fine Palo Alto houses, as is the excellent living room.

And just look at the kitchen!  Ready for your gourmet recipes, yum, yum, yum.  Then when you’re all cleaned up after dinner, well, lights out!

Plus a really memorable street name, if by “memorable” we actually mean “wow, that is incredibly stupid.”

There are a number of ways to measure whether a market is favoring buyers or sellers.  Right now, it’s Spring selling season, and the buyers are definitely out there.  It’s a challenging time to buy, because there’s much less for sale.  So is it really a sellers’ market, or are the sellers waiting until prices go up even more?

Today’s find from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer shows that even an unloved listing will find a suitor in this market.  This home went pending last week after a price reduction, and the agent promptly pulled the photos down.  But that didn’t stop us from checking every real estate site until we found them for you.  Today’s I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-violating-their-MLS-contract site is ZipRealty!

179 HAMWOOD TER
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA 94043
Listed for $849,999, reduced from $869,000

3 bedroom, 3.5 bathroom, 0.0 partial bath, 1,612 square feet, Single Family

Lot Size: 1,742

Year Built: 2007

Neighborhood: North Whisman

School District: Mountain View Whisman Elementary School District, Mountain View-Los Altos Union School District

FIPS: 06085

APN: 160-81-013

Source: Public Records
Walk Score^®: 43

This is a Single Family home located at 179 HAMWOOD TER, MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA. 179 HAMWOOD TER has 3 bedrooms, 3.5 full bathrooms, 0.0 partial bathrooms, and approximately 1612 square feet. The property has a lot size of 1742 square feet and was built in 2007.

We found the photos, but there’s no listing copy, just boilerplate assembled by a computer.  Although several living, breathing Real Estate Professionals could have come up with “has 3.5 full bathrooms, 0.0 partial bathrooms.”

The reason PG sent in this home (other than this excellent photo of the spacious deck) is that the house previously sold near the peak of the bubble market.  2008 was post-peak for most areas except the Special parts.  We’d have to look at the other first-time sales in this development to determine if this was as rich as it got.

Sold on June 18, 2008 for $820k and it is now on the market for $869k. Anybody thinks it has gone up $49k since 4 years ago? Or is it just in hope of breaking even after commission?

You mean It was on the market for $869K!  At the reduced price the FBs won’t break even, unless they had a pet agent who would sell the house for free.

Even the homes that weren’t selling are now selling.  And this one is full of location win.

Close to freeway, tasty street name, conveniently located steps from historic Superfund sites, what more could anyone ask for?