We’re happy to report the first Monta Loma sighting of the year. Thanks very much to Burbed reader LomaLuvr for alerting us to this awesome opportunity!  And once more we’re using Movoto, because they understand the difference between Pending – Do Not Show The House To Lookie-Loos Who Want To Tramp Through The Place and Pending – Do Not Show Photos.  *cough * Redfin *cough*

2348 Jane Ln
Mountain View, CA 94043
$719,000

Loan Payment: $2,543/mo
Bedrooms: 3
Bathrooms: 2
Size: 1,392 sqft
$/Sqft: $516/sqft
Type: Single Family House
Year Built: 1955
Lot Size: 5,400
Days on Movoto: 10 days
Neighborhood: Thompson
MLS#: 81303400
Status: Pending – Do Not Show

3BR/2BA 1392 sf Eichler-style home with 5400 sf lot in great Mountain View neighborhood. Additional office/possible 4th bedroom. Close to Shoreline and Google. Fixer-upper with possibilities!

As opposed to all those fixer-uppers with no possibilities, merely potential.

Possibilities, indeed!  Adding on a room to the side of a house when the lot is only 5400 square feet is an architectural challenge indeed! Plus that gives the bedroom plenty more fresh air, to make up for the lack of natural light in the back.

Also, we think we solved the mystery why the back of the house doesn’t get as much light as the front.  We think it’s the patio shade.  Don’t tell the agents, though.  We wouldn’t want to ruin it for them.

Here’s the other two pictures.

All that perfectly good sky cut out.  Speaking of cutting out, here’s some perfectly good listing copy cut out from both Zillow and Trulia:

As Is probate fixer. Contact Broker at (707) 693-0400 with any questions.

Nothing like a Broker who specializes in the neighborhood you want to buy into.  You may want to double-check if the property really is Close To Google after all.

It’s been several days since we last featured a property in Mountain View, and that means every one that’s been sent in has gone Pending!  Here’s one of them you can no longer buy because you weren’t phoning your agent every single minute.

2343 Craig Ct
Mountain View, CA 94043
Price:  $835,000

Loan Payment:  $2,798/mo
Bedrooms:  3
Bathrooms:  2
Size:  1,104 sqft
$/Sqft:  $756/sqft
Type:  Single Family House
Year Built:  1955
Lot Size:  8,000
Days on Movoto:  18 days
Neighborhood:  Thompson
MLS#:  81239158
Status:  Pending – Do Not Show
Go See This Home Make an Offer

 

* DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!* ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES!* EICHLER STYLE HOME BOASTS HIGH CEILINGS & LARGE WINDOWS FOR PLENTY OF SUNSHINE!*TERRIFIC FLOORPLAN W/ SEPERATE DINING AREA*INSIDE LAUNDRY*LIVING ROOM W/ FIREPLACE* COVERED PATIO*LARGE BACKYARD PERFECT FOR SUMMER BBQ’S!*ACROSS FROM MONTA LOMA ELEMENTARY & MINUTES AWAY FROM GOOGLE, SHOPPING & FREEWAYS! WITH A LITTLE TLC THIS CAN BE THE PERFECT HOME!*

The only thing this house is missing is a million dollar price tag.  It’s got everything else: eye-catching facade, listing pix pulled off Redfin and most of the other major sites (thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for Movoto!), ALL CAPS in the listing copy, along with a misused apostrophe and ENDLESS exclamation points!!!!!!

Bunus: Date stamps on the photos, too.  The only thing left to do is place your bets how high the winning overbid comes in at.

It’s been at least a few days since we featured a house in Mountain View.  Fortunately, this grave error is about to be rectified with a guest post!  Today Burbed reader mabel du will be your guest blogger.  Please give mabel du, Burbed’s very own e.e. cummings, a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome.

Once again, we have a Mountain View property (it’s hot there, I tell you, hot! hot! hot!) that was completely removed from the well-behaved listing sites.  We’ll assume this is another case of Pending/Do Not Show, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect Listing Photos Online.  Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for certain not-so-well-behaved websites, so we can bring you the pix.  Today’s listing laggard is Sawbuck.  Thanks for taking your time!

Update 12 noon: For those without Sawbuck sign-ins, we’ve added a few more photos at the end so you can appreciate teh awesome.

2379 Jane Lane
Mountain View, CA 94043
$799,000

Status: Contract (19 Days)

Bedrooms : 3
Bathrooms : 2
Lot Size : 0.11 ac
Finished Sq Ft : 1,104 sq. ft.
Type : Detached Single Family
Style : Eichler
Year Built : 1955
Subdivision : Thompson
Stories : 1
MLS# : 81231454
WalkScore™ : 72 (Very Walkable)

1344 Sq.Ft.4 bedrooms, Garage converted to sound room/bedroom with private entrance(permits uk)Light and bright with many windows. Remodeled Kitchen and baths, new tile floors in bathrooms, new laminate floor:kitchen & LivingRoom & DiningRoom, new carpet in bedrooms.New Dual pane windows,outside and inside paint.Spa and large storage shed. Monta Loma elementary a block away, Close to Costco/Google

here’s a dilly.  nothing particularly spectacular about the house, but the realtor’s comments?  they’re oh-so-educational.  clearly, the buying public it too stoopid to know what the rooms are, so the realtor titled each picture.

i’d never have guessed what that there room was with all the cabinets and appliancey stuff, but she helped me understand with the label “kitchen”.  and the education continues for each room.  except…

except for the mysterious “Garage converted to sound room/bedroom with private entrance(permits uk)”  curious and curiouser – what could it possibly be???

interesting that her text description doesn’t match to the stats posted on the same page;  4 bedrooms vs 3;  1344 sq ft  vs  1104 sq ft.  but her comment “(permits uk)” pretty much answers the question, in weird circular logic.  assuming “uk” equals ‘unknown’ and not a weird worm hole back to jolly ol’ england.

Update: Added some more photos.  —ed.

Today’s house must be an Olympic-level winner, because three different Burbed readers sent it in.  We’re sure you’ll love it as much as they did.

375 ANNA Ave
Mountain View, CA  94043
$698,000

BEDS:  4
BATHS:  2
SQ. FT.:  1,216
$/SQ. FT.:  $574
LOT SIZE:  5,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT:  1956
COMMUNITY:  Thompson
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81227441
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN:  8 days

Contractor Special! Excellent opportunity to purchase a fixer-upper in a great location in the Monta Loma Neighborhood. Excellent floor plan with private rear yard backing up to Monta Loma Elementary.

Here are the nominating speeches, first from dollarbin:

From the always popular Monta Loma neighborhood we have a hot little “contractor special”.

Only $574/sq ft?  Fortunately, local realtor Pat Jordan’s newsletter has the full story:

“375 Anna Avenue, 3 BR, 2 BA Mardell with 1,216 Sq. Ft. on 5,000 Sq. Ft. lot.  In very poor condition, offers subject to inspection (cannot see until an offer is written, because it is infested with fleas).  Notice of default has been filed.  Listed for $698,000 by Sereno Real Estate. “

I guess I won’t be able to post a first hand account from an open house.  In fact, I drove by tonight and they’re going with stealth marketing, there isn’t even a sign out front.

Not only that, have a look at the Googlecam.  The next-door neighbor is close.  Real close.

Bunus: trash bins!  Next, another nod from mabel du, who was yesterday’s Guest Blogger:

there’s only one pic on zillow or redfin, and boy-howdy it’s a beaut!  doesn’t it make you want to rush to buy this gem?  you could lose sight of your dog or kid in that weedy front lawn.  the realtor is set to make a chunk of money on this place, but he couldn’t drop $50 to get the front yard mowed?!?

“…private rear yard backing up to Monta Loma Elementary” -  oh yeah.  the sounds of screaming kids, intercom announcements, and timed school bells all day long, that’s “private” and peaceful.  (check out the satellite maps)   in case you were ondering – the school bells ring early & often, even on holidays.  so don’t plan on sleeping late very often.

Sleep late?  With all those delightful sounds you’ll be hearing?

Not to mention the amazing history this offers.  Well, amazing listing history.

Looks like this property is back in the RBA, if it can pull off this price double after just 13 years.  Which it really needed, after losing value from 10 years before that.

Listed 7 days and pending already, no doubt because of the easy access to better towns.  Did we mention that Mountain View is hot, hot, hot?  If you don’t believe us look at the trees in these photos.

2546 DELL Ave
Mountain View, CA 94043
$699,000

BEDS:  3
BATHS:  2
SQ. FT.:  1,216
$/SQ. FT.:  $575
LOT SIZE:  5,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT:  1959
COMMUNITY:  Thompson
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81226069
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN:  7 days

Great location in Monta Loma Neighborhood! Incredible opportunity to remodel and make your own! Blocks from Monta Loma Elementary School. 4 bedrooms & 2 bathrooms with over 1200 sq. ft living space. Open living room and dining room, bonus room and large backyard. Attached 2 car garage. Just minutes from the New Village at San Antonio Center with easy access to Los Altos & Palo Alto!

Please pardon us while we try to reboot our eyeballs after yet another HDR attack.  We may also need some potassium iodade pills to mitigate any exposure to the radioactive foliage.

Now, can anyone explain why the realtard chose the “additional” pictures provided?  In addition to all three school facades and the Mountain View Performing Arts Center, there’s a photo of a US Bank with a Starbucks across the street.  Is this a subliminal suggestion that you’ll be rolling in dough from all the new homeowner tax savings?  Or is this photo merely there to show how awesome Downtown Mountain View is, a US Bank and a Starbucks, both! 

Because this is Downtown Los Altos.

The photo on the left is #24 from the listing. The photo on the right came straight from teh Googly Mapz, for 300 Main Street.  Obviously this view is far more classy than one of the Starbucks closer to this house.  Wouldn’t you rather sip your lattes at a more prestigious Starbucks in a mawbul kawlums zip code?  Heck, why didn’t the agent include a picture of Stanford?

What’s that?  Burbed readers want to know about more houses close to Google?  Then you’ll have many thanks for Burbed reader mabel du, with this momentous manse in Mountain View. And it was submitted along with a Guest Post to go with it.  Oh, you can’t buy this house.  It’s Pending.  We told you: Mountain View is hot, hot, hot!  So thanks for getting us all excited for nothing.

Please give mabel du a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome as today’s Guest Blogger!

152 THOMPSON Ave
Mountain View, CA  94043
$819,000

BEDS:  3
BATHS:  2
SQ. FT.:  1,280
$/SQ. FT.:  $640
LOT SIZE:  5,300 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Modern/High Tech
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT:  1955
COMMUNITY:  Thompson
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81221321
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN:  19 days

Charming, updated home in Monta Loma. Close to Downtown Mountain View, Palo Alto & Google. Light filled living room with hardwood floors and fire place. Spacious updated kithen with view of back yard and open to the dinning area. Beautifully landscaped yard with pavers, great for entertaining. Master bedroom with hardwood floors, updated bath and the view of the back yard. Just move in and enjoy.

Yipppee!  Another entry from Monta Loma.  Don’t know where that is???  Here’s all you need to know:   “Close to Palo Alto, Google and other companies.“

F@#k Mountain View!  This house is sooooo close to the land of your dreams:  Utopia, fairies & unicorns.  And it comes with a free choo-choo just yards away.  And by ‘yards’ I mean a mere 4 houses or about 200′.   Wait a sec, my math is off…  First you have to hop over Central Expressway (not so expressy at 8:00am or 5:00pm, tho), then you get your choo-choo.

 

Please allow me to translate realtor-speak “Beautifully landscaped yard with pavers, great for entertainment“ = There’s not one f@#king blade of grass.  Just what every family with kids or pets desires – warm, inviting bricks to play on.  Better stock up on band aids for the skinned knees, and plastic glassware when you entertain on your new, cold, hard reality  (tho, it’ll be about 110* in the summer on that heat sink).

 

 “… and the view of the back yard.”  Nothing is more comforting than staring out a window at an expanse of pavers.  Why not just move into a condo?  You’d have numerous options to select from in Utopia Palo Alto.  Well… there must be at least a couple PA condo options for $819k.

 

I don’t have time for a full rant about “updated bath“ other than:  Two bathrooms, two pedestal sinks…  I can hear the ghosts of Christmas past yelling “Great!  Where’s the f@#king extra roll of toilet paper???”

 

All this for not so much money in the RBA.  Wait…  is Mountain View even in the RBA anymore?  According to this realtor, not so much.  F@#k Mountain View, all you Googlers who really want to live in PA!  

Here’s a Mountain View find flip from Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater, new to the market!  Thanks very much, Michael.

 

155 HAMILTON Ave, Mountain View, CA 94043
$899,000

BEDS:3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,280
$/SQ. FT.: $702
LOT SIZE: 5,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Modern/High Tech, Contemporary
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Thompson
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81143278
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 1 day
NEW LISTING (24 HOURS)

Heavily sought out “Eichler” home! Professionally Staged! This home has been completely remodeled; new & refinished kitchen cabinets & hardwood floors, gleaming granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, new fixtures throughout home, both baths redone extensive stone work w/ new sinks, tiled shower walls, vanity’s, nickel brush hardware and shower doors! Newly landscaped thougout!

Michael notes a comparable home on a bigger lot has a Zestimate in the high $700s and says, “Good luck to them!”  Clearly Michael doesn’t understand that just like in the arts, real estate is also all about appearances, promotion, and expectation.  All is vanity’s!  If this home lists for a higher price than the neighborhood would support, it’s because the seller is telling us It’s Special Here thougout!  Sure, the front of the house looks rather unwelcoming, but that’s a feature.  Marauding bands of Occupy Mountain View toughs won’t think this place is part of the 1%!

Meanwhile, to see how Special this place really is,check out the virtual tour!  This kind of attention to detail thougout is what makes a property worth paying a hundred thousand over comps.  For example. the solid door leads to gardage.  Bet you didn’t know this house was equipped with Beefeaters!

And the new ceiling fan (spinning), just like this Realtard is.

And here’s the flip hat-trick of stainless, granite and hardwood.  We also have some awkward usage here (back-splash?) as well as the first of three (count ‘em, three) uses of the Realtard ejaculation “light and bright,” although never before have I seen it used as a quantity.

Take the tour, plenty of fun things to find!  And it was professionally staged, so enjoy the $164,000 markup performance.  See you at intermission!

And if you think this is too much staging, there’s always the original source material to fall back upon (thanks to dollarbin for that find).  For example, this charming photo is, I kid you not, the “program cover” of the old listing.  But there isn’t a single spelling error in the listing copy thougout.

Today’s listing was sent in by Burbed reader Britt, who suspects that something is missing from this Mountain View house.  I don’t know why all the fuss, it’s in the same zip code as Google. That ought to be enough reason to make an offer and do a Search for whatever you can’t Find.

 

2419 TAMALPAIS St, Mountain View, CA 94043
$689,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,104
$/SQ. FT.: $624
LOT SIZE: 5,520 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Thompson
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81138652
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 25 days

Just back on the market. Great value in Mountain View! 3 bedroom, 2 bath home in outstanding Monta Loma neighborhood. Huge windows give abundant natural light. Beautiful newly refinished hardwood floors plus new paint inside & out. Vaulted ceilings. Flexible floorplan with living/dining combo and country-style family room kitchen. Attached one car garage. Approx. 1,104 sq ft of living space.

Here’s what Britt has to say about this home:

Am I missing something?  The kitchen seems incomplete. Where’s the refrigerator? The stove? Maybe it’s a Manhattan-style kitchen and they’re hidden behind the cabinets so everything looks streamlined? In any event, I don’t get it.

Yes, they did an excellent job of hiding the appliances by taking 14 pictures of the living room and family room and just two of the kitchen.  But so what?

If you worked at Google they give you free food anyway.  It’s not like you would actually waste what little free time you’ll have COOKING when there’s good, hot, free food as long as you’re at work.

In fact, you should probably pay extra for that flexible floorplan.  No refrigerator or stove means more room for your monitors and game consoles.

Here’s another fine listing from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer, who appreciates this agent’s honesty in listing copy.

 

2362 LAURA Ln, Mountain View, CA 94043
$634,950

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,104
$/SQ. FT.: $575
LOT SIZE: 5,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Thompson
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81138357
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 4 days

Fixer-upper – situated in a pleasant setting on a tree shaded cul-de-sac lot. Improvements in progress. Fully functional, but desperate for a kitchen makeover, and a remodeled master bath.

Is the house desperate for both a kitchen makeover and a remodeled master bath?  Is it desperate for a kitchen makeover, and it HAS a remodeled master bath?  How desperate are you?  How desperate is the agent to sell this place, when he only gave us three photos to help make up our minds?

As to the existing kitchen: WOW.  Colors that POP and appliances that STAND OUT.  I swear, I’ve seen appliances on porches in Kentucky that are more up to date than this range.

Maybe the agent isn’t being as honest as Petsmart Groomer suggests.  Maybe just as when an agent says “up to date” and you observe a kitchen with the latest 1974 fixtures, when this agent says “desperate” he really meant “If you don’t rebuild it the split second you remove the contingencies, someone’s toddler will sneeze on these single-pane windows and the whole house will pancake.”

Mmmm, pancakes!  Better makeover the kitchen if you want some!

Meanwhile, I’m hoping this agent takes more photos of the house.  A few more of them should help hold the house together.  They’d have to be stronger than those windows.

$825,000

2414 MARCELYN Ave Mountain View, CA 94043

Beds:	3
Baths:	2
Sq. Ft.:	1,140
$/Sq. Ft.:	$724
Lot Size:	7,200 Sq. Ft.
Property Type:	Detached Single Family
Stories:	1
View:	Green Belt
Year Built:	1959
Community:	Thompson
County:	Santa Clara
MLS#:	81120777
Source:	MLSListings
Status:	Active
On Redfin:	20 days

Stunning Mardell home!Bright open floor plan. Amazing park-like yard. Lot size 8834 sq. ft per previous owner. Updated kitchen w/ tile floor & granite counter. Beautiful hardwood floor thru-out. Updated interior doors. Dual pane windows. Sunny living room w/ wood-burning fireplace. Spacious dining area has large windows w/ charming garden view. Friut trees. Los Altos High School. Convenient to everything

Thanks to Burbed reader Herve for this find!

What an interesting discrepancy – the listing says this has a 7200 sqft lot, but the details says the lot is 8834 sqft. Now, this doesn’t really matter because either way it is a low low price of $724 per square foot and it has “friut” trees!

But which one are you more apt to believe? How big is this lot?

Discuss!!