Let’s have another look at Los Gatos, as it’s one of those Real Bay Area cities.  You can tell it is when you see a property listed for twice as much as it sold for in the bubblicious days of 2005.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for this peerless property.

138 SMITH RANCH Ct
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$888,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2.5
SQ. FT.: 1,582
$/SQ. FT.: $561
HOA DUES: $85/month 
LOT SIZE: 3,484 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 2
YEAR BUILT: 2005
COMMUNITY: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81211027
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 31 days

Beautiful 7 yr new home walking distance to Courtside, Netflix, LG trails, restaurants and shopping within Los Gatos school district. Regular sale, shows like a model, with high ceilings, recessed lights, granite kitchen & stainless appliances, hardwood floors in the family room/kitchen areas. Large, bright master with over sized tub and walk in closet. Private back yard and large 2 car garage.

Note the HOA fees prominently listed next to key features such as size of the house, size of the lot, and how many beds and baths.  When did Redfin start doing that?

Now here’s what nomadic had to say about the house.

Purchased two weeks ago at foreclosure (auction?) for $730k and now listed for a lucky $888k to cash in on $158k of instant equity!  It’s on a postage stamp lot that backs up to the 85 off ramp at Winchester.  The most recent sales on the street were in June 2010 for $460/sf, but those were about 1/3 larger – maybe the price isn’t as ridiculous as it seems…

Let’s see if Zillow agrees with “ridiculous.”

Um…whoa.  Those ZEstimates are all OVER the place.  And the “bunus” is the railroad tracks (shown as the dashed line) that run behind the homes across the street, the cherry on top of the awesome sauce that is Winchester plus the freeway ramp.

What do you think this home should sell for?  What do you think this home should sell now that you know it has “corporate ownership” plus “agent has financial interest”?  Usually corporate ownership means you’re looking at an REO, but in this case the place is owned by “Petwun LLC,” and the agent is the “manager” of said entity.

Have you heard?  The housing market is hot, hot, hot!  So many finds have that red PENDING banner smacked across the first picture because there’s so little inventory available (see chart).  That means even a Burbed-worthy home may get more love from overbidders than from, well, Burbed.  You would not believe how many homes that belong on the front page are snapped up and have their listings wiped clean off Redfin before we can even get the IP wrapper off our email.

But that’s great news for you, Burbed readers!  If the market is this hot, that means more and more crapboxes will be listed with no attempt to put any lipstick on those pigs.  And that means we are assured there’ll be plenty of prime content!  Like today’s OMG THAT’S PENDING WTF? listing from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer.  Thanks very much for this listing that left many parts in San Francisco.

1261 Sanchez St
San Francisco, CA 94114
$650,000

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 885
$/SQ. FT.: $734
LOT SIZE: 1,999 Sq. Ft.
TYPE: Detached
STYLE: Cottage
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1905
COMMUNITY: Noe Valley
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 40558309
SOURCE: EBRD
STATUS: Pending Court Confirmation
ON REDFIN: 66 days

* * * NO MORE OFFERS PLEASE !!! * * * Cute home with full garage/workshop. Backyard and patio. Loads of potential !!! Fixer, reflected in price. ..

Here’s a perfect example of a house that doesn’t need any effort by a listing agent.  It’s in Noe Valley, so just let the new buyer deal with any deferred maintenance.  What do you want, this place was standing when The Big One hit in 1906 and it’s still here!

This home requires Court Confirmation to sell, so buying it will require some legal advice as well.  And that’s not the realtard’s problem.  You want this house?  You should have been overbidding in January.

Now, a small amount of cleanup might be required.  Take a good look at these pictures, because the agent couldn’t even be bothered to move the smallest little distractions out of the framing.  What is up with all those bottles in the kitchen?  It doesn’t matter.  This market is HOT!

So, see if you can come up with a good story for each of these items.

The rest of the photos are to assure you of Burbed’s Good Housekeeping “Tag of Approval.”  Some of you Negative Nellies might object that the living room and bedroom do not demonstrate good housekeeping at all.  But, ah, the garage!

Hope you are enjoying your three-day weekend!  But don’t take a vacation from finding the perfect house.  Here’s one on a street that celebrates everything that is America and then some.

318 AMERICA Ave
Sunnyvale, CA 94085
$312,000

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 672
$/SQ. FT.: $464
LOT SIZE: 3,049 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1920
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81118385
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 299 days

No showing. Cute Charming Cottage with remodelled Kitchen and Bathrooms. Newer Cabinets, Pergo type floor! Upadted door & some windows! Private Fenced yard. Perfect starter home or investment! Close to transportaions, Shopping, Restaurants, Employers! Garage converted to an office, 2 bathrooms. Newer lawn.

Wow, what’s not to love about this house?  A Pergo type floor!  Upadted door and some windows!  Close to transportaions!  And the garage was converted, of course!

Wrap it all up in a white picket fence and you’ve got the perfect little starter home!  Cute, charming, and you’ve also got a Redfin agent who has toured this house 3 times and has something to share about it.

It must be able this awesome kitchen and its Pergo type floor!

Hey wait a minute, haven’t we seen this house before?

And back in 2007, we had seen this house before then!

This house definitely is everything that is America!  Prices that go up, and prices that spell opportunity!  A listing history that includes at least one foreclosure and one seriously WTF selling price!  Architectural design that suggests Monticello while staying within a budget!

If you do not buy this house, you must hate America and everything it stands for.  You terrorist.

Here comes a three day weekend!  So let’s travel a little further away from the US 101/I-280 Axis of Specialness, and see what’s over the mountains, through the woods, and down by the bay ocean.  Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night find.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader The Klek for this beachy little number for a quick little getaway.

 

794 FRANCISCO St
El Granada, CA 94018
$346,800

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,270
$/SQ. FT.: $273
LOT SIZE: 2,800 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: Bi/Split Level
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1960
COMMUNITY: Lower El Granada
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81144716
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 81 days

LOOK AT THIS PRICE HURRY WON”T LAST!! GREAT LOCATION!! 3 Bedroom 2 Bathroom is priced to sell * . Wood burning stove. Split level with Master Bedroom. Hot Tub. Property needs TLC. Close to the beautiful Ocean Beach enjoy walking along the seaside. Close to the Princeton Harbor and restaurants. Enjoy the sites of watching the surfers. COME BACK and SEE THE Painting exterior/Interior Plus * * * *

Here’s what The Klek had to say about today’s fine listing:

Here’s a good example of some lazy work on the part of the realtor who couldn’t be bothered with turning on the lights before taking pictures and editing those same pictures to remove any duplicates.

Still, I suppose the shadows and general darkness really underline the cozy quality. The grammar of the description needs work but I like how she mentioned the local sights (all at least 1/4-mile away) confusing the reader that the house offers views of surfers curling on a wave. Views of your neighbor couch surfing is more likely.

Oh, the poor buyers, thinking they’re signing up for volleyball and shell-collecting, when this is what they’re going to be looking at every day.

And have a look at the neighborhood.  The Klek was right about how close the beach was (that is, not yet in the big picture).

There is something seriously hinky going on over on Redfin when you try to look at the house on Streetview, probably because, for some reason, it’s classified as being in Half Moon Bay.  You’ll find yourself a block and a half away, and on the wrong street as well.  But Google Maps had no trouble finding it right away.

Now that we’ve found Home Sweet Home, guess it’s time to soak in the hot tub.

¡Perfecto!

1102 HOLLYBURNE Ave
Menlo Park, CA 94025

$319,500

These the rage is all about reducing your footprint on the earth. Well, this house takes it to the next level. Look at how much this house achieves in just a 2,744 square foot lot. Wowsers!

It’s unclear how many square feet this house is… but let’s just say that all your furniture better be kind of skinny. You’ll also need a really really really flat and thin screen tv or it might not fit at all.

Take that Japanese Pencil Buildings! We’re coming after you!

947 N 7TH St,
San Jose, CA 95112

$279,000

I’m sure it’s not this simple… but really… couldn’t you just flush the toilet and see what happens? If it doesn’t go anywhere, or just goes outside, maybe it’s not connected to the sewer?

Why is this so hard to figure out?

But more importantly, does it even matter? Aren’t we supposed to be green and all? Forget “gray water”, that’s so last century. These days, it’s about yellow and-possibly-brown (if you’re coming back from Mexico having drank the water) water.

If you hate this house, you must hate the environment.

110 COLLEGE St
Mountain View, CA 94040

$434,900

<snarky comment> <sarcastic comment> <snarky comment>

Wait a minute, this feels like déjà vu ALL OVER AGAIN.

Oh this is why:

December 7, 2009

House are now affordable in Mountain View

110 COLLEGE St, Mountain View, CA 94040 | MLS# 80945064
$499,950
110 COLLEGE St Mountain View, CA 94040

Wow, what’s up with this! This house is still on the market after all this time? Please, for the love of god, could someone just buy this house and put it out of its misery? It’s time to bring this to a close!

Someone, make it your new year’s resolution to buy this house ASAP!

1820 ASH St
Palo Alto, CA 94306

$1,149,500

At $2017 per square foot, this listing is the pride and joy of Bay Area real estate. Now, granted, this isn’t exactly accurate as there’s also a guest house that can bring in revenue – and as we all know, revenue is what counts.

But wait. This house sure seems familiar. Where have we seen this before? Quick! To the wayback machine to a period when I was still regularly contributing to this site!

September 7, 2010

A healthy priced property in Palo Alto

1820 ASH St Palo Alto, CA 94306

$1,499,000

OMG. What. Is. Going. On? No, seriously… what is going on with these prices?

What’s your prediction for what this house will sell for next year? Keep in mind the coming torrent of IPOs that will rock the Valley!

50 MATEO Ave
Millbrae, CA 94030

$299,000

Didn’t get what you wanted for Christmas? Well here’s your chance! Look at this deal! Most of us could charge this on our Centurion cards, right?

Let’s take a look at some of the fine interior pics:

Wow, talk about #winning! Unfortunately, the Iraq War is now over – so references to Fallujah and etc are now over. What would be a good modern day comparison for this house?

In any case, at $650 per square foot, this house demonstrates the awesome power of the Bay Area. Maybe you could buy this and create your new social, gamification, hyper local, daily deal, analytics, heroin shooting gallery! Just think of the potential! It’d be so addictive and viral! You could call it BlackTarr.com. (Please remember me for Friends and Family Shares. Thanks!)

DEALS, DEALS, DEALS, we’re going to travel all around the Bay Area to bring them to you!  Here’s something close to a major center of higher learning!  No, not Stanford, that would be the cheapest house in Palo Alto.  This is the cheapest house near Cal!

And since Cal’s a public school, you can pay a public house price!

1509 ASHBY Ave, Berkeley, CA 94703
$170,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 754
$/SQ. FT.: $225
LOT SIZE: 2,516 Sq. Ft.
TYPE: Detached
STYLE: Bungalow
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1922
COMMUNITY: Berkeley
COUNTY: Alameda
MLS#: 40498800
SOURCE: EBRD
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 384 days

Nice home but does need work. Public record shows 754 sq feet, and 1 bedroom but it has 3 bedrooms, so sq foot is larger.

“It has 3 bedrooms, so sq foot is larger.”

You know, maybe someone subdivided that one bedroom into three and turned this into a super-cheap student rental.  Maybe the sq foot is not larger after all.  Maybe it is.  Maybe it’s a tesseract and the house is actually 25,000 sq foot.  Maybe it’s in some kind of non-Euclidian geometry zone where a sq foot is 25,000 sq inch.  (That may be the best explanation, as Euclid is on the northeast side of town.)

There’s no inside photos, so the only way you’re ever going to find out if sq foot is larger is to BUY THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW.  Think of it as a lucky raffle ticket, only instead of possibly winning a new car, you could win a larger sq foot.