Today’s delicious domicile comes to you from Alameda, the island garden of the Bay.  Or should we say Oakland Afloat? Estuary Estates? Maybe you have an even better name for Alameda than those! Thanks very much to Burbed reader JL for finding a house with a creative command to the buyer.

492 MCDONNEL Rd
Alameda, CA 94502
$599,000

3 Beds
2.5 Baths
1,625 Sq. Ft.
$369 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1992
Lot Size: 3,895 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 19 days
Status: Pending
HOA Dues: $365/month
Style: Contemporary
Community: Bay Colony
MLS#: 40601391
Type: Duet
Stories: 2
County: Alameda

Very sunny duet home W/ big lot, great size open backyd, spacious driveway, cul-de-sac. Extra high ceiling grand entrance. Gorgeous new kitchen. double pane window. HOA cover exterior, roof, front yd & insurance. close to ferry terminal. One of a kind. Must see. Nobody pass away inside the house.

Here’s what JL had to say about the house:

Burbed is the best! I had to pass along an Alameda listing that has generous and inexplicable amounts of fail.

First, there’s only outside pictures. Never a good sign. But the best thing is the description. Granted, I think we may have a non-native speaker as the writer, but the last line is hilarious no matter what.

The strange thing is, this looks like a nice house. The redfin Streetview link takes you to a street over a block, but if you go to Google street view directly, it shows a decent-looking place. So the Redfin listing could have been nice, but instead was awesomely bad.

Awesomely bad? It’s not every house that’s not just part of a cookie-cutter tract but a gol-durn “duet home” in a cookie cutter tract that can call itself “one of a kind”! Now that’s awesomely something!  Plus there’s insurance in the front yard! The $365 a month HOA fees are just the cherry on this Win Sundae!

We tried to find the collection of “only outside pictures” without success.  Other listing sites either had the photos removed (with the listing marked as off market) or a slightly different set of photos, inside as well as out.  Here are a couple more, just in case Redfin yanks these bright and early Monday morning. 

And we mean it about the bright, as the Cherenkov radiation is strong in this one.  Just for grins, check out the outdoor pix on Zillow!  Must see.

Serious WHOA.  Of course if we had a yard like that, we wouldn’t pass away inside the house either.

How much should land in the Real Bay Area cost, when they aren’t making any more of it?  It’s hard to tell, as most of it is already covered with houses.  But today’s featured property, courtesy of Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater, may help us get an idea.  All together now: Mountain View, so close to Google!

344 BRYANT Ave
Mountain View, CA 94040
$4,400,000

3 Beds 
1 Baths 
1,216 Sq. Ft.
$3,618 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1953 
Lot Size: 0.93 Acres 
On Redfin: 1 day
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Grant
MLS#: 81301915
Style: Traditional, Cottage/Bungalow
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

3BR/1BA WITH SPACIOUS KITCHEN OVERLOOKING YARD. FEATURES INCLUDE LIVING ROOM WITH REFINISHED HARDWOOD FLOORS, INSIDE LAUNDRY ROOM WITH PANTRY, & APPROVED PLANS FOR REMODEL/EXPANSION INTO SPACIOUS ATTIC AREA. POSSIBLE 4 LOT SUBDIVISION ON APPROXIMATELY 40,000SF LOT (. 93 ACRES). OUTSTANDING DEVELOPMENT OPTIONS WITH ACCESS FROM BRYANT FILOMENA COURT. IDEALLY LOCATED IN WELL ESTABLISHED NEIGHBORHOOD.

You know the agent is just phoning this one in to long list of OPPORTUNITY-minded investors. Otherwise, this house with all its expansion plans could have easily been featured instead of just an aerial shot.  Heck, Google even managed to find something once we realized the Redfin map was pointing to the wrong place (over at Beaumont and Apricot, and wonder why that happened, huh?)

Also look at this very odd cul-de-sac that abuts the property (right underneath the lot on the lower right).  Looks like it only culled half de sac.

So, do you think land in Mountain View in a good zip without the good schools is worth a million for a quarter acre?  Can you make money as a developer when your land costs are that high?  New homes in nearby Enclave at Waverly Park development (the old Pumpkin Patch property) went for $2M+, but they built 53 big houses there.  Hard to get economies of scale when this lot will support four of them.

Perhaps the third time’s a charm for this huge investment opportunity. The buyer is sticking to this price regardless of which agent has the deal.

Burbed got its start almost seven years ago, featuring very expensive houses in very questionable locations in very poor repair.  But housing win isn’t all crapboxes and open potties and questionable listing copy.  Sometimes there’s much to enjoy with a premium listing as well.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader SMParkster for following up on a fantabulous feudal feast!

331 GREER Rd
Woodside, CA 94062
$85,000,000

9 Beds 
8.5 Baths 
9,000 Sq. Ft.
$9,444 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1946 
Lot Size: 91.94 Acres 
On Redfin: 60 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Central Woodside
MLS#: 81241344
Style: Colonial
View: Mountains, Lake
County: San Mateo

LANDMARK PROPERTY NEVER BEFORE ON THE MARKET. PROPERTY CONSISTS OF 3 PARCELS—PARCEL #072-052-020 51.04 ACRES. .PARCEL #072-052-260 39.40 ACRES AND PARCEL #072-072-010 1.5 ACRES TOTALING APPROX 91.94 ACRES. .BORDERED ON ONE SIDE BY HUDDART PARK, GLORIOUS LAND W/ ROLLING OAK-STUDDED HILLS OPEN MEADOWS & ENDLESS VIEWS. CIRCA 1941 COLONIAL ESTATE HOME, GATEHOUSE & CARETAKER’S COTTAGE. WOODSIDE SCHOOL

Wait, this place looks familiar.

Flood estate in Woodside is for sale… $85 million.  Perfect example of why Prop 13 needs to go…. the most recent property tax was under $8000. 

That estate doesn’t look flooded at all, but we admit we didn’t check all 92 acres of it.  Maybe that lake used to be the golf course. 

And what’s this “On Redfin 60 days”?  SM sent this in four months ago.  When we went to check the listing history for further hints, we found only an MLS listing entry from November, plus an announcement that the seller didn’t want any estimates of the property’s value, so no links to any of the automated home valuation websites would be provided.

Like this one.

They’re awfully sensitive about any of you finding out that you could rent this place out for $6500 a month instead of Buying It Now for $85M.  As the agent helpfully points out, “You never see this kind of land.”

The median Home Value in Mountain View, according to Zillow, is $877,900.  So what could you get for that amount, if you looked for a house in some other part of the country?  If you were willing to look in Maryland, you could get this nice painting of a house.  Plus HOA fees every month!

LOT 10, STURBRIDGE
Brookville, MD 20833
$852,900

Ownership Type : Fee Simple
Bedrooms : 4
Type : Detached
Full Bathrooms : 3
Status : Active
Half Bathrooms : 1
List Date : 09/25/2011
Square feet : 4500
Days on Market : 468
Price per sq. ft : $189
Status Date : 09/25/2011
Approx Lot Size (Acres) : 1.0
Price : $852,900
Approx Lot Size (Sq.Ft.) : 43560
Location : BROOKEVILLE MD 20833
Year Built : 2012

HOA Fee : $500.00 Annually
Elementary School : BUSHY PARK
ADC map : 8J12
Middle School : GLENWOOD
Advertised Subdivision : RIVERCREST IN HOWARD COUNTY
High School : GLENELG
DESCRIPTION
Short Sale : No

Remarks : ASK ABOUT OUR SPECIAL INCENTIVES! MASTER LISTING – “STURBRIDGE” LOT 10, OTHER LOTS AVAIL FROM $892,900. SCENIC, 1 ACRE WOODED HOMESITES OVERLOOKING CATTAIL CREEK! CUSTOMIZATION & STATE OF THE ART ENERGY EFFICIENCY INCL IN EVERY HOME! OTHER HOME DESIGNS AVAIL OR CUSTOM BUILD. MODEL OPEN DAILY 10AM-5PM @ 2836 MILLERS WAY DRIVE, ELLICOTT CITY, MD 21043.

Internet Remarks : ASK ABOUT OUR SPECIAL INCENTIVES! MASTER LISTING – “STURBRIDGE” LOT 10, OTHER LOTS AVAIL FROM $892,900. SCENIC, 1 ACRE WOODED HOMESITES OVERLOOKING CATTAIL CREEK! CUSTOMIZATION & STATE OF THE ART ENERGY EFFICIENCY INCL IN EVERY HOME! OTHER HOME DESIGNS AVAIL OR CUSTOM BUILD. MODEL OPEN DAILY 10AM-5PM @ 2836 MILLERS WAY DRIVE, ELLICOTT CITY, MD 21043.

Holy crap, that’s a lot of CAPITAL LETTERS for the same price you’d pay in Mountain View.  Plus you get a house that hasn’t even been built yet, so you have no idea of the build quality or the feng shui.  And just think of how much work it’s going to be mowing an entire acre or dusting 4500 sf of house.

For this much money in Mountain View, you’d be looking at a vintage one bedroom from 1948,on a 6969 sf foot lot (we’re just reporting the listing, we’re not making innuendos). It boasts a spacious 914 foot floor plan.  Plus the comparable Maryland place, while near such cosmopolitan confluences like Laytonsville,is 2831 miles from Google (we checked).  In current traffic that’s a whizzy 41 hour commute.  One way.

Also, no HOA fees for vintage homes in Mountain View.

Bunus: The home in Maryland was never featured on Burbed, either.  And homes in Maryland, whether or not they’re built, don’t go up $125K in just five months.  Or down $50K at the exact same time. 

Happy Thanksgiving!  Sorry today’s house is late, as we were up all night prepping for a Burbed Feast.  Did you know how difficult it is to cut up the Real Bay Area into Census districts of half inch cubes without crossing any zip codes?

Now on to our entree. Today’s house was sent in by one of its former owners, a Burbed reader who wishes to remain anonymous.  Can’t imagine why!

361 Ardis Ave
San Jose, CA 95117 
Price:  $555,000

Loan Payment:  $1,902/mo
Bedrooms:  4
Bathrooms:  3
Size:  2,943 sqft
$/Sqft:  $188/sqft
Type:  Single Family House
Year Built:  1951
Lot Size:  9,424
Days on Movoto:  547 days
Sold Date:  05/31/11
MLS#:  81123441
Status:  Sold for $535,000

Contractors special-Huge Lot w/ Unlimited Potential. Build your Dream Home near Santana Row/Valley Fair.

Here’s what our unnamed fan has to say about today’s main course:

The house that keeps on giving.. Yes I was one of the people who lost money on this West Valley Brigadoon. The person who bought it from me, never did one thing he said, just held it and turned it for my profit… This wreck has been untouched through 4 sales…

Will the next buyer be able to rehab this behemoth???

Bad houses happen to good people :-0

This house was sent in just a week and a half ago, but the usually suspect real estate sites have it marked as sold already.  Either our correspondent just noticed his/her old place changed hands after almost two years on the market, or there’s a more recent listing we’re not finding.

Hey, Redfin, pass the white meat!  Click on through if you’re joining us from the front page.  The table is groaning.

(more…)

We’ve been spending too much time in Santa Clara County, which means we’re forgetting about the other eight counties in the Bay Area.  So let’s head north for today’s front-page feature.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tom Paine for this deep subject.

4291 Gravenstein Highway S
Sebastopol, CA 95472

Listed for $535,800 on 2/1/12
Several price cuts, to $315K on 10/19
Sold for $310,000 on 11/8/12

BANK OWNED
1 Story Detached
3 bedrooms
2 bathrooms
2,535 sq ft
3.45 acres
13 years old
15 Photos
Style: Ranch
Lot Size: 3.45 ac
Mortgage Payment: $1,114/mo
Taxes –
Year Built: 1999
Subdivision: Sebastopol
Stories: 1
MLS #21202510
WalkScore™:18

Nice piece of property on 3.4 acres. Cash only buyers. No financing. Serious defects include well contamination, rotted foundation and extensive wood rot.

Here’s why Tom thought this nowhere-near-the-Real Bay Area estate deserved to be all tarted up on Burbed:

Think of enjoying the beautiful views in the morning, sipping that cup of extra flavorful coffee and smelling the sweet scent of rot. And you get that special REO deed that doesn’t guarantee title as a bonus!

Can’t imagine why this didn’t sell faster.  Nothing is more authentically Marin than extensive wood rot.  But you get all this prestige at a Sonoma County price (complete with a Sonoma County address)!

This is also one of those listings we had to play Where’s Waldo with, because it didn’t show up on Redfin or several others.  Plus it had different listing copy with fewer but blurrier photos on Zillow:

4291 Gravenstein Hwy S
Sebastopol, CA 95472
Not for Sale

Zestimate $392,863
Rent Zestimate $2,458/mo
Est. Mortgage $1,371/mo

Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sqft: 2,535
Lot: 150,282 sq ft / 3.45 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1999
Fireplace: Yes
County: Sonoma
Legal description: MAP D5 151
Parcel #: 062240030
Per floor sqft: 2,535
Total rooms: 7
# Stories: 1.0
Unit cnt: 1
Zillow Home ID: 15806148

Excellent country estate on over 3.4 acres. Home features tile entry, large living area with fireplace & fish tank, granite counter tops & island in kitchen, oversized master bedroom w/sitting area. Outside kitchen with built-in BBQ. Fantastic views of pastures, hills and seasonal creek. Pre qual with BOFA required on all offers. Cash buyers are subject to Deed restriction.

Bunus: Check out the listing history!

Listings tend to fall into certain kinds of categories here at Burbed.  There’s your all around crapshack, usually sold for the land value and no pictures inside.  There’s your overbuilt flip that’s wrong for the neighborhood.  There’s your overbuilt “dream home” that’s wrong for any neighborhood, and its cousin, the nightmare home whose builder ran out of money. Burbed reader Tracy Tea House has found us something else entirely over in East San Jose: winner of the wtf tag.

1764 Mount Kenya Dr
San Jose, CA 95127
Not for Sale

Zestimate $434,672
Rent Zestimate $2,549/mo
Est. Mortgage $1,507/mo

Beds: 5
Baths: 2
Sqft: 1,884
Lot: 5,662 sq ft / 0.13 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1961
Construction quality: 6.0
County: Santa Clara
Last remodel year: 1961
Legal description: TRACT 2450 MT PLEASANT BOOK 132 PAGE1 7 LOT 792
Lot depth: 105
Lot width: 54
Parcel #: 64724054
Per floor sqft: 1,884
Total rooms: 7
# Stories: 2.0
Structure type: Other
Unit cnt: 1
Zillow Home ID: 19786732

Split level home with so much potential. Three bedrooms upstairs and two downstairs. Open floor plan with large living room. Inside laundry. Downstairs bedrooms may be locked but rest of the house is view-able. Large separate storage room outside, detached workshop. Some double-pane windows. Home needs front and back landscaping, has nice decorative stone wall. Good handyman special.

We’re not going to let a little thing like the house not being for sale stop us.  Besides, Movoto’s got it for $350,000.

Here’s what Tracy had to say when sending in this Alum Rock redoubt:

Do not drink before viewing these pictures!

Oh wow. Wrong in so many ways, but the picture of the kitchen is a first for me! This house just hit the market for 350K

What, you’ve never seen green cabinets before?  Oh, you mean this one.

We don’t think we’ve ever seen one of those in a kitchen before either.  Guess putting it outside isn’t that good an idea.

Bunus: Check out the (five years) old listing photos currently on Redfin.

Today’s featured home was sent in by Burbed reader waiting_for_the_fall.  We’re delighted to receive it, not only because this is the first contribution from this long-time regular we’ve seen in a while (or maybe even ever), but also because it’s from a part of the Bay Area we don’t cover as often as Silicon Valley.  This house is in the East Bay, and a part we don’t get too many nominations for, and best of all, it’s selling for less than not a lot of money.

Remember, if a house is in Northern California, it too can be Burbable!  Send your favorites on in to one of the email addresses in the upper right corner.

8633 Briarwood Ln
Dublin, CA 94568
$425,000

Zestimate® $406,121
Est. Mortgage $1,489/mo
Beds: 4
Baths: 2
Sqft: 1,338
Lot: 7,649 sq ft / 0.18 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1963
On Zillow: 1030 days
MLS #: 40562786
View Virtual Tour (opens new tab)

This is a four bedroom/two bathroom home with 1338 sq. ft. The roof is approximately nine years old and Dual Pane Windows throughout. Plus Converted garage into a large beautiful family room w/storage. The living room has a gas burning fireplace. Huge private backyard with a large patio and tall trees. RV Access Parking is a PLUS!

Here’s what wftf said when sending us this place:

Will you please check out the price fluctuations on this craptastic house?  It made me dizzy reading the wild price gyrations on zillow.
And it is pending!

I give up.  The banks are winning.

Did you know you can’t spell wftf without wtf?  Because wtf is definitely the best reaction to the price gyrations on Zillow.

So is this house in the Real Bay Area or isn’t it?  It more than doubled in the ten years between 1996 and 2005, but then… not so much.  Since buying this house for 630 big ones, the current owner has tried listing it at $674K just two years later, and then started throwing prices at the wall seeing if any of them would stick.  Not sticking in addition to $674K were just under $600K (with lucky 8s!!!), reducing it to $429K (just 3 months later). 

Price goes down, price goes up.  Plus at least four different agents, at four different brokers.  It all adds up to an eyepopping over thousand day old listing!

Then again, perhaps this lovely room is what’s keeping the buyers away, since it appears to have girl cooties.

Menlo Park, like its nearby neighbors, is having a bit of a real estate run right now.  Fortunately, some properties have that certain je ne sais pas that put them on our front page no matter how much Facebook employees want to buy a house.  Today’s featured facade, foisted upon us by Burbed reader peninsula.man, punctuates this perfectly.  Please proceed.

410 8TH AVE
Menlo Park, CA 94025
Offered at $699,000
- Pending (Do Not Show)

Type: Single Family Home
MLS #  ML81233923 
SqFt  2,170
Beds  5  Baths  3 Full / 1 Partial 
Lot Size 5,350 SqFt
Year / Age  1935 / 77
Virtual Tour
BuildFax 
 
This spacious and newly remodeled home with 2170 sf is in immaculate move-in condition. Beautifully updated kitchen, baths, recessed lighting, crown moldings, dual-pane windows, and Cherry engineered hardwood floors. Secure front gate with professionally landscaped yard. A perfect home with great convenient location, ready and waiting for its new owner.

And here’s what the P-Man himself has to say about this place:

Can not wait to live next to pizza hut! for just over half a million

More like almost half again over half a million. You’ve been living on the Peninsula too long if $199,000 isn’t worth mentioning in a home price.

More importantly, these photos suggest that this not-quite-vintage-enough-to-qualify-for-the-old-house-tag listing has had a few upgrades put in recently.  Very recently.  Because let’s have a look at the last time this place went pending.

410 8TH Ave
Menlo Park, CA 94025
$355,000 –  Last Sold Price

4 Beds 
4.5 Baths 
2,000 Sq. Ft.
$178 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1935 
Lot Size: 5,350 Sq. Ft. 
Sold On: Jan 13, 2012
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo
Stories: 1
Community: County Area/Fair Oaks Ave
MLS#: 81150047

This property is a fixer upper need cash buyer to buy this property

Someone had the cash, as the place went pending in eleven days.  Now look what they did to it!  This time it went pending in only seven days. 

Whoops, according to Zillow it went pending in seven days after the $76,000 price reduction five weeks after the $50,000 price reduction which was a month after this place was first listed for an eye-popping $825,000. 

Where the heck do they think they are, Mountain View?  Bunus: House is not actually next to Pizza Hut. 

You can clearly see there is a Quik-Stop in the way.  Be sure to check out the Streetview so you can appreciate this location, location, location! 

Score! Trash bins and DHO!

It’s that time of year, where we watch a couple of politicians make a series of speeches talking past each other, trying to convince you to vote against the other guy. In honor of last night’s Presidential debate, we have two homes for your consideration.  Let us know which one you think is the “winner.”

Wearing the green trim, this house from the powerhouse of Palo Alto is either rolling out the red carpet or sticking its tongue out at you.  It confidently flies the Redfin flag.

253 ADDISON Ave
Palo Alto, CA 94301
$889,000

2 Beds 
1 Baths 
1,164 Sq. Ft.
$764 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1933 
Lot Size: 6,272 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 147 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Downtown
MLS#: 81217474
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

TFT. Leasehold. $100,000 Reduction. Charming 2 Cottages on Beautiful Roses Garden. Walk to Downtown Palo Alto. Hardwood Floor. Double Paned Windows. French Doors in Living Room Open to Dinning Room. Sun Room with Custom Built-In Bench. Remodeled Kit & Bath with Stone Slab Counters. Fruit Trees. Mo/Mo Rental for Back Cottage. Leased Land w/ 54+yrs left. Downtown Living at a DISCOUNT!Better Alternative than Condo.

And built like a brick… um, chimney, this entry in hot, hot, HOT Mountain View won’t pull out of the debate just because the agent pullled its listing.  We found photos on Zillow, so all is fair.  And it also welcomes you to the debate, giving you two different welcome walkways!

60 Starr Way
Mountain View, CA 94040
Not for Sale

Zestimate $905,916
Rent Zestimate $2,581/mo

Beds: 2
Baths: 1
Sqft: 1,049
Lot: 6,875 sq ft / 0.16 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1949
Construction quality: 6.0
County: Santa Clara
Garage sqft: 360 
Last remodel year: 1949 
Legal description: TRACT 261 BROOKDALE BOOK 13 PAGE1 10 PAGE2 11 LOT 51
Lot depth: 125 
Lot width: 55 
Parcel #: 18904021 
Per floor sqft: 1,049 
Total rooms: 4 
# Stories: 1 
Structure type: Other 
Unit cnt: 1 
Zillow Home ID: 19529422 

Developers Dream! This 2 bedroom 1 bath, home sits on a6,800sqft lot with plenty of potential. Located in a prime location of MountainView with nearby shopping on Castro Street. Looking for a fixer upper Location,Location, Location! Bring your hammer, nails and imagination!

Starr starts out with a trash bin.  That’s going to be tough for Addison to counter with just a rented cottage in the back “yard.”

But wait, Addison’s on leased land!  Try finding any of that in Mountain View! Even Google hasn’t dared that trick to sneak employee housing by the City Council!

What’s Starr going to do now?  Oh, oh, speaking of Google, it’s reaching for teh interwebz, and… here’s the Redfin page!

That one’s going to leave a mark.  Streetview trashbins, plus it’s not for sale at any price. And when it was for sale, the asking price was $800,000.  That means $762 a square foot, or essentially the same as Addison.

And the winner is… which listing copy interrupted more?