Professionally Staged, but Amateur Scripting
Here’s a Mountain View find flip from Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater, new to the market! Thanks very much, Michael.
155 HAMILTON Ave, Mountain View, CA 94043
$899,000BEDS:3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,280
$/SQ. FT.: $702
LOT SIZE: 5,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Modern/High Tech, Contemporary
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Thompson
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81143278
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 1 day
NEW LISTING (24 HOURS)Heavily sought out “Eichler” home! Professionally Staged! This home has been completely remodeled; new & refinished kitchen cabinets & hardwood floors, gleaming granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, new fixtures throughout home, both baths redone extensive stone work w/ new sinks, tiled shower walls, vanity’s, nickel brush hardware and shower doors! Newly landscaped thougout!
Michael notes a comparable home on a bigger lot has a Zestimate in the high $700s and says, “Good luck to them!” Clearly Michael doesn’t understand that just like in the arts, real estate is also all about appearances, promotion, and expectation. All is vanity’s! If this home lists for a higher price than the neighborhood would support, it’s because
the seller is telling us It’s Special Here thougout! Sure, the front of the house looks rather unwelcoming, but that’s a feature. Marauding bands of Occupy Mountain View toughs won’t think this place is part of the 1%!
Meanwhile, to see how Special this place really is,check out the virtual tour! This kind of attention to detail thougout is what makes a property worth paying a hundred thousand over comps. For example. the solid door leads to gardage. Bet you didn’t know this house was equipped with Beefeaters!
And the new ceiling fan (spinning), just like this Realtard is.
And here’s the flip hat-trick of stainless, granite and hardwood. We also have some awkward usage here (back-splash?) as well as the first of three (count ‘em, three) uses of the Realtard ejaculation “light and bright,” although never before have I seen it used as a quantity.
Take the tour, plenty of fun things to find! And it was professionally staged, so enjoy the $164,000 markup performance. See you at intermission!
And if you think this is too much staging, there’s always the original source material to fall back upon (thanks to dollarbin for that find). For example, this charming photo is, I kid you not, the “program cover” of the old listing. But there isn’t a single spelling error in the listing copy thougout.