Today’s building is not only in soooo prestigious Woodside (home of the record-breaking $117.5 million property sale), it’s got a look that makes it so much more than merely a trophy home.  Plus it’s just steps away from cosmopolitan Redwood City!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this superb structure.

240 CINNABAR Rd
Woodside, CA 94062
$14,800,000

4 Beds
5 Baths
8,669 Sq. Ft.
$1,707 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1991
Lot Size: 3.01 Acres
On Redfin: 131 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 3
Community: Woodside Hills
MLS#: 81235457
Style: Contemporary
View: Bay, City Lights
County: San Mateo

MODERN HIGH-TECH HOME ON 3+ PRIVATE ACRES WITH SWEEPING VIEWS OF SF BAY, EAST BAY HILLS & STANFORD. 2-STORY LR W/ WALLS OF GLASS ORIENTED TOWARD THE VIEW; FLOATING STAIRCASE, FULLY CUSTOMIZED LIBRARY AND OFFICE; 4 BED PLUS 2 MULTI-ROOM APTS; ELEVATOR; 21 KW SOLAR SYSTEM, UNDERGROUND GARAGE; 12′ CEILINGS IN BASEMENT; GROUNDS W/ INFINITY POOL, SPA, TERRACES, PLAYGROUND, PUTTING GREEN, FIREPIT

12’ CEILINGS IN BASEMENT? Unless there’s a squash court in there, why would you need the basement floors so deep?  Was this a former mausoleum but they’re just not copping to it?

And have a good look at the aerial shot: as PG so aptly notes, all those smaller lots are Redwood City in your backyard.  Don’t worry, despite bordering your property, they can’t get to your street.

It’s the FLOATING STAIRCASE that scares them away.

You’ve heard of eBay, right?  If you have something to sell, you can put a picture or five of your item on eBay and wait for the overbids to start racking up.  But sometimes, you just want to have the silly thing sold without the annoyance of setting a minimum bid or being sued for someone sniping someone else’s bid, or finding out your high bidder is expecting you to ship 100 jigsaw puzzles to Estonia for the $8 shipping fee you cleverly padded onto the final asking price.

We’ve covered houses going up for auction before, but this is the first one we’ve seen with another eBay feature.  Thanks very much to Michael Boltonestater for this wonderful wealthsink in Woodside.

320 HARCROSS Rd
Woodside, CA 94062
$12,950,000

BEDS: 7
BATHS: 8
SQ. FT.: 10,010
$/SQ. FT.: $1,294
LOT SIZE: 5 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: French
STORIES: 3
VIEW: Bay, Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1929
COMMUNITY: Woodside Hills
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81124548
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 383 days

AUCTION June 14 Starting Bid $7.9M Buy It Now for $12,950M “Le Soleil” a spectacular, c1920′s French Chateau, majestically set on 5+/- acres of exquisitely-landscaped grounds within sought-after-Woodside in the heart of Silicon Valley. Restored and renovated w/ modern amenities the estate features 7BDS, 7BATHS expansive terraces, tennis court, pool/spa and vineyards. Near 2 international airports

Yes, you did read that correctly.  “Buy it now for $12,950M”  Funny, “Mary & Brent” doesn’t sound particularly French.

But the price in the listing copy isn’t the only thing French about “Le Soleil.”  Because it’s just as French to not particularly care if the auction went ahead last week, or got delayed until October.  Remember, the French word for mañana is lendemain, but it doesn’t have quite the same sense of urgency.

This has got to be the first “Was $21M” house we’ve ever seen with postage-stamp-sized MLS photos.  Every single exterior shot is under 200 pixels.  Maybe they are postage stamps and we’ll be seeing them on wedding invitations all summer.

As to real property that you can Buy it Now on eBay?  Here’s something we swear we are not making up.

Okay, you can put this one on your American Express card, but is it near 2 International airports?

Let’s finish up the week with a visit to the wonderful world of Woodside.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for this rococo residence that may have you ralphing.

110 KENMORE Way
Woodside, CA 94062
$1,699,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 3.5
SQ. FT.: 3,460
$/SQ. FT.: $491
LOT SIZE: 1.04 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Mountains
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Woodside Hills
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81218775
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 21 days

Enjoy this spacious, single-level, View Contemporary features 3 Bedrooms, 3.5 Bath plus formal Library/Study, on a quiet, private cul-du-sac in the highly sought-after Woodside Hills community. Live-in, remodel to suit, or build anew to take advantage of this huge 1.04 * acre lot with sweeping western hill views. The home at its prime was featured in Architectural Digest and Gentry Magazine.

That first sentence doesn’t scan at all.  It starts off telling you to enjoy the house but gets lost in panting over the features.  Just because you’re spending over a million on a house doesn’t mean you should expect a realtard capable of proofing his own copy.  Anyway, here’s why nomadic sent this property in:

This house isn’t that bad, but a phrase in the copy is amusing: “the home at its prime was featured in Architectural Digest and Gentry Magazine.  When?  I’d guess around 1960.  Hmm, according to their website, Gentry Magazine (apparently a pretentious publication) was established in 1993.  That hardly seems possible!

1993?  Then what’s with the mermaid on the website?  Splash came out in 1984, and even The Little Mermaid beat the 90s by a month and a half.  But if you read the current issue online, page 5 has a much pricier place in Woodside with the same high-falutin’ terms as eBay.  Yup, a minimum bid and a Buy it Now price.

Okay, back to this house.  “The house isn’t that bad”?  How could it be bad?  It has mawbul kawlums!  Some of the other photos, though, suggest someone with too much money and no understanding of the term “less is more.”  Because when it comes to the photos of this house, more is definitely not more.  Maybe someone should tell the agent that plastering his name prominently across every single listing photo only adds to that “gilding the gold-plated fixtures” feeling.

And that doesn’t include the utterly pedestrian street name.  Look, if you have enough wealth to buy in Woodside, you do not want to live on a street that reminds you of your mother’s crappy dishwasher.  Maybe you could make a donation to the Mayor’s favorite charity in return for a declaration renaming the street Miele Manor or Bosch Boulevard.  If you need inspiration, start leafing through Gentry Magazine.

Coming soon!  We can’t wait!