Are you determined to have a Palo Alto address without the dreaded qualifier “East”?  Have we got a Black Friday DEAL for you!

740 Ellsworth Pl, Palo Alto, CA 94306
$725,000

Beds: 2
Baths: 1
Sq. Ft.: 828
$/Sq. Ft.: $876
Lot Size: 4,480 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
Stories: 1
Year Built: 1949
Community: Midtown
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81026128
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 198 days

Front Porch, Hardwood Floors, Light and Bright single story home with many possibilities. Located in great area close to shops, restaurants, and schools.

This description is Zen-like in its minimalist simplicity..  You get a front porch, hardwood floors and the house is Light and Bright with many possibilities.  First, let’s take a look at the great area.

Excellent!  You’re in the MIDDLE of everything!  This location is outstanding in its FIELD.  Plus you can go to sleep each night to the gentle lullaby of tennis balls thwacking against the fence.

Now, let’s take another look at the house, because the agent felt just one is all you need.  But to consider all the possibilities, another view can help.

Whoops, that looks like the wrong house above.  The agent’s photo clearly showed a garage on the left with blue pinstriping detail, no doubt because the listing will move extra fast  Seems the GoogleCamCar ran out of gas driving down this dead-end street and only made it 2/3 of the way.  How convEENient!  But we do have the spycam view, at left.  Sure looks like a lot of extra structure in the back of the lot.

And that’s good!  Extra value for your money!  That small building against the back fence might run you $250, maybe as much as $300 at OSH!

The agent also neglected to mention a high-end feature this house offers: a tub with jets.  Bet you didn’t know you could run your own airport out of this place!  I suppose that’s why it’s zoned R3G; the G is for Ground control.

I suggest you jet quickly on this one.  It originally listed for $799K back in May, and somebody made an offer for it in September.  Now it’s back on the block.  Are you going to let a DEAL like this leave you at the security check-in?  Of course not!  Buy NOW or the get the real estate equivalent of an enhanced pat-down forever.

So, with a week to go until Christmas, do you want more DEALS or have you finished all your holiday shopping?  Be sure to let us know in comments, especially if you want a bargain in a particular location, location, location!

Black Friday’s been over for weeks, but the DEALS continue!  And today’s house has something for everyone.

939 E Bayshore Rd, East Palo Alto, CA 94303
$180,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,510
$/SQ. FT.: $119
LOT SIZE: 4,500 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1966
COMMUNITY: East of U.S. 101
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81057092
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 1 day
NEW LISTING (24 HOURS)

This is an actual HOUSE with four bedrooms and two baths, and it costs so little Redfin won’t represent you in the transaction.  Plus you’re only a couple miles from Facebook HQ, at an asking price more suited to Wal-Mart Greeter wages.  (With a $36,000 down payment, a 30 year fixed at four and a half percent will run $730 a month.)  What’s not to like?

Let’s see why the agent didn’t take the time to drive by and snap a photo for us.  First: location, location, location means E-Z Freeway Access!

That big 4500 foot lot needn’t suffer when you build your own freeway onramp across the street.  Now, let’s admire the house you can pick up for less than the cost of a Virgin Galactic ticket or a Prive mobile phone.

Perfect!  And Patriot Properties is the “Number One REO Broker in the Bay Area!”  We must be at the right place, because I bet there’s a 1906 REO in that garage.  So I wouldn’t worry that Google disavows any connection with this property (see upper right).

Here are a couple more views.  This one is a little further north up Saratoga (which is a much classier street name than Bayshore, and you get this upgraded street name included in the low, low price).

This view is slightly south of the first photo, as you approach Bay Road.  It’s great that the seller has helpfully included a high-quality fence with this aggressive pricing.  And given the dynamics of this exciting neighborhood, you’re going to be glad it’s there!

I hope you like having neighbors close by, because in this case, it’s going to be unavoidable.  But you’ll be just steps away when you need to borrow a few ammunition clips.

I know these pictures are getting you very interested in buying this property now now NOW, but you’re probably scoffing that this is yet another unloved patch of dirt that nobody wants and the bank can’t wait to get rid of.  Not true!  Just look at the sales history!

Property History for 939 E BAYSHORE Rd

Almost half a million in 2004?  That’s practically three hundred thousand of instant equity waiting for you to unlock, provided someone hasn’t already stolen it.  Now aren’t you glad there’s a chain-link fence already installed?

When a property has been listed for a year and hasn’t sold, there’s a problem somewhere.  Your mission today is to find out why the house with the lowest price per square foot in 94087 can’t get a closing date.

1058 Lois Ave, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$950,000

Beds: 6
Baths: 4
Sq. Ft.: 2,930
$/Sq. Ft.: $324
Lot Size: 6,000 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Contemporary
Stories: 2
Year Built: 1953
Community: Sunnyvale
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80948844
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 379 days

Great home for a large family or for a family that needs inlaw quarters. Lowest price per sf ($324) in 94087 area code. 6 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, 2 bedrooms and bathroom downstairs can easily be inlaw quarters. Bonus room, office, family room, living room, large kitchen, large dining room, large backyard, large utility room. Homestead High School, Cherry Chase Elem. Definitely the best value in Sunnyvale.

94087 used to be in the RBA, but this house ensured that zip will never be invited back.  This traitor to doubling every ten years sold on 10/31/2001 for $680,000.  It was listed in April 2009 for an unknown amount, and taken off the market in October.  October 2009.  Then it was listed again for $998,888, with the price reduced to $950K in March.  Taking away all those eights didn’t improve its luck.

Maybe the problem is the vanishing second floor.  When you look straight at it, it disappears.  It even fooled the GoogleCam.  You can see daylight through the trees.  That’s just like not seeing a vampire in a mirror, only it’s a Halloween house and a camera, and you can see the bottom floor fine.  Plus all the trash cans!

Meanwhile, the poor lonely house is still waiting for a suitor.  Can you give it some dating advice before another Halloween passes by?

This occasional series has looked at several listings on the same street.  First there was the English Garden Shed, then the Vampire Frat House, and our latest Lincoln link was Limestone and Marble and Rock, Oh My! (the one with MAGICAL GARDENS near a busy street).  We’ve run through three neighborhoods: Community Center, Professorville, and Crescent Park; and three building styles: English Cottage, Craftsman, and Spanish. 

Today’s featured property finishes us right back where we started: English Country in Community Center.  The house is still for sale, but the price is a mite higher.

750 Lincoln Avenue, Palo Alto, CA  94301
$2,750,000

Beds: 5
Baths: 4.5
Sq. Ft.: 3,321
$/Sq. Ft.: $828
Lot Size: 5,625 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style:
Country English
Stories: 2
Year Built: 1998
Community: Community Center
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81034935
Source:  MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 8 days

PICTURE PERFECT & TRADITIONAL with stone exterior covered in Boston Ivy * High ceilings, detailed moldings, quality finishes * Full basement w/ recreation room * Romantic English garden for sweet indoor/outdoor living * Great neighborhood with lots of family action in walking distance: Community Center (park/libraries/theater/clubs/special events); Schools(Addison/Jordan/Paly); & alluring Downtown

Now that’s a new real estate term for today: Family Action.  I’ve heard “Fun for the whole family isn’t,” so maybe “Family Action” has them each running for a different neighborhood feature.  But at least this house isn’t hiding any extra floors on railroad tracks, the agent was kind enough to spell out most of the ad copy, and even threw in a few asterisks to show us how exciting Family Action can be!  The garden may not be MAGICAL but at least it’s sweet.  And no sign of vampires, with or without a Stanford degree.

Why hasn’t this PICTURE PERFECT & TRADITIONAL house sold yet?  It’s got Boston Ivy!  That means Harvard!!! 

Look, you can hardly see that dreadful lemon line in the lower left corner.  Wow, what’s with that funny orientation of the lots on this block?

Perhaps it’s the neighbors?  Or the neighbors’ vehicles?  This is right across the street, but as bad vehicles go it’s pretty innocuous.

It’s certainly easier on the eye than the house directly across the street:

Wow.  Looks secure.  Maybe it’s an extraordinary rendition center.  Hope they soundproofed the interior walls!  On the plus side, no chance of parking RVs on the lawn.

Update: The house still on the market after 30 days.  No doubt it’s in “Soon Pending” status!  So what if it sold for $2.3 million just 5 years ago?  If it will be double in ten years, it should be up by half now!  Remember, to get Real Bay Area price, all you need is one Real Buyer!  Preferably a Real Buyer who doesn’t know Real Issue about which side of 94301 is the best location.

In our previous installments, we saw a very small house priced under a million, and a very large house priced (and in contract within a month) under eight of those millions.  Since the first home was a 2/1, and the second was an 8/4.5, we can surmise that getting four times the rooms should probably cost four times the cash.  But it didn’t.  It cost eight times as much.  Why?

One of these homes was not like the other, one of these homes doesn’t belong, can you guess which house was not like the other, because its location was wrong!  Yes, the house that’s one eighth instead of one fourth the asking price is on the wrong side of the great divide better known as Middlefield Road.

Or is it?  Let’s take a look at today’s house, on the same side (but not the same neighborhood) as the garden shed.  It’s not too big or too small, but is it just right?

1270 LINCOLN Ave Palo Alto, CA 94301
$2,568,000

Beds: 4
Baths: 4
Sq. Ft.: 3,040
$/Sq. Ft.: $845
Lot Size: 9,711 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Spanish
Stories: 2
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1985
Community: Crescent Park
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81015526
Source: MLSListings
Status: Pending Without Release This listing is in escrow, past inspections and waiting for loan funding. "Without Release" indicates that the current buyer doesn’t need to sell a home to buy the new home.
On Redfin: 111 days

GORGEOUS SPANISH STYLE HOME ON A LG PRIVATE LOT IN PREMIER CRESCENT PK NR DNTOWN. COURTYARD ENTRY & SPECTACULAR SETTING IS W/ MAGICAL GARDENS, PATIOS & FOUNTAINS. SPACIOUS LIGHT-FILLED FLR PLAN OFFERS APPR 3000SF, HDWD FLRS THRUOUT, HI CEILINGS, CROWN MOLDINGS, SPACIOUS RMS, EXTENSIVE USE OF LIMESTONE, MARBLE, GRANITE. LG ATTACHED 2-CAR ATTACHED GARAGE. EACH BDRM HAS ITS OWN PRIVATE BATH

I wish the realtard would stop SHOUTING at me!  Even the agent for the broom closet had the courtesy to use lower case.  And for two and a half mil, don’t you think they could spring for spelling out all the words?  No, I do not want to say “hi” to the ceilings or find out what’s in that flour plan.  Wondering how spacious the rams are.  Or are they rums?  Maybe it belonged to a chip designer and they’re ROMs. At least the $8M house had “roooms” so I could guess what they rly wr.  But good move spelling out “LIMESTONE, MARBLE, GRANITE.”  PRIORITIES.  How does Limestone and Marble and Rock, Oh My! sound for this listing?

One more thing.  Do you think the GARAGE is ATTACHED?  I want to b sr.

Now, this property is taking a price hit for several reasons.  First, it’s extremely close to a rather busy street:

Next, we already have the ideal formula for bedroooms to bathroooms from our previous two homes: 2 br for each ba.  This house violates the golden realty ratio by having excess ba, so twice as many toilets to scrub.

These two flaws could easily knock twenty or thirty percent off the price of a home.  Another oddity could pull it down some more: the home is advertised as a two story, but the second one is very well hidden.  So well hidden it may be apocryphal, legendary, or really creative marketing (a fancy term for “lying”).  As in: the second story is telling you the house has two floors.

No second floor here…

Where could it be?

Not in the COURTYARD ENTRY & SPECTACULAR SETTING IS W/ MAGICAL GARDENS, PATIOS & FOUNTAINS.

Perhaps it is at the end of these railroad tracks:

No sign of a staircase inside, either.  Is this place really two stories?  Better take another ten percent off our appraisal just to be sure.

So why is this house about a third the asking price of the Vampire Frat House when it’s 60% the size?  The corrections above don’t add up to 67% off.  I’ll tell you.  Location, location, location.  This house is in Crescent Park, which is simply on the Wrong Side.

One last apples-to-apples comparison.  In the other neighborhoods, find the worst vehicles nearby.  Here’s what passes for hillbilly in Crescent Park:

It’s a toss up between this, which is mitigated by being parked in front of the house being sold. So maybe the sellers will take it away.  What the heck is it, a Lada?  A Trabant?

Two-stroke engine mystery
vehicle versus… the horror of public transportation on this very street!

So much for a beautiful day in the neighborhood!  Stay tuned for the next installment of Wrong Side Right City.

In a previous post, I asked whether location was all there was to pricing real estate.  Looking at several homes on the same street, their position, and their list prices would help answer this question.  The first home was a small 2/1 in a “fantastic location” for just under a million.  Let’s see what’s on the same street but on the Other Side of that cruel boundary between sort of good and Real Good: Middlefield Road.

365 Lincoln Ave Palo Alto, CA 94301
$7,995,000

Beds: 8
Baths: 4.5
Sq. Ft.: 5,505
$/Sq. Ft.:$1,452
Lot Size: 0.72 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 3
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1907
Community: Professorville
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81024865
Source: MLSListings
Status: Pending Without Release This listing is in escrow, past inspections and waiting for loan funding. "Without Release" indicates that the current buyer doesn’t need to sell a home to buy the new home.
On Redfin: 62 days

Special Opportunity to own one of Professorville’s largest lots & historic homes. Built in 1903 by Stanford Professor Leander Hoskins, this graceful craftsman style home is 5,511 sq ft & has 8 bedroooms & 4 bathroooms on a 31,500 sq ft lot. Fine example original craftsman woodwork. A broad inviting veranda welcomes visitors. Walk to Downtown & Stanford University. Please do not disturb occupants

That photo looks a bit… threatening.  Lights are on but it’s still daytime… but not for long!  The house seems like it’s crouching down low, preparing to spring onto your chest, knock you down, rip out your throat and force you to sign an eight million dollar real estate offer without contingencies.  And no eights in the price, yet!  But it’s a “Special Opportunity.”  It’s so special, the “bedroooms” and “bathroooms” are pre-stocked with extra haunting ooos.

It’s sooo special, that you’d better be able to handle the cognitive dissonance of a “broad inviting veranda” that “welcomes visitors,” except you’re not supposed to “disturb the occupants.”  Guess that broad inviting veranda is off-limits, eh?  But ask yourself, what kind of occupants would there be in an 8/4.5 near a major university?

Two words.  Frat house.  With extra ooos.  Take a look at the photo above, again.  Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Vampire frat house.

While you put on your carbon-fiber neck protector, savor this lot.  Look how it takes up the space of more than four tall or two grande properties, and just lolls onto both Lincoln and Waverly like a well-played Tetris piece… without actually being on the corner!

Heh.  I said loll.  And lolling is what you get to do when you live on the Better Side of Middlefield.  Too bad you can’t buy the Vampire Frat House, though.  It’s pending, and loooks like it was delisted a month ago, probably when someone walked in and said “Ooo!  8 bedroooms and 4 bathroooms!  Sooold!”  Loooks like you’re priced out forever, but the ooout-of-tooown sellers are making the city very happy.  The old tax valuation was (ooo!) $175,246.

To be fair, I went up and down the street loooking for unsightly vehicles, but this was the worst to be found.  The next worst was the Post Office truck.  But I do like how this photo shows the hired help gazing longingly at a house he wishes he could live in.

You see, this is the Better Side (even if you have to leave garlic on each windowsill)!  The neighbors keep their cars tucked behind hedges and trees, so only the transient workers’ jalopies remain.  Next time, we’ll Return to the Dark Side. Be there or be a Tetris piece!

Here’s another in our series of our seven-digit properties.  Unlike Thursday’s San Jose house, this one is much closer in.  In fact, this one is so close-in, it’s on El Camino Real.  Or at least El Camino Real del Sur.

1645 The Alameda, San Jose, CA 95126
$2,998,000

BEDS: 7
BATHS: 7.5
SQ. FT.: 7,500
$/SQ. FT.: $400
LOT SIZE: 0.47 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
STORIES: 3
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1919
COMMUNITY: Central San Jose
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81005748
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 129 days

Completely restored “One of the Original” Grand Mansions. Dialed in top to bottom. Impressive statement property. 4-unit compound currently set up for a work/live environment, but many options. Gorgeous main hse, restored in 2002,3-suite office-recpt area, full kit & bath. Sep guest hse rebuilt on sep lot on Randol-3bd/3ba. Oversized prking courtyard, New 5-car garage w/ apt above added 2002.Too much to list

It’s not every day that a house with a 5-car garage comes up for sale, especially one that already has all the parking it needs.

Definitely a “live/work environment!”  Let’s see who your new neighbors are going to be!

Can’t wait to meet them!  But if you’re going to cross the street for a cup a sugar, better do it during business hours.

Here’s a look from the side.  How many of the buildings are included with the sale, I wonder?

I see one advantage of this place already.  There’s no Google Streetview of the front of the house!  How many people can make that claim?

The compound seems to include the “Owner’s Living Quarters” on the ground floor of The Big House, the Guest House (with 4 bedrooms if you believe the agent’s virtual tour, or 3 bedrooms if you believe the listing), the Garage (with a one-bedroom apartment) and a building to be named later.  The Big House also boasts three office suites (so the emphasis is more on the “work” than the “live.”)  If you’re a Type A who wakes up at 4:30 in the morning to pound out a few dozen memos (after having turned in at 3:30), you could just set up a cot in each office and expect the same from your minions.

Since the listing promised seven bedrooms, your job, burbed readers, is to find the missing ones!  Here’s the virtual tour so you don’t have to bother the listing agent.  First one to find them gets their pick of either a.) Your very own house featured on burbed, or b.) Your very own house never featured on burbed.  Second one to find them gets their house featured twice.

17 RINCONADA Cir Belmont, CA 94002

$750,000

Beds:	2
Baths:	2
Sq. Ft.:	1,270
$/Sq. Ft.:	$591
Lot Size:	2,304 Sq. Ft.
Property Type:	Attached Single Family
Style:	Mediterranean
Stories:	1
View:	Green Belt
Year Built:	1970
Community:	Belmont Woods
County:	San Mateo
MLS#:	81007709
Source:	MLSListings
Status:	Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin:	24 days

Rarely available one level unit. Updated kitchen with black granite counter tops and white cabinets. Two patios one off the living room with access to green belt and pool and another patio off bedrooms with a hot tub. Unit shows well.

First, let’s be clear that this is an attached single family house. There’s a $367 monthly HOA that needs to be paid.

But ignoring that, doesn’t it look like this is just a giant garage? Now granted, it’s got a nice patterned door, but still… it looks like it’s just a garage for sale. Let’s look at a street view:

Uh… huh. What a strange, strange design. Why didn’t they build something over this garage? I’m definitely not getting this architectural design. But you might! And if you do, this can be yours for just $591 per square foot!

1755 PEACOCK Ave Mountain View, CA 94043

$1,080,000

Beds:	4
Baths:	3
Sq. Ft.:	842
$/Sq. Ft.:	$1,283
Lot Size:	6,200 Sq. Ft.
Property Type:	Detached Single Family
Stories:	2
Year Built:	1950
Community:	North Shoreline
County:	Santa Clara
MLS#:	81001504
Source:	MLSListings
Status:	Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin:	8 days

Lot clear and ready to build! List price reflects home being built by owner/builder as approved by the city. Permits in place. Plans for a gorgeous meditteranean-style home with great room concept, large gourmet kitchen with island, ground floor bdrm & bath, spacious master suite w/ balcony, 2 car garage & much more!

Why yes! That’s exactly what I would expect for $1M.

Here’s what Burbed reader M.D. had to say:

this one is so hot they can’t even show a pic.  actually it’s not yet built, so you’re buying a dream in mt view.  if the builder thinks that’s a legit price, maybe someone should take away his wood glue – no sniffing allowed on the job.
btw – i live in that zip code and i don’t think anything has sold for over $900k in the past 1 1/2 yrs – probably nothing over 850k. 

Can’t you just imagine the beauty that you can build here? 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms… with great room concept! Sure it may look like a field of weeds now, but with just another $500,000 you can your Mountain View masterpiece.

More importantly, your house will truly stand out from your neighbors. You know what they say – you want to have the best house in the worst street. Or something like that.

If this isn’t a great deal for those with great imaginations, I don’t know what is!

144 TENNYSON Ave, Palo Alto, CA 94301 | MLS# 80952608

144 TENNYSON Ave Palo Alto, CA 94301

$1,450,000

Beds: 4
Baths: 2.5
Sq. Ft.: 2,400
$/Sq. Ft.: $604
Lot Size: 7,500 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Colonial
Stories: 2
Year Built: 1961
Community: Old Palo Alto
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80952608
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 9 days
Great opportunity to build in Old Palo Alto! Approved building plans to build 2 single family homes with shared driveway. Each home is approx. 1875 sq ft with 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths 1 car garage and 1 uncovered car space each. Each home will have a nice size backyard and side yard. Designed by award winning architect Stephen Pogue.

Thanks to Burbed reader Paul for this find.

Everyone’s looking for a great investment these days, and there’s no better one than Palo Alto of course.

So let’s see… if you scoop up this ginormous 7,500 sqft lot, you could build two 1875 sqft homes! At $300 per square foot (only the best granite please!), that would be an additional $1,125,000. So that’s a $2,575,000 investment.

But in the end, each of these houses with their shared driveway and nice sized backyard will undoubtedly sell for at least $1000 per square foot – netting you a total of $3,750,000. Hey hey hey! That’s a return of 45% on your investment. CHA CHING!

Let’s take a look at the present street view to see how this will pan out:

Oh yeah. That’s totally going to look like the listing pic when you build two houses there. And I”m sure your neighbors are going to love it!

What are you waiting for? Even Bernie Madoff couldn’t promise an investment return like this. Go for it today!

(BTW, this house was last sold in 2008 for $1,510,000, so there’s an instant equity angle to this as well!)