September 6, 2013

East San Jose Mawbul Kawlums! This house sits on a lot of square feet

Okay, East San Jose hills, but still! Oh my gawd who lives here, the POPE?  Thanks very much to Burbed reader TL in San Jose for sending in this feature that indicates what makes a joint classy. KAWLUMS!  Put some in your bedroom!

130905-chaboya-redfin4227 CHABOYA Ct
San Jose, CA 95148
$2,988,000

7 Beds
6.5 Baths
8,314 Sq. Ft.
$359 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1989
Lot Size: 3.40 Acres
On Redfin: 14 days
Status: Active


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130905-chaboya-kawlums2Not only this mansion teeming with MAWBUL KAWLUMS, the listing isn’t full of much of anything. We didn’t forget the description; there isn’t any. Also missing are basic entry items such as the County, the house style, and how many stories in the building. But this agent doesn’t have any stories to tell. Instead, we’ll let the photos do all the talking.

We did find this description on MLSListings:

130905-chaboya-kawlums3*BREATHTAKING UNSURPASSED VIEWS OF SF BAY AREA, SILICON VALLEY, AND THE BEST SUNSETS IN THE AREA* 7 BEDROOMS* 6.5 BATHS*2 MASTER SUITES* 2 KITCHENS W/ S.S. APPLIANCES* EXTRA LARGE BUILT IN FRIDGE* GRANITE SLAB COUNTERS HUGE ENTERTAINMENT/BONUS AREA* UNPARALLELED CUSTOM FINISHES THROUGHOUT *HIGH CEILINGS* MARBLE FLOORS* DRAMATIC STAIRCASE* BASKETBALL CT* VINEYARD * SOLAR POOL* EXCELLENT SCHOOLS*

130905-chaboya-kawlums4Best of all, it links to a virtual tour with, we shit you not, 80 pictures.  Because the 25 on Redfin are obviously not enough. Also not enough are the missing description in Redfin and the ALL-CAPS one above. So we are delighted to share the one from the virtual tour as well, because it demonstrates the care and consideration taken with selling a three million dollar house.

130905-chaboya-description

It certainly does. 148,104 sure is a lot.

130905-chaboya-kawlums5130905-chaboya-kawlums6

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am






August 19, 2013

Ginormous SJ house generates HEAVY AMOUNT OF PHONE CALLS

Tired of the poorly photographed crapboxen that are Burbed bread and butter? Today’s house is for you, if you can find it.This property is brought to you by Burbed reader wahnny. Thanks very much!

130818-calero-redfin21680 CALERO CREEK Ct
San Jose, CA 95120
$999,888

5 Beds
7 Baths
7,533 Sq. Ft.
$133 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2002
Lot Size: 3.10 Acres
On Redfin: 17 days
Status: Pending With Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
County: Santa Clara
Style: Traditional, Mediterranean
Community: Almaden Valley
MLS#: 81328031

Last "Open House Monday 8/12 this evening from 5-7:30pm. ELEGANT PALATIAL ESTATE, SITUATED ON 3.10 FLAT ACRES. THIS LUXURY CUSTOM HOME IS 10 YEARS YOUNG & BUILT W/ THE FINEST IMPORTED MATERIALS FROM AROUND THE WORLD. DUE TO HEAVY AMOUNT OF PHONE CALLS WE HAVE "FAQ WORD DOC" @ UR REQUEST W/ FULL DISCLOSURE LINK & HOME INSPECTIONS. VIRTUAL TOUR HAS 2 TOURS & BROKER TOUR VIDEO FROM 8/7/2013 ENJOY

130818-calero-theaterHere’s why wahnny sent in this particular place:

Just came across this quite georgious estate.

Asking price is WAY less than its assessed value.  Lotsa cauwlums and ornate finishings adorn the "10 YEARS YOUNG" 7500+sqft estate on 3+acres.  Aside from overhead powerlines, rather small pool, and location on the fringes of the RBA, it might still incite a bidding war, as per AGENT INTENT.

130818-calero-kawlumFringes of the Real Bay Area? Wahnny, this place isn’t even on the fringes of the Corridor of Not Quite. This house is firmly situated somewhere south of You Have Got To Be Kidding Me. The only advantage it has is that it’s only 22 miles to the Tesla Supercharging station in Gilroy.  And if you can buy a house this size for the price of a gingerbread shack in San Bruno, of course you should expect some mawbul kawlums thrown in.

130818-calero-thronePlus there is a virtual tour.  And a good thing there is, or we would never know that every office needs a throne.

As to that AGENT INTENT, here’s what the FAQ in the disclosures packet has to say about that asking price:

8. Why list so low?
Sellers are aware that neither appraisers, nor realtors determine what the VALUE or the final sales price of a home will be, it’s the BUYERS that determine the final price thus the new market value of the home.  They wanted to market and list their home non-traditional and something innovative that would attract plenty of interest and one good offer that had the best price and terms.

130818-calero-officeWait a minute, since when is announcing a day for offers to come in and picking the highest one considered “non-traditional”?  In the RBA this is de rigeur!

Bunus: Not only does this property have a “well lien” because of the 3 abandoned wells onsite (seller can’t find two of them), there’s also an HOA for shared roads with voting rights based on property size. This home has an effective veto over the other properties because any vote must pass by 75%.  So you could really make life interesting for four other homeowners!

ENJOY

Comments (3) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:06 am

June 26, 2013

Begin Your Journey in the Shire

We find all kinds of homes for sale and try to mix up the different options so our readers don’t get bored. Ho-hum, another crapshack in East Palo Alto? Not today! Best of all, you can purchase today’s featured property for Not A Lot Of Money℠! (Not A Lot Of Money is a Service Mark of Burbed Worldwide, which is a subsidiary of Burbed Galactic, a wholly owned enterprise of Burbed Universal.)

Thanks very much to Christin for adding this to her Just Wow Redfin Collection.

130625-blackburn-redfin203 BLACKBURN St
Santa Cruz, CA 95060
$499,000

1 Beds
1 Baths
750 Sq. Ft.
$665 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1922
Lot Size: 5,053 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 7 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: West Santa Cruz
MLS#: 81321651
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Cruz

This is one of the most unique, eclectic, properties in Santa Cruz. A true eco urban farm in the heart of Santa Cruz, walking distance to beach and town. The home is made from 2 authentic historic street cars. Greeting you is a huge oak tree with its own treehouse, 2 cob stuctures for office, work or play, a pond, clucking chickens, fruit trees galore, gardens, sauna, fire ring, cob oven, more!

Cob oven? Say no more!

130625-blackburn-windows130625-blackburn-kitchen130625-blackburn-bath130625-blackburn-dutchdoor130625-blackburn-barrel130625-blackburn-barrel2

The house isn’t terribly large, which is a good thing. Gandalf will be coming by any minute with an important mission statement for you. Meet at the Fire Ring.

image

Comments (5) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 6:03 am

March 29, 2013

This home is a work of art by true artist’s artistry

We’ve made comments about certain property listings where the photos seem more suited to an art gallery than a home website. Today’s house, though, is in a class by itself for serious WTFness. This San Jose museum masterpiece is so moved miles more than the masonry mainstream that it was nominated by two different Burbed readers within 24 hours: z2amiller and mtv-renter.

Grab your AudioTour listening device, slip on your headphones, and enjoy these curated images from a Cambrian townhouse available right now through your favorite real estate professional.  Or pick your least favorite realtard just to make ‘em have to look at it.

130328-hollyleaf-redfin5692 HOLLYLEAF Ln
San Jose, CA 95118
$485,000

HOA Dues: $329/mo.
2 Beds
2 Baths
1,102 Sq. Ft.
$440 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1973
Lot Size: 2,120 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 9 days
HOA Dues: $329/month
Style: Traditional
Community: Cambrian
MLS#: 81308592
Property Type: Townhouse
View: Green Belt, Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

This home is a work of art! Upon entering you will be amazed at the artistry of the tile floors and walls These amazing mosaics were designed by a true artist. This colorful home features a remodeled kitchen with granite counters updated appliances copper sink double pane windows 2 spacious patios 2 car garage and a great location in the complex across from a green belt Must See one of kind Home!

Tile? That roof above looks just fine for a place in California.  Although somebody please give this listing agent some punctuation.

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Ooooookay, the patio is just a touch on the loud side.  Things are about to get louder, so click on through. Warning, eye protection is strongly recommended.

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Comments (25) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

November 19, 2012

Like Google Streetview? You’ll LOVE Google Houseview!

Burbed reader nomadic informs us of a major Google Maps update.  Guess it’s not rolling out to everyone at once because we haven’t seen it yet.

121118-houseview-yesno

Awesome sauce! This is going to change real estate, because now, who needs to wait for an Open House or an agent to put together a Virtual Tour?  With this new feature, you can see a home’s interior layout, room sizes, fixtures and decor with just a few mouse clicks.

Bunus: Think of all the homes that will now qualify for the Burbed Good Housekeeping tag of approval!

1211180-houseview-in

Comments (6) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

October 17, 2012

RV Access Parking is a PLUS!

Today’s featured home was sent in by Burbed reader waiting_for_the_fall.  We’re delighted to receive it, not only because this is the first contribution from this long-time regular we’ve seen in a while (or maybe even ever), but also because it’s from a part of the Bay Area we don’t cover as often as Silicon Valley.  This house is in the East Bay, and a part we don’t get too many nominations for, and best of all, it’s selling for less than not a lot of money.

Remember, if a house is in Northern California, it too can be Burbable!  Send your favorites on in to one of the email addresses in the upper right corner.

121016-briarwood-zillow8633 Briarwood Ln
Dublin, CA 94568
$425,000

Zestimate® $406,121
Est. Mortgage $1,489/mo
Beds: 4
Baths: 2
Sqft: 1,338
Lot: 7,649 sq ft / 0.18 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1963
On Zillow: 1030 days
MLS #: 40562786
View Virtual Tour (opens new tab)

This is a four bedroom/two bathroom home with 1338 sq. ft. The roof is approximately nine years old and Dual Pane Windows throughout. Plus Converted garage into a large beautiful family room w/storage. The living room has a gas burning fireplace. Huge private backyard with a large patio and tall trees. RV Access Parking is a PLUS!

121016-briarwood-livingHere’s what wftf said when sending us this place:

Will you please check out the price fluctuations on this craptastic house?  It made me dizzy reading the wild price gyrations on zillow.
And it is pending!

I give up.  The banks are winning.

Did you know you can’t spell wftf without wtf?  Because wtf is definitely the best reaction to the price gyrations on Zillow.

121016-briarwood-price-history

121016-briarwood-bedroomSo is this house in the Real Bay Area or isn’t it?  It more than doubled in the ten years between 1996 and 2005, but then… not so much.  Since buying this house for 630 big ones, the current owner has tried listing it at $674K just two years later, and then started throwing prices at the wall seeing if any of them would stick.  Not sticking in addition to $674K were just under $600K (with lucky 8s!!!), reducing it to $429K (just 3 months later). 

Price goes down, price goes up.  Plus at least four different agents, at four different brokers.  It all adds up to an eyepopping over thousand day old listing!

Then again, perhaps this lovely room is what’s keeping the buyers away, since it appears to have girl cooties.

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:11 am

September 7, 2012

Excellent Los Gatos and San Jose Public & Private Schools

And we’ll finish up this shortened week of accommodation awesomeness with some new construction in Los Gatos!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for yet another example of Truth in Real Estate!

120906-panorama-redfin116 PANORAMA Way
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$1,999,000

4 Beds 
3.5 Baths 
3,000 Sq. Ft.
$666 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2012 
Lot Size: 10,100 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 126 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81216707
Style: French, Mediterranean
View: Mountains
County: Santa Clara

New Construction. Excellent Floor Plan; Gourmet Kitchen with Custom paint & glazed Cabinets with Professional grade Bosch Appliances; Walk-in Pantry; Alarmed Security Systems; Smart Wired for CATV/HDTV & custom audio system; Laundry with custom built Cabinets with Granite Countertops & skylight.

120906-panorama-tubNot another one of those backwards houses!  And by backwards we mean a “luxury” type McMansion that has an impressive address, but forgot to bring the school district along for the ride.  Let nomadic explain:

New construction for a premium in the slums of Los Gatos!

I’m calling them out because on the “features” tab it says: “Excellent Los Gatos and San Jose Public & Private Schools.”  They must be referring to private schools in Los Gatos, because the public schools (while quite good) are in the Union Elementary and Campbell Union High School districts.

120906-panorama-virtual-tour-features

120906-panorama-streetview-from-unionRedfin has the location all wrong for these houses on the Google map, which makes me think they’re taking liberties with the lot sizes too.  If you look on the map and pan down Union Avenue to just north of Leewood Court, you can see the two of them nuzzled together on the construction site. 

Wow, it looks AWFUL on the satellite view – worse than the view from Union. 

120906-panorama-redmap

The better-looking but much too close companion chateau finally went Pending a couple of weeks ago.  And given how lovey-dovey these two homes are, who wants to guess that the lot size of 10,500 is for both of them?  (Lot size of 117 is conveniently provided in acres to make comparisons quick and easy!  That’s 11,326 sf.  You’re welcome.)

Comments (10) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:04 am

May 10, 2012

Elegant, stoidy, and boisting with class

120508-kawlums-snlLike any long-running blog, Burbed has developed a few inside jokes.  One of them is our fondness of the most important element in classical architecture.  That’s right.  Mawbul Kawlums.  (And if you haven’t seen this video yet, please go watch it, because it’s a classic.  Ha ha!  Classic, get it?) 

Ever since we featured this empty spec house, Burbed readers have asked for more homes in KawlumVision.  Today’s featured listing says “Break out the red arrows!”

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for this super structure in Saratoga at an even more super price!

13815 PIERCE Rd
Saratoga, CA 95070
$6,988,000

120508-pierce-redfin

BEDS: 6
BATHS: 5.5
SQ. FT.: 8,000
$/SQ. FT.: $874
LOT SIZE: 1.87 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Mountains
YEAR BUILT: 2008
COMMUNITY: Saratoga
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81215397
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 13 days

This elegant 8000+/- sf Italian Villa on 1.5+/- view acres will awaken all your senses. The elaborate paver driveway with 3 entrances leads you to a beautifully designed front steps and door. Great curb appeal! The 3 levels include an excellent open floor plan with 6 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms, Brasilian Cherry hardwood floors, marble bathrooms, spiral staircase, Best Anderson windows and More!

120508-pierce-kawlums1

Here’s why Swan shared this home with all of you:

120508-pierce-inside-kawlumsI am in mawbul kawlum heaven!

Kawlums in front, kawlums at the garage, kawlums in the entry hall, kawlums in the master bath, kawlums in back, kawlums at the gazebo!

Are there enough red arrows in the world for this home?

120508-pierce-kawlums3This house may very well have broken the Burbed KawlumVision generator, because there actually are kawlums hiding behind other kawlums.  We assure you that every single red arrow in the big picture above is pointing to a unique kawlum. It’s just that some of them are shy.

You can see the wallflower kawlums from this slightly different angle of the façade, available from this home’s virtual tour. Plus it also has the aforementioned garage kawlums. 

120508-pierce-kawlums2

The MLS listing has 14 yummy pictures, many of them with kawlums to drool over.  But if you can’t get enough kawlumnage, plus more eye-popping “They put that in there?” you simply must check out the tour as well.  And bring your red arrows.

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Remember, nothing says “Rich people live here” like mawbul kawlums.  Well, that and a $7 million listing price.

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:04 am

April 17, 2012

UPDATED: Two Million Dollars for a Sunnyvale House. Good Luck with That.

Recently, we took a look at a house in Midtown Palo Alto that a number of commenters thought was overbuilt for the neighborhood.  That reminded me of a similarly situated structure in Sunnyvale, so I pulled it up for nostalgia’s sake.  What a delightful surprise to discover that it’s once again for sale!  It was relisted just in time for April Fool’s Day, and at the same attractive price as it was three years ago.

1474 VALCARTIER St
Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$1,999,000

120406-valcartier-redfin

BEDS: 6
BATHS: 4.5
SQ. FT.: 4,790
$/SQ. FT.: $417
LOT SIZE: 8,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: French
STORIES: Tri-Level
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1991
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81211851
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 7 days

Extraordinary six-bedroom, four and one half-bath custom estate perfect for executive lifestyle of luxury and unmatched class. Within this showcase home you will find a remodeled ONE-OF-KIND gourmet kitchen featuring best-in-class appliances with close access to the formal dining room, casual family room and truly alluring outdoor venue that is perfect for entertainment.

120406-valcartier-kitchenThis time around, they’re not letting us see the inside.  And it would need a lot of pictures, because this property has a FAR of 0.60.  That can’t even be LEGAL in Sunnyvale. 

But, this is a Custom Bahl Home!  And if you haven’t heard of Bahl Homes, they built a few tracts around Silicon Valley, including some zero lot line curiosities and the snout-house “patio homes” just around the corner from this place. Now that they’re done with building tracts, they remain as a real estate company. Fortunately for us, today’s house has its own webpage on Bahl’s site, with pictures even!  We don’t know when these were taken, though, as it’s been listed and sold many times since its construction.  Have a look at those pictures and more, after the break.

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Comments (65) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

April 12, 2012

Want an investment property close to Facebook? TOO LATE

Burbed continues with Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer week, and now we return to Palo Alto.  Ah Palo Alto, home of high prices for working-class residences.  This fine investment property/teardown/whatever cannot be yours because it went pending in just six days.  Let’s drool on it and hope the sale falls through.  We’ll use Zillow this time because Redfin already took the listing copy and pictures down.

2316 Amherst St
Palo Alto, CA 94306
$1,498,000

120405-amherst-zillow

Beds: 4
Baths: 3
Sqft: 2,025
Lot: 6,098 sq ft / 0.14 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1959
Parking: —
Cooling: —
Heating: —
Fireplace: —
On Zillow: 9 days
MLS #: 81211442
County: Santa Clara
Legal description: —
Parcel #: —
Per floor sqft: 2,025
Zillow Home ID: 2120434658

Sold in conjunction with 2320 Amherst. Two buildings: 2316 is spacious 1/1 with hardwood & updated kitchen. 2320 has 2/1 downstairs with refinished hardwood & updated kitchen; small 1/1 upstairs with huge deck and lovely views of the hills. Both buildings have laundry facilities. Legally 2 lots, zoned R1. Fabulous College Terrace location – Move in, buy for investment or build a new home! [Listing information © MLSListings Inc. All rights reserved.]Brokered And Advertised By: Dreyfus Properties, Inc.Listing Agent: Lucy Berman

120405-amherst-patioThis one is a Wow!  As in Wow, that photography really hurts to look at.  We’ll include a number of pictures in case the listing is scrubbed from teh internets forever.

You can also try your luck with the Virtual Tour, which has the same pictures, only in much sharper focus.  The color intensity is still dialed up to 11, though, so you keep that feeling you accidentally wandered into The Bee Movie.

120405-amherst-virtualtour-gardenThis photo at right is from the Virtual tour.  It’s the only one not on Zillow as well, and lucky for us, it’s got that riot of color so distinctive of this photographer.  The kind of buyer who wants an investment property in Palo Alto will definitely appreciate this effort that makes it look like a Henri Rousseau painting.

The rest of the photos, available after the break, are straight from Zillow.  That way you can enjoy the blurry effect on top of the bright colors.

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Comments (9) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am