It’s almost time for the weekend, and that means more Open Houses!  Now that Daylight Savings Time is fully in force, we can dispense with Winter Bubble and move directly to Spring Bounce.  So let’s have a look at this stupendously staged showcase, courtesy of Burbed reader Darkhorse.  Thanks very much!  And remember, if you have the perfect (by which we mean not at all perfect) listing for our front page, send it on in with your nominating speech, and you can also have your completely arbitrary internet handle turned into a tag!

1621 HURST Ave
San Jose, CA 95125
$1,245,000

3 Beds
3 Baths
2,150 Sq. Ft.
$579 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1984
Lot Size: 6,435 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 3 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Willow Glen
MLS#: 81307527
Style: Tudor
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Upcoming Open Houses

Saturday, Mar 16: 1:00-4:00 pm
Sunday, Mar 17: 1:00-4:00 pm

Regular & As-Is Sale, a Unique Custom Built Tudor Style Home w/ many upgrades in the last 4 years; Master suite w/ fireplace, guess bedroom, Sauna & Den upstairs; Master bed, 3rd bath w/ shower/steam room, kitchen, pantry/wine cellar, separate laundry area w/ butler downstairs; Beautiful landscaping; 2+2-Car Garage w/ compressor, lift, upstairs Art Studio/Recreation Room/Storage & Long Wide Drive Way.

What did Darkhorse find so Special about this house?  Surely it wasn’t just the compressor.

Willow Glen Listing — Thought you might enjoy this listing. The photos are stunning,  maybe a new staging technique, wonder if the tiger and swords are included with the purchase price.

Tiger? Swords? Darkhorse, how could you possibly miss the DOG PET HANGING OUT?  (Burbed reader DonnieJ says that’s a cat.)

Guess when a house has staging of this caliber, the buyer won’t mind that a Unique Custom Home w/ many upgrades in the last 4 years needs to be listed as-is. But don’t worry, it’s a REGULAR SALE! Park anywhere on the Long Wide Drive Way.

Updated 11:30 AM – Second house found; see end for details and plenty of pix!

AOL has been doing a real estate area for a while, including a series of videos and articles beyond the listings and search tools. Someone over there must have been reading us, because they did a piece discovering that (gasp!) there are very expensive yet definitely crappy houses for sale in the Real Bay Area.  Worse, they had the gall to call this an “AOL original.”

Have they been living under a rock? This has been our signature claim for more than seven years! Let’s listen in as self-important talking heads who don’t bother introducing themselves tell us what we already know.  (Warning: dude with beard is extra smug.)

M’kay.  There’s some really useless accompanying text, so our mission is to do a slightly better job.  Remember, it’s fairly easy to succeed when you set your standards this low.

Decrepit Homes in San Francisco Bay Area Fetch Top Dollar for Mountain Views

By AOL Real Estate Editors | Posted Feb 21st 2013 5:14PM

A sorry-looking shack, with deep cracks in the cinder-block walls and busted windows, that looks like it’s ready to collapse: You wouldn’t pay a dime for that, would you? OK, say it’s nestled in the gorgeous hilltops of the San Francisco Peninsula with no shortage of pristine mountain views. Now how much would you pay? More than $1 million? Well, that’s how much it’s going for.

We’ve probably violated Fair Use by quoting an entire graf, because there’s only one more.  There’s also only two homes in the video, and only the more than $1 million OMFG Emerald Hills (Redwood City) place (shown above in a clip from the video) has mountain views.  The other (at left, also clipped from the video) is in Willow Glen, and didn’t seem to have any views beyond the neighborhood street.

We were able to find the place in Emerald Lake in about 3 minutes, and it definitely could use a big ol’ Burbed sloppy kiss, Of course it’s already pending.  This is the Real Bay Area we’re talking about!

209 LAKEVIEW Way
Redwood City, CA 94062
$1,275,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,490 Sq. Ft.
$856 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1948
Lot Size: 0.38 Acres
On Redfin: 207 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Mountains
County: San Mateo
Stories: 1
Community: Cordilleras Heights
MLS#: 81228879

Incredible opportunity in Emerald Hills. Originally three lots under two APN#’s (APN #057-031-480 and APN #057-031-049) which have been combined into one lot at approximately 25,150 SF. The value is in the land and the views of the surrounding hills with easy access to 280. Walk the site and let your imagination run wild. Dream big and build new or renovate. Plans are available for viewing.

We didn’t have the same success in finding the Willow Glen weedery.  This one is similar to it (Craftsman style bungalow, over 12,000 square foot lot, to be sold as-is) but we don’t think it’s the right house.  Can any enterprising Burbed readers find the house in the video? 

Update: House in video found by Burbed reader Chris. See end of this article for details and photos. We’ll also throw in a break as this is starting to get long, so click on through!

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Some of you seemed a little miffed that there was no featured house yesterday.  Worry not!  We have a complete piece of crap an exciting opportunity for you today!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader peninsula.man for keeping an eye on this Willow Glen wonder.

2417 WESTGATE AVE
San Jose, CA 95125
Offered at $749,000

Active Contingent
Type  Single Family Home
MLS #  ML81234991 
SqFt  1,897
Beds  2 
Baths  1 Full 
Lot Size 8,400 SqFt
Year / Age  1949 / 63

Bring your contractors and do-it-yourselfers. This needs a total remodel or tear down and a new home. Many newer homes around it. Large lot near the gates at Willow Ranch. Take a look and make us an offer. This is a probate sale. Please use CAR form PPA and PAK. A real estate commission will be paid to the successful bidder only. SUBJECT TO OVERBIDS IN COURT

Here’s what peninsula.man had to say while hoisting this listing over the transom:

Honestly this house made me speechless. The idea that someone would buy a 750k tear town in the south bay…is just absurd.

Oh come on, this is the kind of house upon which Burbed was founded, all the way back in 2006.  Three quarters of a million dollars for a house that’s, if not uninhabitable, at least suffering from some poor design choices? 

All we can say to that is… SUBJECT TO OVERBIDS IN COURT.  And… bring it!

Remember when we asked for homes not in Mountain View?  Burbed reader Tracy Tea House did what we asked, and obliged with this wonderful Willow Glen walkup.  Thanks very much!

869 Buchser Way
San Jose CA 95125
Price:  $829,000

Bedrooms: 4
Bathrooms: 2 full, 1 partial
49 days on Trulia
143 views
Property type: Single-Family Home
Size: 2,191 sqft
Lot: Ask agent
Price/sqft: $378/sqft
Year built: 1970
MLS/ID: 81233324
Neighborhood: Willow Glen, 95125

This beautiful updated home features 4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths locates on a quaint Willow Glen cul-de-sac. Set back off the street with a large landscaped front yard and walking distance to popular Downtown, Fresh & Easy grocery story and River Glen Park. Convenient location, great neighborhood.

Here’s why Tracy thought this house belonged on the front page today.

TV’s on, but nobody’s home. We have an ice chest out by the pool, a full side of refrigerator notes, ominous tilting pictures, and a close up of the crack in the pool deck complete with  gloomy shadows. The front of the house takes a long view at ground level. Looks like an easy walk to the market too!

This isn’t just any tilting picture.  This is a tilting picture complete with a space-time anomaly. Buy this house and get the portal to Alpha Centauri III behind the pool heater. It’s the extras in this house that make it so quaint.

“Bunus”: A Willow Glen listing almost in Willow Glen.  But close to Fresh & Easy grocery story.

It’s always good news at Burbed when we hear from a new reader, because we’re sure driving away plenty of old ones!  Today’s find is from Burbed reader peninsula.man.  We’ll assume that non-standard use of punctuation isn’t a periodic mistake but a software.language.habit.

Also today’s property comes from MLSListings, as we continue our Tour of Various Online Listing Websites Because We’re Annoyed That Redfin Stopped Linking To Us Just Because We Hurt Some Realtards’ Fee-Fees.

1645 HICKS AVE
San Jose, CA 95125
$625,000

Active Contingent
Type: Single Family Home
MLS #: ML81233836
SqFt: 1,133
Beds:  2
Lot Size:  7,380 SqFt
Baths:  1 Full
Year / Age:  1947 / 65

AN INCREDIBLE HOME IN WILLOW GLEN! FANTASTIC LOCATION ON GORGEOUS STREET! BEAUTIFUL MOULDING AND FIREPLACE** Flagstone walkway.. ENJOY YOUR COFFEE ON THE SIDE YARD PATIO/DECKING ** lARGE 2 CAR GARAGE W/ COVERED BREEZEWAY to house** NEW AIR CONDITIONER AND FURNACE***NEWER COMPOSITION ROOF*** AWESOME PROPERTY!

Active Contingent? What does that mean in English?  The house is for sale but somebody has dibs on it?

Anyway, here’s why p.man thought this house was worth our collective whiles:

i REALLY DO NOT THINK THE CAPITAL LETTERS CHANGE THAT THIS HOUSE IS A MATCH BOX! FOR 625K!!!!! sfdkjbdlskjfnlk dsjnfkljsdnlkfjnsdlk LKDFNLDKFJNG LKJDFN LGKJNDF LKJNDGFLKJNFDLK

I bet he says that to all the girls.

Besides, look at this amazing living room.  All the SHOUTING CAPITAL LETTERS in the LISTING COPY are all about drinking coffee OUTSIDE.  Why isn’t the agent singing the praises of the living room and the kitchen (above)?  The former is so evocative of a sunrise, and the kitchen responds with a sunset.  Or maybe the agent messed up the white balance.

We’ll leave it up to our readers to tell us what this shot at right is saying.  But one thing that comes to mind is we’re so glad this shooter aimed high.

Also this may be the only property we were sent in 6 months that claimed to be in Willow Glen and actually was in Willow Glen.

We haven’t had any Willow Glen properties in a while, or even not-really-in-Willow Glen-but-claiming-to-be listings.  Today’s featured home was sent to us by bmwman91.  Thanks very much for this #winning not-Willow Glen wonder.

2143 GLENKIRK Dr
San Jose, CA 95124
$975,000

BEDS:  4
BATHS:  2.5
SQ. FT.:  2,344
$/SQ. FT.:  $416
LOT SIZE:  8,288 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT:  1964
COMMUNITY:  Willow Glen
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81224337
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN:  33 days

REG Sale. LOCATION LOCATION! Needs some cosmetic updates , JUST A BIKE RIDE TO DOWNTOWN WILLOW GLEN. Upgrades Include: CUSTOM CROWN MOLDING, NEW PAINT, REFNSHD WOOD FLRS, 6 BURNER GAS RANGE STNLSS STEEL DSHWSHR, TRSH COMPCTR, TILED FLR. BATH W/ TILE FLOORS & JETTED TUB. FURNACE & CENT AIR apprx 12 YRS OLD. , COMP ROOF apprx 14 YRS. , AUTO SPRINKLERS.

Here’s why bmwman91 shared this house with us:

[The owners] are clearly savvy about cashing in on some of the instant equity that the last seller left hidden in the medicine cabinet in 2005, by listing it for $145k more than was paid for it at the peak. Maybe they need the extra cash to buy some furniture.

Since when was 2005 the peak?  This place might have topped out in 2006, easy!  But we agree about the furniture.  That table sure gets around!

One thing we aren’t sure about is what neighborhood this house is in, but it sure is not Willow Glen.  Google maps isn’t really helping, as it seems to have this house in a neighborhood dead zone.

There’s a few more names that pop up as you zoom in, but nothing for the area bounded by Hamilton, Leigh, Curtner, and Meridian.  We’re going to go with Cambrian with Campbell-San Jose as a second choice.  Maybe even Dry Creek.  But Willow Glen?  We don’t think so, unless it’s this not-Willow Glen neighborhood called “Willow Glen South Lincoln Glen.”  You know, where they have to point out it’s a REG Sale.

So readers, your job is to explain why this not-in-Willow Glen house is worth $145K more than it was in 2005.  Be sure to support your answer by referring to this fine example of a listing photo.

Sometimes we’ll run a few ginormous homes with even more WTF price tags, but here at Burbed we never forget our roots.  This blog was founded on small homes at big prices in poor condition, and Burbed reader sonarrat certainly has found two out of three.

978 DELMAS Ave
San Jose, CA 95125
$344,900

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 778
$/SQ. FT.: $443
LOT SIZE: 5,480 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1925
COMMUNITY: Willow Glen
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81202775
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN: 26 days

Quaint 2 bedroom, 1 bath Willow Glen charmer on a fabulous lot! Bits of character that needs your touch.

Here’s why sonarrat sent in this charmer!

this is stick built? Really?

I think you must have misheard the agent.  This house is sick-built.  Although I like the “bunus” in the bathroom where the realtard couldn’t be bothered to move the trash can out of the photo.

And of course it’s an REO!  If you wanted to buy it from the previous owners, you could have done so last year for just $299,000.  But we can all enjoy these pictures instead of the boring ones the bank put up.  (Thanks so much to Movoto, for not updating the listing despite it being canceled a year ago!)

Here’s the listing copy that went with the house when this was a regular sale:

Great starter home in Willow Glen neighborhood. Walk to Lincoln Avenue restaurants and shops. Manicured backyard with giant avacado tree! Spa in backyard too! Can’t beat the price! Move-in ready. Priced to sell FAST!

I really like that the exact same shot of the bathroom yields no trash can, but the toilet seat is up.

Today we have a Guest Post from Burbed reader bmwman91.  There’s some new construction in Willow Glen (okay, within 2 miles of it), and we’re going to get a detailed look.  Very detailed.  I’m just disappointed that all the listings changed from the bogus claim that these places were in a “better” zip than it was built in.

Please give bmwman91 a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome as today’s Guest Blogger.

Prelude, August 2011

There is (was) a huge lot at 1345 Foxworthy Avenue. It was purchased in 2008 and construction started on five McMansions early this year. There does not seem to be much information about what they will be listing these for (yet), but my parents live in that area and heard that the smallest house (2500SF) will be listed at $899k. I believe that all lots are 5000SF.

The funny part is that, in order to extort more money from buyers (idiots), they are building a new 100 foot long "road" off of Foxworthy so that these can bask in the prestige of 95125, rather than be subjected to 95118 with all the other uncultured peasants of Robertsville.

Robertsville…dear god, who would ever raise a child in a place with such an inorganic name. It sounds like some sort of brand you would find at Safeway. Willow Glen…now there’s something worthy of the shelves at Whole Foods! Think about the children!

I plan to keep tabs on these monstrosities when I visit my folks in San Jose (since I am being a rentard in more RBA-esque Mountain View). All I can really do is sit & wait, hoping to see the absurd initial listing prices go untaken & these houses sit empty for a long time until [whoever] built them loses their ass and has to accept reality. It won’t happen because Willow Glen High is still a magnet for people that must have suffered brain damage when they became parents and they will gladly mortgage their lives for "the children." Surely it is worth it. Lincoln Avenue is so quaint and European (until you wander too far and cross the train tracks).

Anyway, I will try to snap a few photos of these abortions-in-progress next time I am in that area. Hopefully this will provide some delightful entertainment for Burbed readers!

Keep reading to find out what happened when a couple of these new homes were put up for sale!  –Ed.

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Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tracy for today’s featured listing, which should be twice as much fun as the usual property of the day.

2342 RICHLAND Ave, San Jose, CA 95125
$850,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 3.5
SQ. FT.: 2,175
$/SQ. FT.: $391
LOT SIZE: 10,500 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Cottage/Bungalow
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1940
COMMUNITY: Willow Glen
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81126291
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 16 days

The most unique property in Willow Glen. Perfect for the extended family. This home is capability of being either large single family home or two completely separate units (duplex) with all the privacy of two homes. There are two of everything. Kitchens, Living rooms, Laundry rooms, fireplaces, dishwashers, furnances, water heaters, entrances and much more. All on one of the best streets in Willow Glen.

At least it isn’t “very unique,” merely “the most unique.”  There are two of everything, even two furnances, but only on one of the best streets.  I would have paid $850K if it were on two of the best streets.

Look, there’s even two pieces of old, crappy furniture in the back yard!  I bet there’s even more most unique antiques on the other side of that fence.

But riddle me this: if there’s two of everything, then how come there are three bedrooms?

That means one part of the house gets an extra bedroom and (gasp) one does not.  Same deal with the bathrooms: 3.5 baths means one of them doesn’t have a bath or shower.

And this agent is having some more fun with us.  Did you catch the same picture in there twice (see red outline)?  And two cars in that doubled picture.

For extra fun, find the second bike and the second ladder and Waldo.

You know what else I’m wondering?  Does this place have two mortgages too?

A little while ago we had this century-old listing in Willow Glen, where someone had bought the property and subdivided the lot, then built three houses all in a row behind the original one.  Thanks to Burbed reader nomadic, who found this listing in comments, we bring you one of those “newer” homes.

906 WILLOWSHIRE Way, San Jose, CA 95125
$749,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2.5
SQ. FT.: 1,994
$/SQ. FT.: $376
LOT SIZE: 2,613 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 2008
COMMUNITY: Willow Glen
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81119719
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 35 days

THREE YEARS OLD AND NEVER BEEN LIVED IN!PHENOMENAL HOME. JUST MOMENTS TO THE FINE AMENITIES OF DOWNTOWN LINCOLN AVE!CHIC DESIGNER STYLE THRUOUT. HIGH END FINISHES. STAINLESS APPLIANCES. GORGEOUS HARDWOOD FLOORS. TO DIE FOR MASTER SUITE W/ FIREPLACE. MASTER BATH W/ JETTED TUB. HIS AND HERS CLOSETS. CLOSE TO PARKS, SCHOOLS, NEW LIBRARY, & FRESH & EASY GROCERY STORE.

Yes, this is the same Realtard as the old house, and she’s SHOUTING AT YOU just as LOUDLY.  Hmmm.  At first I wondered if she was behind the development in the first place, but the 2008 attempts at sale, as well as the April sales used a different broker.  The limited liability corporation behind this development was called Willowshire LLC, with a mailing address in Saratoga. The contractor was Vern Easthouse, of Los Gatos, and the construction was approved by the San Jose Planning Department back in 2005.  The three new houses were begun in May 2007 and finished in August, 2008.

Meanwhile, soon after they were finished, the ownership was transferred from Willowshire to United Security Bank of Fresno, by way of some capital service, not the one which held the construction loan.  Whoops!  I found a Notice of Default dated June, 2008, so the financial problems hit before the homes were finished.  There were a couple of mechanic’s liens filed against them too.

Meanwhile, there’s another long list of asking prices being changed, delistings, relistings, etc. etc.  Here’s what Zillow had on this place:

There’s similar roller-coaster action with the original old house as well.

A Cisco manager married to a financial consultant bought one of the three new houses in 2009.  A Yahoo executive married to an Internet startup CEO bought another one of the new houses in 2010 and recently signed a consent decree for this property, which suggests he had some kind of lawsuit going against the development.  The original house in front and the remaining new one was bought from United Security Bank by a Palo Alto developer this April for $570K… but it had been sitting empty for 3 years.  New light bulbs and Drano now installed, it’s your turn to move in!

Best of all, when you want to do that Pride of Ownership/Water Your Own Lawn thing… it won’t take a lot of your time.  Check out that lot: 2613 square feet.  Your gardener will charge you more to drive to your house than to rake the leaves!