Today’s featured Villa is brought to you by the letter V. Yes, the danged Blogging from A to Z Challenge has not been Vanquished yet.  Verily, we have a Vague suspicion that some are Vexed that we’re skipping over the Rodney Dangerfield of the Bay Area, Vallejo. We feel Vallejo’s been Vanquished and another Village needs the Vital exposure this site gives to Bay Area real estate.

Translation: Vacaville, on Burbed for the Very first time, show us your Virtues!  We could mention the Very name means, literally, “cow town.” At least Vallejo was named after a Victorious general.

200 Brown St
Vacaville, CA 95688
$114,900

2 Beds
1 Baths
904 Sq. Ft.
$127 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1950
Lot Size: 6,098 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 33 days
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Solano

This fixer has a good size lot and tremendous potential close to public transportation schools great freeway access.

This listing copy has a good start and tremendous potential close to acceptable noun plural noun adjective concept whoops run on sentence.

We can smell the potential from here.

Ah, a saluting toilet! We’ve missed these.  Maybe more agents read Burbed than we thought, as open toilets are getting more difficult to find in listing photos.  And that’s a Good Thing.

Sunny yellow kitchen and space to dine.

Also this house was foreclosed on in February.  February, 2013. And that’s Vexing, as foreclosures and NODs and other housing fail are down substantially Virtually everywhere. 

So many times we hear the refrain, “I would love to buy a house, but I can’t afford anything.  It’s just too expensive here.” And so many times we have found affordable houses that YOU could go and buy.  Today we have yet another exciting opportunity for YOU, the would-be homeowner.  Just imagine yourself watering your very own lawn!  Or even better, your very own Rose Garden!

1951 FOREST Ave
San Jose, CA 95128
$350,000

1 Beds
1 Baths
525 Sq. Ft.
$667 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1915
Lot Size: 3,600 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 70 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Central San Jose
MLS#: 81241926

This home is located in the desirable Rose Garden neighborhood. Needs a lot of work. Not livable now. Contractor’s special. Located on a 3,600 square foot lot. Has a lot of potential. Great opportunity for someone looking to move into a fantastic area.

This property is Special for a number of reasons, and we don’t just mean for Contractors.

That’s a Streetview shot on this property listing.  The realtard didn’t even bother cropping it a little to strip out the Google logo.  It also, LUCKY YOU, conveniently fell out of contract just a couple of weeks ago, and is relisted at the same attractive price. 

Speaking of attractive, let’s swing that Streetview camera just a little to the right (below).  While the white truck is intriguing, the station wagon is vehicular WIN.  And from the satellite shot on the left, we can see exactly why this is such an attractive proposition: this looks like a Hoarder House.  Can you imagine what sorts of “bunus” loot awaits the lucky buyer of this affordable home that wears its 98 years proudly?

Bunus Specialtude: This home has been featured as the cover photo of our brand new Facebook Page for a couple of days.  Keep checking over there for new cover photos, and play “Find That Crapbox!”

Welcome back to another week of Extreme Housing Win, Bay Area Edition!  We hope everyone had a wonderful holiday break and we wish you all a Very Happy New Year if you haven’t been reading us Every Single Day Like You Should Be.

Today’s featured FUBAR hails from the linchpin of higher learning in all of California.  No, not Stanford.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Ms. Snoopy for this bodacious buildout of BOOM in Berzerkely!

1068 CRAGMONT Ave
Berkeley, CA 94708
$399,000

4 Beds 
3 Baths 
2,129 Sq. Ft.
$187 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1959 
Lot Size: 8,100 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 20 days
Status: Active
Type: Detached
Stories: 2
Community: Berkeley Hills
MLS#: 40598550
Style: Craftsman
View: Bay
County: Alameda

If You Love Natural Light, You will Fall in Love w/ the “VIEWS” of this home. This is definitely a HOME IMPROVEMENT house in the workings! NEEDS a lot of TLC.

Here’s Ms. Snoopy’s nominating speech for this front-page folly:

According to the agent, this one “NEEDS a lot of TLC.” I guess “TLC” in realtard speak now means drywall, doors, and ceilings. But the agent is right that you will get “lots of natural light” due to the fact that there are no walls.

Love your site!

No walls?  That means plenty of fresh air as well!  Plus fresh water.

And plenty of nature, both animal and plant kingdoms, free to surprise you day or night.

Would you look at those VIEWS!!!!!

Our post-Christmas closeouts continue!  Today we’re heading up the hill to Santa Cruz County to show that you, yes YOU!! Can!! Afford!! To buy a house!! Thanks very much to Burbed reader wahnny for sending us this bodacious Boulder Creek craptacular.

273 W HILTON Dr
San Lorenzo Valley, CA 95006
$49,900

3 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,400 Sq. Ft.
$36 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1965 
Lot Size: 0.32 Acres 
On Redfin: 21 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Boulder Creek
MLS#: 81242647
Stories: 2
County: Santa Cruz

Property damaged by 2006 slide on Boulder Creek golf course. Engineering reports and county reports on file. Drive by only. DO NOT ENTER PROPERTY. CASH OFFER ONLY.

Here’s what wahnny said about this resort location:

Although the photos and listing appear to match the reality of the area (made worse with recent rains), the dreaming still continues.

You’ll be having pleasant dreams in this Golf Course abode!  They’ll be so amazing that’s why you’re only allowed to drive by. 

Nobody’s allowed to enter the property until you’ve paid your cash offer.  If that isn’t proof that The Bubbles Are Back, we don’t know what is.

We’re sure you can clean up that 2006 slide on Boulder Creek golf course, if you can find where the engineering and county reports are “on file.”

Today’s featured property was sent in by Burbed reader Swan! Thanks very much for this wonderful Woodside win.  (Oh yeah, PENDING!!!!!!)

133 MARVA OAKS Dr
Woodside, CA 94062
Listed at $1,895,000

2 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,400 Sq. Ft.
$1,354 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1961 
Lot Size: 3.73 Acres 
On Redfin: 112 days
Status: Pending Without Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Central Woodside
MLS#: 81231887
Style: Contemporary
View: Canyon
County: San Mateo

Driveway is a slight downslope, house is on the flat, then another downslope on a road to a lower, larger flat pretty area. From there property does go down to Raymundo, but too much brush to walk.

We sure like this description of the property.  Here’s what Swan had to say about it.

Let’s start with the realtard listing 3.73 acres in Woodside for $2250.  Why I didn’t jump on the deal then, I’ll never know!  Suddenly, the price went up to $2,250,000 only to be reduced to $1,895,000.  Of course, the listing is pending! 

Anyway, how about the realtard’s description of the property.  Huh?  Say that again?  The Redfin agent seems to sum it up nicely:  fixer.  Oh, and be sure to check the satellite view in Google.  There’s a an RV (or something) with a lovely blue tarp over the top.And, on the back part of the property, a broken down vehicle along with that burned down barn.  I’m sure the surrounding mansions love living next door to the hillbillies!

Wait, what’s this about 3.73 acres for $2250?

Yowza.  And the Redfin agent?

She did not actually say “fixer.”  Just “open your wallet.”

We’re continuing the DEALS DEALS DEALS with yet another region full of cheap housing. Today’s victim: Santa Cruz County!  But wait, you may rudely point out. Santa Cruz County is not part of the Bay Area.  It does not have any part of it touching the Bay.

Oh yeah?  What’s Monterey Bay, chopped liver?  Plenty of people commute to Silicon Valley from Santa Cruz County.  Maybe even Googlers.  Presenting, the cheapest house in all of Santa Cruz County!

575 HAZEL BRAKE
San Lorenzo Valley, CA 95006
$115,000

2 Beds 
1 Baths 
900 Sq. Ft.
$128 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1943 
Lot Size: 0.45 Acres 
On Redfin: 1 day
Status: Active
Property Type
Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Boulder Creek
MLS#: 81241767
Style: Cabin
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Cruz

DO NOT visit property with out an Agent; stairway, deck and house could be dangerous. This is a major fixer-upper, however it is in a great neighborhood. Bracken Brae has hiking trails, picnic grounds, private water system and roads with lovely river access just for owners.

When a property listing starts out with a warning like DO NOT visit property, we know it’s going to be good. And unlike the places we found earlier this week, this one has more than 2500 square feet of land.  It also has more than one picture, which means more work for us. 

At left is Picture number two.  Out of 24. Believe us when we say this is one of the cheerier views.

Also, catch the not-so-subtle reminder that rentards aren’t deserving of anything: lovely river access just for owners.  This is like Foothills Park, except living in Palo Alto is nowhere as exciting. For this dangerous listing, DO NOT go anywhere (especially stairway, deck and house) with out an Agent. DO NOT even look at these photos.

This agent deserves some kind of award, for either Whole Truth In Real Estate Photography, or for skipping the worse views that weren’t included.

We’ve been spending too much time in Santa Clara County, which means we’re forgetting about the other eight counties in the Bay Area.  So let’s head north for today’s front-page feature.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tom Paine for this deep subject.

4291 Gravenstein Highway S
Sebastopol, CA 95472

Listed for $535,800 on 2/1/12
Several price cuts, to $315K on 10/19
Sold for $310,000 on 11/8/12

BANK OWNED
1 Story Detached
3 bedrooms
2 bathrooms
2,535 sq ft
3.45 acres
13 years old
15 Photos
Style: Ranch
Lot Size: 3.45 ac
Mortgage Payment: $1,114/mo
Taxes –
Year Built: 1999
Subdivision: Sebastopol
Stories: 1
MLS #21202510
WalkScore™:18

Nice piece of property on 3.4 acres. Cash only buyers. No financing. Serious defects include well contamination, rotted foundation and extensive wood rot.

Here’s why Tom thought this nowhere-near-the-Real Bay Area estate deserved to be all tarted up on Burbed:

Think of enjoying the beautiful views in the morning, sipping that cup of extra flavorful coffee and smelling the sweet scent of rot. And you get that special REO deed that doesn’t guarantee title as a bonus!

Can’t imagine why this didn’t sell faster.  Nothing is more authentically Marin than extensive wood rot.  But you get all this prestige at a Sonoma County price (complete with a Sonoma County address)!

This is also one of those listings we had to play Where’s Waldo with, because it didn’t show up on Redfin or several others.  Plus it had different listing copy with fewer but blurrier photos on Zillow:

4291 Gravenstein Hwy S
Sebastopol, CA 95472
Not for Sale

Zestimate $392,863
Rent Zestimate $2,458/mo
Est. Mortgage $1,371/mo

Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sqft: 2,535
Lot: 150,282 sq ft / 3.45 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1999
Fireplace: Yes
County: Sonoma
Legal description: MAP D5 151
Parcel #: 062240030
Per floor sqft: 2,535
Total rooms: 7
# Stories: 1.0
Unit cnt: 1
Zillow Home ID: 15806148

Excellent country estate on over 3.4 acres. Home features tile entry, large living area with fireplace & fish tank, granite counter tops & island in kitchen, oversized master bedroom w/sitting area. Outside kitchen with built-in BBQ. Fantastic views of pastures, hills and seasonal creek. Pre qual with BOFA required on all offers. Cash buyers are subject to Deed restriction.

Bunus: Check out the listing history!

Today’s featured home is a San Carlos scraper brought to you by Burbed reader nomadic.  This low-hanging lemon has been overripening on the Redfin vine, and was spotted on a fruitful locale for Burbed bounty: the Redfin forums.  Thanks very much for the harvest! 

437 HILLCREST Rd
San Carlos, CA 94070
$850,000; was $875,000; was $899,000; was $910,000

2 Beds 
1.5 Baths
1,120 Sq. Ft.
$759 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1941 
Lot Size: 7,644 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 130 days
Status: Active
Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: San Mateo
Style: Contemporary
Community: Cordes
MLS#: 81213411

Great westside location, this home is a major fixer upper bring your contractor with you large level lot perfect for building your dream home building plans and engineering reports have been submitted to the city for approval

Here’s what nomadic had to say about this perplexing property:

Check this out, from the Redfin forums:

  I lived in this home, as the flippers who bought it in 2011, rented it to me so they could get the permits in place.  Long story short, is that they thought they had the permits in place in February of 2012 so they asked me to move.  Turns out just more paper shuffling by the city, and things are still moving slow.  The house is in bad disrepair.  The son of the original owners (since 1941) died and the family sold it.  All the plumbing was shot, and a poorly constructed addition was slapped on the porch in the back.  The chiminey was falling off the side of the house, and there was quite a fair amount of landscaping growing out of the roof.

  Shortly after I moved out, a bunch of  vagrants ransacked the place, stole all the copper, and broke most of the windows.  Permits are still pending for the tear down and rebuild.  As I was browsing the listings, I found it funny that it was relisted at $910k basically a year after they bought it for $622, and its now no longer livable.

The asking price is now $850k.  When did San Carlos wedge itself into the RBA?

Hmmm, this comment doesn’t seem to be on the thread anymore, but this reply references part of the above.  So nomadic was not hallucinating the post.  Perhaps Redfin is getting a little gun-shy about actual discussion of houses rather than oh-so-postive realtardese.  Talk that way for too long and you won’t even need to take any uppers.

Bunus: Trash bag and abandoned monitor in Streetview shots, plus extra bin at neighbor’s.

Let’s take a drive North again, courtesy of Burbed reader Tom Paine.  Tom’s got a real winner for us today, that is if by winner I meant something that is the exact opposite of winner.  So let’s check out this bitchen Bolinas back four thousand!

0 Birch Rd
Bolinas, CA  94924
$14,990

BEDS:  -
BATHS:  -
SQ. FT.:  -
LOT SIZE:  4,008 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Lots & Land, Single Family
COMMUNITY:  Bolinas
COUNTY:  Marin
MLS#:  21214547
SOURCE:  BAREIS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN:  26 days

Flat lot in Bolinas:Not a buildable site under the current water moratorium and County Septic rules and zoning. For further info:Bolinas Public Utility District at Marin County Planning Environmental Health dept.

Here’s what Tom thinks about buying this lot.

I wonder if you can park your RV there for longer than 24 hours?

Ah, yes, a little slice of property in paradise!  Unfortunately we can’t tell you which slice, as there are several 4,000 square foot lots on Birch near Poplar.  But we can show you how awesome the area is!

And when you look for some of the lots, they look even better!

Booyah!  So are you going to let a little thing like zoning issues and no septic and no water meter stop you from buying here?

Hope everyone had a very happy 4^th  of July.  Now that we’ve declared our Independence, let’s get back to looking at some housing win.  Today’s entry is from Burbed reader Tom Paine, to which we say, thank you very much for this superb structure in Sebastopol.

Sebastopol, in case you’re checking, was not, is not, and never will be part of the Real Bay Area.  However, the market is so hot, hot, HOT… even this place is pending.

8680 Bodega Hwy
Sebastopol, CA 95472
$62,200

BEDS:  1
BATHS:  1
SQ. FT.:  625
$/SQ. FT.:  $100
LOT SIZE:  5,663 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Residential, Detached, Single Family
STYLE: Bungalow
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT:  1953
COMMUNITY:  Sebastopol
COUNTY:  Sonoma
MLS#:  21211920
SOURCE:  BAREIS
STATUS: Contingent (Show)
ON REDFIN:  51 days

This property is not buildable. The septic system needs to be replaced and the property is too small for the County of Sonoma to allow that. There is no well. County will NOT allow this property to be refurbished. Land only.

Here’s what Tom had to say about this lucky listing:

You can’t build on it and you can’t get a permit to fix it because there’s no room for a septic system. Soooo $65k for .130 acres with a structure that needs to be demolished because it is an attractive nuisance. On floodplain. Who could pass this one up!

The real question is, which one of the neighboring property owners snapped this up?  Because there isn’t a good reason to buy this if you don’t own the lot adjoining it, is there?  Maybe our readers can solve this mystery!