December 16, 2013

This home is in need of extensive repairs… Ideally located

Thanks very much to all our readers, all five of them, who keep checking in, hoping we have some new content. Today’s what-the-fuck-is-THAT property has been brought to you by Burbed reader Swan!  Thanks very much!

Want to keep reading fresh new finds at Burbed?  Send us stuff!

131210-myrtle-redfin1072 MYRTLE St
San Jose, CA 95126
$369,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
600 Sq. Ft.
$615 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1920
Lot Size: 6,250 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 54 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
Community: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81338204

Rare Investors/Contractor’s Fixer Upper Special! This home is in need of extensive repairs, or it can be demolished and rebuilt. Zone M1 (Light Industrial) with many possibilities! Ideally located 5 minutes from Santa Clara University next to the beautiful Rose Garden Area. Walk across the street to the newly built Newhall Park with lawns, picnic areas and playground.

131210-myrtle-stuff131210-myrtle-saluteHere’s what Swan had to say about today’s house.

Just trying to help Burbed keep the masses happy!

I am pretty sure this house can’t say, "Done with permits."  I am not even sure it’s legal to live in this place, but the toilet seat is up welcoming the next owner!

We guess that says it all – except there’s way more pictures than this, so you can get an idea of just what they mean by “extensive repairs.”

131210-myrtle-walls1131210-myrtle-walls2

You know what else they forgot to mention? Close to transportation! This is the Nelson Mandela of Close to Transportation because it has accomplished everything.

131210-myrtle-aerial

Comments (1) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:08 am






November 15, 2013

Short ‘n Simple in San Jose

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for ensuring we had some content today.

131114-crestview-redfin738 CRESTVIEW Dr
San Jose, CA 95117
$785,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,481 Sq. Ft.
$530 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1954
Lot Size: 6,660 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 2 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: Traditional
Community: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81340890

There are no remarks available.

Yeah, we’ve been having a month like that.  Now let’s check in with Swan:

Once you see the realtard’s photography skills and the homeowner’s interior decorating skills, you’ll understand why, "There are no remarks available."

131114-crestview-shutters131114-crestview-tv131114-crestview-kitchen131114-crestview-dining

Click a pic to embiggen.

Comments (6) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am

August 14, 2013

Vintage property on Park Avenue, shown by appointmnet only

Sure, Park Avenue is a destination address in The Big Apple. Today’s house, however, is located in a different Big City, namely Wait, That’s A Top Ten City? or as it’s also known, Bigger Than San Francisco? RU SRS?  Being serious, can you name one major company headquartered in San Jose? Neither can we, and we already mentioned a big one named Apple that’s over in Cupertino.  Okay, Adobe, but that’s ONE. There probably aren’t any more.

Meanwhile, we’ve got a Park Avenue property from Burbed reader Swan for you today. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did.  (That is if by “enjoy” we really meant “avoid.”)

130813-park-redfin1083 PARK Ave
San Jose, CA 95126
$599,000

3 Beds
1.5 Baths
1,492 Sq. Ft.
$401 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1925
Lot Size: 6,560 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 97 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Central San Jose
MLS#: 81315666
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

Single family home with additional rooms attached to garage. Showing by appointmnet only.

130813-park-fromstreetHere’s Swan’s song:

Saving the best for last, I give you 1083 Park Ave., San Jose. This listing is full of Burbed Win!  First, five beautiful, out of focus pictures of the front of the house. 

Second, there are some fuzzy photos of the interior.  These pictures start off showing what seems to be pretty decent living and dining areas.  Is that a glass of beer on the dining table?  If so, it goes with the beer ad on the TV! 

130813-park-tv130813-park-dining

130813-park-kitchenThe kitchen, other than the post near the refrigerator, isn’t bad either.   In pictures #12 and #13 we are given a slow introduction as to what is to come.  Have you ever watched "Hoarders?"  Well, pictures 14 and 15 could be right out of an episode!

Before you call the cleanup crew, look at pictures 16 and 17.  Apparently only the storage area is a mess because the bathroom and laundry area aren’t too bad.  Notice the toilet seat is up in the bathroom!  Also, does the random arm in #17 count as a Dude Hanging Out? 

130813-park-another-fine-mess130813-park-neat130813-park-bath130813-park-partial-dho

We aren’t done yet!  Check out Streetview for a bunus!! Porta-potty next door!

130813-park-streetview

That’s an even better bunus than a trash bin! Plus… Holy Jughandle, Batman, is that a sound wall? No! It isn’t!

130813-park-laundromat

Wow, this is exciting! Whatever are they building next door? A liquor store? An adult movie emporium? So many exciting possibilities for making new friends!

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:08 am

August 6, 2013

SELLER PREFERS “AS IS SALE”. FOR GREAT JUSTICE.

Let’s now return to what makes Burbed the destination real estate site for the entire Bay Area. No, we’re not referring to our excellent Bay Area Bubble 4.0 coverage or our extensive featured looks at half million dollar crapboxes.  Today’s entry is what makes the Real Bay Area so very Special: Listings at WTF prices and WTF problems.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for sending in today’s Los Gatos Gotcha.

130805-blackberry-redfin16480 BLACKBERRY HILL Rd
Los Gatos, CA 95030
$1,795,000

3 Beds
3 Baths
3,046 Sq. Ft.
$589 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1976
Lot Size: 5.17 Acres
On Redfin: 28 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81324314
Style: Ranch, Spanish
View: Bay, Canyon, Valley, City Lights
County: Santa Clara

Excellent Candidate For 130805-blackberry-fadeddyeRemodel or Build Dream Home. Sweeping Views From Most Rooms. Upstairs 3BD/2BA/KIT/DR/LR/UTIL. RM. Downstairs Game Room w/ Slider, Office W/ Bath & Large Storage Room. Lots Of Storage, Cabinets and Closets Everywhere. 1.5 Miles From Los Gatos. WATER WILL BE TURNED OFF. DO NOT USE TOILETS. Seller Wants NO CHILDREN in property. .FOR SAFETY REASONS. SELLER PREFERS "AS IS SALE".

130805-blackberry-bath

Let’s have Swan float in here.

[Today’s home] is in the same area as the Kennedy home [submitted last week].  This house is on Blackberry Hill Road:  .  You know it’s Burbed material when then listing starts with, "Excellent candidate for remodel."  In this case, the listing gets even better!  "WATER WILL BE TURNED OFF. DO NOT USE TOILETS. Seller Wants NO CHILDREN in property. .FOR SAFETY REASONS."  There is an open house this weekend.  I so want to go with a full bladder and a few small children who can run wild while I try to use the bathroom!  Be sure to check out the pictures of the lovely wallpaper in the kitchen and master bath!

130805-blackberry-kitchenThat is quite something, although our gaping is for the photo above it of the grounds. It looks like it was taken in 1972 and left in a shoebox so the dyes would age properly.  And it makes the kitchen treatment look almost contemporary. Oh wait, we meant contemptuous. Using that white tile isn’t fooling anyone; that kitchen was remodeled in 1987 whether it needed it or not!

Remember the WATER WILL BE TURNED OFF.  FOR SAFETY REASONS.

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:03 am

July 31, 2013

Party On, in Los Gatos!

We haven’t heard much from Burbed reader Swan lately, so we were delighted to receive this:

One of my favorite posts was "Party House in Los Gatos."  I noticed this house had come on the market again… Believe it or not, the property sold!  They only got $4.8 million for it which is a far cry from the $11.5 they wanted back in 2008!

Wait, 2008? Party House ran in 2011! How could we forget?

130730-kennedy-2011

You might want to take a look at the current listing, because The Party Is Over.  There are pictures indoors but nobody’s Getting Down With Their Bad Selves.

130730-kennedy-redfin15681 KENNEDY Rd
Los Gatos, CA 95032
Sold for $4,800,000

7 Beds
12.5 Baths
12,405 Sq. Ft.
$387 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1991
Lot Size: 3.58 Acres
Sold On: Jul 16, 2013
Status: Sold
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 3
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81317503
Style: French
View: Mountains
County: Santa Clara

Magnificent Gated Palatial French Chateau Estate! Main house 9,000sf, music room, library, wine cellar. Guest house 3,100sf w/ guest suite, caterer’s kitchen, ballroom, theater, game room & bar. Infinity pool, waterfalls, patios & views. Truly a gorgeous estate set on 3.6 private acres. Extreme Quality thru out. Co listed with Frank Grengo

Oh, look at that.  They thought they were being clever leaving out that 2008 listing price from the Redfin listing history (click the link to see it). Good thing the Party House piece saved it for us.  Better yet, the Big Z tracks the falling knife:

130730-kennedy-listing-history

And nice to know agents have a sense of humor! See 8/12/2010 for some of those Realtor Rib Ticklers!

Comments (5) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:04 am

July 11, 2013

3000 SQ FT FALLING DOWN MANSION

130710-santacruz-thermosWe’ve been spending a bit of time in the flatlands, so time to check some elevated listings.  Our thanks to Burbed reader Swan for telling us about this find right off Highway 17. Oops, pending!  Even properties sitting around for almost a year go Pending when someone sends them in! It’s like a Real Estate Thermos. An insulated drink holder keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold. How does it know?

In this case, a correspondent sends in a tired listing… and BOOM! Again, how does it know?

130710-santacruz-redfin25000 SANTA CRUZ
Scotts Valley, CA 95033
$649,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
1,237 Sq. Ft.
$525 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1911
Lot Size: 9 Acres
On Redfin: 320 days
Status: Pending Without Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Scotts Valley North
MLS#: 81231740
Style: Cabin
View: Mountains, Valley
County: Santa Cruz

130710-santacruz-cabinIDEAL ESTATE HOME SITE WITH DIRECT ACCESS TO HWY 17 OR OFF LAUREL ROAD. INCLUDES 1,200 SQ FT GUEST HOUSE, BARN, AND A 3,000 SQ FT FALLING DOWN MANSION. THE MANSION SITE HAS ABOUT 2 FLAT ACRES, SWEEPING MOUNTAIN AND VALLEY VIEWS, CIRCULAR DRIVEWAY, PG & E, & WATER. GUEST HOUSE HAS ABOUT 2 FLAT ACRES WITH DIRECT ACCESS TO LAUREL ROAD. SELLER WILL FINACNE W/ 25% DOWN FOR 3 YEARS.

130710-santacruz-anotherWe don’t have any architecture credentials, but still contend the top picture above is not a cabin.  Now, which of the other two is the “guest house”? Perhaps this is why Swan thought we’d be interested. We certainly seem to have our choice of which crappy building not to live in.

With nothing better to do on a 100 degree day, I am looking for properties in need of some Burbed lovin’!

This may be a Burbed first, a 3000 square foot falling down mansion!!!  Scotts Valley may not be RBA, but $699K (Pending!!!) for a guest house, barn, and falling down mansion on 9 acres – who cares where it is.  Be sure to check out the ideal commute location!

Interestingly, Movoto lists the same address for $5,000,000 in an expired listing.

Oh yes, let’s see that expired listing.

130710-santacruz-movoto25000 Hwy 17
Scotts Valley, CA 95033
$5,000,000

Off-Market
Loan Payment: $19,097/mo
Bedrooms: 2
Bathrooms: 1
Size: –
$/sqft: -/sqft
Type: Single Family House
Year Built: 1900
Lot Size: 9,958,687
Days on Movoto: 649 days
Neighborhood: Scotts Valley North
MLS#: 80914701
Status: Expired

130710-santacruz-gatesMany potential uses/Estate Location/Equestrian Center = Great Trails, Preliminary Study Shows Location may be planted with as many as 130 acres of Grapes – Site is in BEST wine growing location = the Santa Cruz Appleation. Propety suppoorts several homes currently(4); several wells; Barns. Land may be subdividable; there are 9 APN’s Stunning Los Gatos Mountains property, Oaks, Redwoods, Madrone


Unlike the active (whoops, Pending!) listing, this older one can’t be bothered showing any buildings. It’s almost ten million square feet, who needs buildings? That’s 228 acres sitting on the market for 649 days, and only nine acres are in the listing above. That’s pretty good, it took only half the time to sell 1/25th the land!  So if you subdivide this place into a Planned Unit Development with a bunch of 1,800 sf lots, you should be able to get one of them sold in only five months!

Good luck finding what happened to the rest of those properties so you can run some comps. At least the seller will FINACNE W/25% DOWN IN 3 YEARS.  If you’re not sure what to do, just put that FINACNE in your Thermos. How does it know?

Comments (2) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:01 am

May 3, 2013

For your weekend: Happy Ending in Los Gatos

It’s Friday! That means here comes your weekend, so we’d like to present a great location for a Silicon Valley stay-cation!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for sending this one in before the A to Z challenge (THANK GAWD THAT’S OVER IT WAS HARSHING OUR CRAPBOXEN). Fortunately the property is still very much on the market.

130502-wagner-redfin18157 WAGNER Rd
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$7,499,000

5 Beds
8 Baths
8,517 Sq. Ft.
$880 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1999
Lot Size: 25 Acres
On Redfin: 45 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: Tri-Level
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81308591
Style: Traditional
View: Mountains, Canyon, Valley, City Lights
County: Santa Clara

Spectacular transformation! Vastly improved property from two years ago. Complete remodel of existing home with added sq footage, brand new 3100sf toy barn/garage, new 800sf pool house cabana w 500+sf covered patio, over an acre of new cabernet vines, bocce ball court, lacrosse field/sport court, wine cellar, 3car garage, workout facility, 600sf storage rm, outdoor entertaining paradise w pool!!!!

130502-wagner-garage130502-wagner-drumkit

Let’s check in with Swan on this swank setting:

130502-wagner-storageI have many properties I’ve been planning to send you, but I came across the following this morning and it rose to the top of the list:

At first, I thought I’d submit this home because of the realtard’s line, "Vastly improved property from two years ago." What is that realtor speak for?  Then, in looking at the pictures, I realized I’d seen this somewhere before!  

130502-wagner-burbed-121230Yes, a finished home is a vast improvement!  Landscaping helps too!  From the pictures, it seems someone has been living there. The listing history goes on… Be sure to check out photo number 24 of the storage room.  An 8500 square foot home and you need 600 square feet of storage?  The current occupants have sure put the storage room to good use!

Have at it…

Yes, this place looks familiar, doesn’t it?  Or maybe not, since they finished painting and put all those ladders in the 600 square foot storage room.  It sold in May, 2011, for $5.75 million, and these listing photos look a little different than what we covered here.

130502-wagner-kitchen-before

Although we miss the ladders.  Made the place look like part of an Edgar Martins exhibition.

Also, we found the before before pictures.  Don’t miss them (kitchen pictured at left).  They might have asked for $3.95M that round, but they got $1.8.  You really have to check out the property history, because before that it was foreclosed on, maybe even twice in two weeks, and before that it was listed for $7.8M.  Good luck figuring out if it sold for $5.6M, or $7M or both or neither!  This house and its grounds have been nothing but a big and very expensive game of Hot Potato going back all the way to 2000!

So, Burbed readers, why is this amazing estate still on the market after an eternity of 45 days? Do you think the flippers are waiting to collect even more overbids?  Now that would be an even happier ending.

Comments (2) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

December 17, 2012

Too much brush to walk in Woodside

Today’s featured property was sent in by Burbed reader Swan! Thanks very much for this wonderful Woodside win.  (Oh yeah, PENDING!!!!!!)

121216-marva-redfin133 MARVA OAKS Dr
Woodside, CA 94062
Listed at $1,895,000

2 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,400 Sq. Ft.
$1,354 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1961 
Lot Size: 3.73 Acres 
On Redfin: 112 days
Status: Pending Without Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Central Woodside
MLS#: 81231887
Style: Contemporary
View: Canyon
County: San Mateo

Driveway is a slight downslope, house is on the flat, then another downslope on a road to a lower, larger flat pretty area. From there property does go down to Raymundo, but too much brush to walk.

121216-marva-satelliteWe sure like this description of the property.  Here’s what Swan had to say about it.

Let’s start with the realtard listing 3.73 acres in Woodside for $2250.  Why I didn’t jump on the deal then, I’ll never know!  Suddenly, the price went up to $2,250,000 only to be reduced to $1,895,000.  Of course, the listing is pending! 

Anyway, how about the realtard’s description of the property.  Huh?  Say that again?  The Redfin agent seems to sum it up nicely:  fixer.  Oh, and be sure to check the satellite view in Google.  There’s a an RV (or something) with a lovely blue tarp over the top.And, on the back part of the property, a broken down vehicle along with that burned down barn.  I’m sure the surrounding mansions love living next door to the hillbillies!

Wait, what’s this about 3.73 acres for $2250?

121216-marva-prophist

Yowza.  And the Redfin agent?

121216-marva-insight

She did not actually say “fixer.”  Just “open your wallet.”

Comments (1) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:08 am

October 25, 2012

Coals to Newcastle in Los Altos: Opportunity Abounds

We’ve featured a lot of flips on Burbed.  Today’s front-paged fortress is a flip, but that isn’t what brought it to our attention.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for this luscious LOLapalooza in Los Altos!

121024-newcastle-redfin-flip1998 NEWCASTLE Dr
Los Altos, CA 94024
$1,498,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,700 Sq. Ft.
$881 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1956
Lot Size: 10,450 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 21 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: South of El Monte
MLS#: 81236495
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

Stunning one-of-a-kind home with custom details and top of the line finishes. Sits on huge corner lot, with room to expand in the future. Mahogany doors, windows and cabinets, travertine patios and flooring, hardwood planked flooring, marble bathroom surrounds, luscious backyard with fountain and room for entertaining. Great schools, close to freeways. This will be your dream estate!

“Dream estate” may be overstating things a little, especially when you get a look at the outside of the house.  Okay, overstating it a lot.  The inside of the redone house looks nice, but the outside is kind of meh.

But as far as the before pictures, go, this is a dream Burbed property.  Voilà!

121024-newcastle-redfin-old1998 NEWCASTLE Dr
Los Altos, CA 94024
$1,025,000
Sold 6/22/12 for $1,015,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,698 Sq. Ft.
$598 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1956
Lot Size: 10,450 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Jun 22, 2012
Status: Sold
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: Ranch
Community: South of El Monte
MLS#: 81217356

Fixer in beautiful neighborhood. Good bones within this 3 bedroom, 2 bath home that sits on a 10,000 + sq ft lot. Built in the ’50′s it has some charming features that just aren’t found in new construction today. Opportunity abounds.

121024-newcastle-wheelchairLet’s listen in as Swan explains further:

Here’s a link to a house in Los Altos which sold last spring.  I meant to send it in as it deserves the Burbed Housekeeping Seal of Approval.  Love the wheelchair.  Love the basketballs on the floor.  Love the peeling paint on the outside of the house.

Of course someone bought the house, flipped it, and wants $1.5 million for it.

Definitely cleaned up and better looking than before.  However, if you look at street view of the old house, and the realtard’s pictures of the new house, don’t you think they re-used the garage door?  Really?  For all that effort, they couldn’t buy a new garage door?

121024-newcastle-streetview121024-newcastle-front-new

The (old) Streetview peek is on the left.  Here’s an extreme close-up of the garage doors… after the break.  Plus more photos!

(more…)

Comments (17) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

June 18, 2012

AMAZING DEAL WILL NOT LAST

Fire up your tardis and set the controls for two days ago, because there was an Open House on this Evergreen estate and you probably missed it!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for this bodacious botch-up.

3545 EDGEMAN Ct
San Jose, CA 95148
$6,399,999

120616-edgeman-redfin

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 2,699
$/SQ. FT.: $2,371
LOT SIZE: 0.26 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 2
YEAR BUILT: 1987
COMMUNITY: Evergreen
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81219851
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 22 days

Evergreen High School. Open house this Saturday, June 16, 2012, from 2-4pm. PRICE REDUCED 60K. BUYERS RUSH TO SEE THIS PROPERTY. EXCELLENT SCHOOLS. SPACIOUS 4 BEDROOM WITH 1 BEDROOM DOWNSTAIRS. AMAZING DEAL WILL NOT LAST. This is a shortsale with 1 lender only. Will close fast. PLEASE DO NOT CALL. FOR ANY QUESTIONS PLEASE EMAIL alexiatnguyen@gmail. com

Here’s what Swan has to say about THAT:

120616-edgeman-satelliteReally?  $6.3 million in Evergreen?  I think it will be around for awhile.

Talk about a typo.  Listed for $699K  on May 31, price changed to $6,399,999 on June 15.  That’s some price change!

Hope you get to see this before they correct it!

Correct it?  They’re lining up the armored cars for the outsized overbidding that’s going to result from this masterly marketing maneuver.  And it’s not as if this home price history hasn’t already experienced the thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat.

120616-edgeman-price-history

It’s participated in the run-up, peak, and bust of the previous real estate bubble, 3 sales within five years!  Now, after staying with the same owners for almost 20, it will be selling shortly.  Or at least it would if the realtard had counted how many nines she entered.

120616-edgeman-streetview[4]

So here’s one last look at the house, courtesy of Google Streetview. Place your bets on how quickly the new price ends up in that trash bin.

Update: This amazing deal did not last.

120616-edgeman-updated-listing-history

Comments (14) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am